Top 7 real tips: how to respond to an insult beautifully

"How are you?" - one of the most common questions when meeting acquaintances who have not seen each other for some time. It simultaneously solves two problems: it sets the direction for the conversation and allows the person asking to show their interest and good manners.

This ordinary question makes it possible to end the conversation with a brief exchange of words “everything is fine . Or, if a person is very concerned about something, he will present a more detailed answer, which will become the beginning of a long discussion of the problem. People rarely think that such a simple question actually plays a significant role in communication.

It's better not to react

Every master communicator should know everything about how to respond to an insult correctly. If they are trying to somehow verbally offend you or be rude, then the best behavior is not to react to the insult . That is, just be calm and don’t give the person any fuel for his anger .
According to this model of behavior, you win. Why is it sometimes better not to respond:

1. If you are emotionally brought out of your calm state, then you have already lost.
2. If you showed a reaction, you accepted what you were told.
3. If you answer the question, it means you agree with the form in which it was posed.

About swearing and the uselessness of fights

I don’t react to swearing in any way . If I also start answering with obscenities, then I will jump to the level of an insulter. But I don’t accept such communication, it’s outside of my reality.

I don't see the insults, they don't affect me. The best way to competently respond to an insult is not to give an answer or reaction . You don't waste energy and don't get involved in a needless verbal spat.

Using force is simply a futile exercise. Empty fights give nothing except black eyes, bruises and a satisfied ego .

Read more about how to resolve conflicts without fights and not be afraid of battle in our new article here.

Original answers

If the question seems inappropriate, or you don't trust the person instigating the dialogue enough, you're unlikely to be willing to sincerely share personal details. Original options will come to the rescue:

1. “Business is going great, but its direction is unknown.”
2. “Okay, just random.”
3. “It’s like being in a taxi: the more comfortably I travel, the more I’ll pay.”
4. “I feel like a zebra.”
5. “Those who are doing something have things to do, but I’m resting.”
6. “I’m sad that children in Africa are starving.”
7. "Everything is relative. Compared to the affairs of a multimillionaire, not very much.”
8. “I’ll say that it’s cool - you won’t believe it; I’ll say it sucks - you can’t help.”
9. “I think it is not necessary to answer if there is nothing to answer.”
10. “Next question please!”

Know how to respond with a strong look, without unnecessary words

How this happens in detail:

1. Sometimes I just need to look the insulter straight in the eyes for a few seconds, and he has already lost . The offender feels my self-confidence and energy, I project it through my gaze.
2. Strong reality always wins. He already understands everything without words. This is the struggle of realities through the gaze.
3. A simple understanding of why this person behaves this way is enough. I understand why he behaves this way, I read his thinking in his face, what reaction he expects from me - and I deprive him of these same reactions through my gaze. Simple silence.

It's cool to respond to insults with one strong look. Spiritually upgraded guys can do this . This is a very original and rare method. You don't have to be muscular to do this . Try to put this into practice and you will feel the power of my words.

A visual example of a gaze response

Watch a good video example of how to beautifully respond to rudeness with a strong look without a single word. Here the guy in the cap has a look so strong and good that his neighbor was ready to fall through the ground.

Witty options

Even when there is a bad streak in life, it is not necessary to let your interlocutor know about it and ruin his mood. Keep the conversation going with sparkling phrases.

1. “Chocolate! Sticky and brown.”
2. “Like wet sugar. I don’t get enough sleep at all.”
3. “It’s normal until the valerian runs out.”
4. “As always, so-so, but it’s wonderful: I love stability so much.”
5. “How can things get done if it’s such a snowstorm/heat outside?”
6. “I just received my salary, my mood exactly matches its size.”
7. “Young life passes by and leaves the old.”
8. “As long as I live, I don’t plan to die.”
9. “Haven’t killed anyone yet.”
10. “Oh, so much has not been done, and so much remains to be done...”

You yourself will feel better if you present unfavorable life circumstances with humor. Well, if everything is good, even more so, you can joke fun.

Have the perception of a successful person

Change your interpretation and perception of insults and ridicule.

If you get teased or made fun of, that's cool.!

The way I see it is, “Yes, they are talking about me now. Mm...I'm pleased with that. It makes me popular. I'm cool and that's why they're talking about me now. They want to talk about me. They are interested in me. I'm successful. Yes!”:)

That is, I see only positive aspects in this. You're like a famous person! Stars and popular personalities never pay attention to what is said about them . Otherwise they would simply go crazy.

Example phrases

If you nevertheless decide to get involved in a skirmish, then I offer you ready-made original, killer and even threatening phrases for all occasions. With their help, you will always have something to answer the offender:

1. Don't worry, someday you will definitely say something smart and funny.
2. Do not make me angry! I have nowhere to hide the corpses anymore. Come on, I'm kidding! There's still room!
3. Are you paying so much attention to my life because yours isn't going well?
4. I beg you, at least use bone marrow.
5. If I need advice, I will definitely seek you out.
6. Do you always have such a poor imagination or is it just a bad day?

The "Turn Insult into Gold" Method

The next correct reaction to insults is to make the insult even more ridiculous and absurd .

What you need to remember:

• I just take what they told me and make something new out of these words, even more idiotic and ridiculous . To do this you need to be able to laugh at yourself. Know how to shut up your ego. Don't be arrogant.
• Laughing at yourself and self-irony is a great gift . Learn to really laugh at yourself . Not everyone can do this. And no one will be able to hurt you, you will always know how to respond to rudeness beautifully.
• That is, you in no way resist what they tell you , but accept it and turn it in your favor.

This is the art of turning verbal crap into gold. Just ask yourself: “How can these words help me? - and use it.

Here are examples of my phrases to culturally respond to a person’s insult, turning verbal crap into gold:

She: your lips are trembling. Me: Yes, I pump silicone into them every day. Every day in the morning I do this.

She: You have a hairy chest. Me: Yes, it makes me more attractive. This is great for men! Thank you.

The best behavior when meeting an insolent person

You can disarm an arrogant person like this: repeat the same phrase several times: “So what?”; "So, what is next?". Such a reaction will infuriate your interlocutor, and will help you maintain calm.

Just don’t get involved in mutual insults, because your opponent is just waiting for you to start getting annoyed. Don't give him pleasure.

If a coworker is constantly trying to get under your skin, be prepared to respond with sarcasm.

Sarcasm works like a cold shower.

• You say everything correctly, but it’s boring.
• You think you're insulting me, but you're just hiding your insecurities. I guessed?
• How primitively you think, I don’t even want to answer.
• Well, well, talk, talk, maybe something smart will come out.
• And this is all your vocabulary? You don't even have to pretend to be stupid.

If you answer the insolent person competently, he will probably be taken aback and fall silent, because he is ready for a skirmish.

• Should I answer you politely or tell you the truth?
• How primitively do you speak, but you are no longer able to express yourself more intelligently?
• What do you eat? Looks like carcinogens are destroying your brain.
• Are you using your shortcomings to try to hurt my dignity?
• If there is no intelligence, then insults begin.
• To get on the same level as you, I will have to lie on the floor.

Sometimes a person understands only when he is told harshly and rudely.

• Such a stinker can only communicate with flies.
• Have you even washed yourself today?
• You know, it would be better if they planted a tree instead of you!
• You see, your head is big, but you don’t have enough brains in it.
• Haven't you been sterilized yet? It is harmful to reproduce like this.

You can culturally reject the offender.

• Are you trying to offend me? It’s a shame to hear from an intelligent person, but from you it’s funny.
• Wow, how did you learn to speak smartly? Tell me where they teach this.
• It’s a pity that you can’t save the world with your intelligence and beauty.
• How interesting it is to watch you. I haven't been to the circus for so long.
• You do not like me? And so do you.
• Beware that fate will answer you in kind.

Give him back his own words

And the most common way is to return the person’s insult back . That is, you give his words back to him.

Here are examples from life with a beautiful response to an insult, where I return the person’s words back:

She: You're old. Me: Yes! I can be your father or grandfather! How do you feel when you talk to an old man? We see in others what is in ourselves. Look at you. It's great for a guy to be older than a girl. The older a man is, the better he is. For a girl this is terrible.

Him: You idiot! Me: How do I know YOU'RE not an asshole?

Use the law

You can hold the offender accountable, or at least threaten him with it. Punishment for insult is prescribed in the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation, Article 5.61 “Insult”, but slander is already within the scope of the criminal law of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, Article 128.1 “Slander”. In case of insults from your boss, you can contact the HR department.

The main thing is to remember: no one has the right to infringe on your honor, dignity and reputation. But you must answer people in the same way. Otherwise, any recommendations are meaningless.

Ask a counter question: “Why are you behaving this way?”

In order not to get involved in aggression and not stoop to the level of the insulter, it is enough to calmly look into his eyes and ask: “ Why are you behaving this way?” Why are you screaming? " This must be said absolutely calmly, without raising intonation, in your normal voice.

Ask this question to an insulter , and he will understand the following things:

• The insulter will understand that you do not need to throw dirt on each other and you are not interested in empty verbal skirmishes.
• The offender realizes that it is much more important for you to understand the reason for his anger and rage . The aggressor will understand that you see no reason to shout or quarrel. You don’t understand the reason for his such emotional behavior, which has no place here.
• Usually the person calling names begins to think about what he said , considers the correctness of his behavior and his words, and begins to delve into his head.

For example:

The person yells at you and somehow behaves emotionally and negatively towards you.

Me: What happened to you, why are you reacting this way? You're probably tired and worried about something. Let's solve this together.

Funny options

Jokes are most appropriate in a friendly dialogue, but with people you barely know or with your boss it is better to be more serious. It is unknown how humor like this will be received:

1. “It’s like I’m forced to go on a business trip by plane: I feel terrible, but I have to fly.”
2. “Like an autumn leaf: I don’t know which wind will blow it away in the next moment and where.”
3. “All cases have been transferred to the prosecutor.”
4. “Like in the fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm: the further you read them, the scarier they become.”
5. “It’s a bit difficult without sedatives.”
6. “Average for the area.”
7. “No business today!”

Rhyming answers can sound funny, even if they are about sad things. For example:

1. “My heart has been incinerated, and my flesh has already been burned to ashes, but still my saddest affairs are going on magnificently.”
2. “Everything is fine, I’m sleeping on the lampshade.”
3. "How's it going? Not a bump on my head!”

Make your interlocutor laugh if you are already tired of ordinary questions, and perhaps the conversation will take an interesting direction.

Combine all methods at once

You can combine several tips together at the same time! When you implement these skills into communication, you will become a master! You will always know how cleverly you can respond to an insult.

Here is a combination model in the seventh way:

She: You look like a hipster.

Me: Yes, my parents were hipsters. My grandparents were hipsters. But look at you. Your shoes are the most hipster of all.

How do we feel when we are insulted?

• Resentment
• Anger
• Disturbance
• Anger
• Hatred
• Sadness, despondency
• Despair
• Annoyance
• Fear
• Guilt
• Shame
• Confusion
• Contempt.

A whole set of negative feelings. Each of us is visited by one of them or several at once when we hear insults addressed to us. And these feelings largely determine what our response will be in a given situation. Therefore, their awareness is important in order to learn how to correctly respond to any attacks from others addressed to us.

Video “The man shut up the insulter and forced him to leave silently”

In the following video, trainer from RSD Tyler clearly demonstrates how to respond to insults and humiliation correctly and how to win in conflicts. Some guy I didn't know insulted him, calling him a "balding red-haired loser," a "moron," and a couple of other obscene words.

Tyler simply trampled the stranger into the mud verbally and broke his reality . Everything about how to beautifully respond to rudeness to an offender and how Tyler did it is clearly demonstrated in this video.

Feminine Checks: The art of turning verbal crap into gold in detail, become a master of witty responses to a girl's insult.

3 aspects of personal growth: become better and more successful - the unspoken rules of advanced guys.

How to motivate yourself for life: the whole truth about motivation and passion + motivational video.

How to teach a teenager to defend himself

Teenagers at school often resort to insults. You can, of course, answer boldly and harshly, but why, to hear a continuation? Isn’t it better to answer coolly: “And you turn out to be smart”? If the opponent continues, you should praise again: “Well, you’re showing your intelligence again!”

In general, at school it is difficult to immediately find an answer to rudeness. Simple questions should be asked, for example, “Is that all?”, “So what?” If the boor does not calm down, you can torture him with monosyllabic questions, then proudly leave.

Reasons why people are rude

Understand the essence of the problem, and you will understand people more, the reasons for their indignation, and become less involved in it. Knowing the reason for people’s indignation, you will no longer take the offender seriously and take his words to heart. You will immediately understand how to respond to an insult beautifully and resolve a conflict situation peacefully.

The following are the main reasons why people are rude and insolent::

1. The man is unhappy and he does not enjoy himself . By shouting at others and taking out his anger, he believes that he will become happier. Happy people are happy in themselves. Without a reason.
2. The person is very tense and this results in negativity towards others . People are depressed - because they are dissatisfied with themselves, with their lives, they have their own internal pain.
3. They're not throwing shit out because of you, they just don't like their life . Just understand them and take it calmly, don’t waste your nerves.
4. A person wants to amuse his ego by reducing the importance of another person . This is characteristic of ambitious and vain people who love to feel superior to someone. We explain in detail what a person’s EGO is here.
5. Emotions have overwhelmed the person, and he can no longer control himself.
6. Due to the fact that a person grew up in a disadvantaged place, or as they say “grew up on the street ,” it is alien to him to behave politely and judiciously towards others.
7. A person wants to look good in the eyes of others - the desire for someone else's approval . After all, if you were alone, he most likely would not tell you anything. Again, vanity and insignificant factors inherent in small people.
8. Inferiority complex and empty arrogance in people.

Insulting people and being rude is the lot of a weak and insecure person. Know that there will always be such people. There is no point in fighting them. You can't please everyone. And there is no point in trying to please everyone. All you can do is be yourself and live the life of your dreams. You move forward and no one will stop you. No words! Only you can stop yourself, no one else!

If a person is happy, then no insult will affect him. So be happy! And for this, know yourself.

Now you know everything about how to learn to respond to an insult with dignity. Thank you for reading our article. Leave your comments below.

Regular answers

The most common options are neutral, as laconic as possible. You should not indulge in long discussions on the topic, unless, of course, you want to be considered a bore. If the interlocutor asks a question not out of banal politeness, he himself will clarify the points that interest him.

If all is good

When you're in a great mood, be sure to share positive emotions. Remember the song about why it is important to share a smile with the world and others?

1. “It’s either just cool or very cool.”
2. “All in a bundle!”
3. “Cool, maybe there will be more!”
4. "All OK".
5. “There is not a single reason to complain.”
6. “If I share the details, you’ll be jealous, so I’ll answer briefly: everything is super.”
7. “I feel like a cat: I’m constantly purring with pleasure.”
8. "Great".
9. "The best!".
10. “Great plans! Enslave the world, for example.”

If everything is truly wonderful, it doesn’t matter what words you use to convey it. Intonation will more clearly indicate a favorable state of mind than words, and you will definitely charge your interlocutor with a good mood.

If things go wrong

Of course, you can answer sharply negatively so that they definitely stop asking further questions, however, it is better to stay within the bounds of politeness. You can report a negative mood like this:

1. “It’s like after a well-spent New Year’s Eve.”
2. “I think you know the answer? We both live in Russia.”
3. “I live in an atmosphere that flies would appreciate.”
4. “Shit.”
5. “Like driving a six in a car race.”
6. “It’s like I’m sitting on an unsuccessful fishing trip: it seems to bite often, but only a trifle.”
7. “It’s like traveling on a ship, only with seasickness.”
8. “Breathtaking! You know what happens in creepy thrillers? I feel like the main character.”
9. “Glad to be alive.”
10. “Like a button: every day I climb into a noose.”

A bad mood is not a reason to press your interlocutor for pity. An overly pessimistic attitude may discourage him from talking to you in the future. Learn to present information about any life circumstances without spreading a negative mood to those who are polite.

Behind the mask of a boor and a brute is a child

It is important to understand that behind the mask of a boor and a rude person is a child. The physiological age of this person can be absolutely any, but psychologically he is obviously stuck in his childhood years - in the period when an injury occurred that he could not cope with.

The position of an adult is to be tactful, confident, and communicate with people on the same plane. The boor is trying in every possible way to achieve his superiority and show that he is taller and cooler, although inside he feels exactly the opposite, and this leads to conflict.

Most often, such a person needs help, although he himself does not realize it, being confident that everything is fine with him, he is coping with everything and has everything under control. Life is not easy for him among ordinary people.

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Photo: from the heroine’s personal archive.

What compliments men can give and how to respond to them

With the help of compliments, men express their approval of a girl’s appearance or behavior. But praise does not always sound like a sincere expression of feelings and can be similar to causticity or flattery. How to properly respond to compliments for men and distinguish between sincerity and sarcasm - read on.

Compliments can be of different levels:

• The object of the compliment is on the same level as the speaker.
• The object is below the level of the speaker.
• The object is above the level of the speaker.

If a woman is in a position higher than a man, he should think before expressing his affection for her. He himself may find himself in an awkward position. If a man dominates, a woman may perceive praise as a favor. A positive reaction and successful outcome can be expected when both are on equal footing.

Men who are timid by nature can often veil praise and do not speak openly. You can hear the following phrase from them: “That guy over there is looking at you without taking his eyes off!”

It is not always appropriate to directly praise a girl. First, it’s better to communicate, set the mood for a romantic mood, so that pleasant words are appropriate. How should a girl react to a man’s veiled compliments? What mistakes do representatives of the fair sex make when responding to words of praise?

General advice from a psychologist

In any controversial situation, try to understand the person. In the matter of insults, this rule also works. Let's look at the psychologist's advice on how to react correctly.

Master your emotions

The main goal of an aggressive person is to hurt you more. Therefore, the first advice: do not show that you are upset, control your emotions. The insult of your acquaintances will end, because the goal has not been achieved, it is not interesting to continue further.

I suggest you take Nicholas Hall's emotional intelligence test. It consists of 30 questions, the completion time is 5 minutes. The results in the second scale of “Managing your emotions” will show your level from 6 to 36.

In order to fully control your emotions, I advise you to upgrade your emotional intelligence.

Ignoring an insult

Increase your distance

If you are insulted by a stranger in order to assert yourself in front of others, do not try to prove that you are right - this will not lead to anything good. Increase your distance with this person.

“Extinguish” with a smile

If it is not possible to increase the distance, try to appear confident, confuse your opponent with your wide smile and the question: “Why are you behaving this way?” Smooth out the caustic phrases and smile.

Such a reaction will earn others respect for you, and they will be able to defend you against the offender. Remember that your peace of mind will protect you. If you “climb into the bottle”, you may not calculate the strengths and capabilities of yourself and the “aggressor”.

“When a person is hungry, he becomes angry and aggressive”

Maria Prokhorova

psychologist, accredited gestalt therapist

– This type of behavior, such as rudeness, is typical for people who are bitter, embittered and offended by the whole world. Most often, they grew up in a deficit of parental love and conditions of emotional hunger. And, having matured, such people act from the same deficit state, see the surrounding reality distorted and react very sharply to it.

A person in a state of completeness is happy with everything. He has no desire to notice the bad, to defend himself from the outside world and to be rude to passers-by - this is the lot of unhappy people.

A trivial example: when a person is hungry, he becomes angry and aggressive. And after physical hunger is satisfied, a person becomes kinder, softer, more accommodating. And in the case of emotional hunger, everything is the same.

If you come to a funeral, what should you do?

The response to receiving news of the death of a loved one is to attend the funeral.

Some rules dictated by mourning etiquette:

1. There is no need to dress flashy and bright. Dark muted colors would be appropriate. Women must wear floor-length skirts, and men must wear suits.
2. Bring napkins or a scarf with you. When your feelings overwhelm you, to be able to wipe away your tears. Perhaps someone present will need them too.
3. Leave large totes and large accessories at home.
4. If you talk to someone, do so quietly, barely in a whisper.
5. Don't follow the coffin. Relatives must lead the way.

Be sure to approach the relatives of the deceased and express words of sympathy:

• “It’s very difficult for me to find the right words of comfort right now, but I sincerely sympathize with your grief.”
• “We are shocked by what happened, please accept our condolences.”

If you are unable to come to the funeral in person, be sure to call your relatives after some time. From the outside it won't seem like a late reaction. If you called, it means you remember and mourn with them.

Funeral meal

The funeral meal usually begins immediately after the funeral. At funerals, pancakes and kutya (dishes with wheat, raisins and nuts) are usually served on the table.

Those who wish say funeral words about the deceased. It is not customary to say bad things. In this case, it is better to remain silent. The presentation should consist of the following stages:

• make a speech while standing;
• address those present: “Friends”, “Dear relatives” (usually call the family by name);
• introduce yourself and state how you know the deceased;
• remember his positive qualities;
• You may want to tell about an interesting incident from the life of the deceased. Sometimes people read their own poems dedicated to the deceased.

The main thing is not to delay. The speech should be short and succinct. Conclude that the deceased did not live his life in vain. Again, offer your condolences to your loved ones and pass the word on to someone else who wishes to do so.