Apathy, laziness, loneliness, boredom - how to get rid of and overcome?

Boredom is a type of negative emotion or mood; a passive mental state, characterized by a decrease in activity, lack of interest in any activity, the surrounding world and other people. Boredom, unlike apathy, is accompanied by irritability and anxiety.

And, unlike apathy, we can get rid of boredom on our own. How to deal with boredom? What is the nature of this annoying and completely unproductive condition?;) If we know the reasons, we can catch ourselves at the initial stage


For answers to everything in the world, we can again say “thank you” to the psychologists who were not lazy and conducted another study. This time we say thank you to John Eastwood, Alexandra Frischen, Mark Fenske and Daniel Smilek. In her article for Psychological Science, which was published in September 2012, she talks about her research on boredom - what causes it, what its nature is and how to get rid of it quickly.

Why is boredom dangerous for a person?

As it turned out, doctors are very worried if they hear from their patient that he is bored all the time. They argue that it is much more dangerous than sexual desires and inadequate ambitions. Boredom is one of the most important problems of humanity, haunting people since the beginning of centuries. It is she who is the provocateur of various ways to dispel life, and often they end in tears.

In order not to experience discomfort due to the lack of interesting, exciting activities, people manage to find themselves in situations from which a lot of troubles can happen. Some people are ready to do anything to eliminate the symptoms of boredom, even engage in activities that do not interest them at all. Just to experience at least some sensations.

That is, people are addicted to activity. Activity is like a drug, necessary in moments when you want to wake up, shake yourself and do at least something. And if a person experiences pathological boredom and despondency associated with the state of his body, then not a single hobby can change the state of affairs. Entertainment and passion can brighten up the existence of a bored person for a short time. As soon as the holiday ends, boredom immediately makes itself felt.

Any person needs renewed emotions, pleasant, fresh impressions, and entertainment. We all need a release from home routine and monotony. If this is not the case, then the individual’s development begins to slow down.

Do some sports

Lack of exercise is another cause of boredom. If you sit at home all day, occasionally going out to the store to shop, you will feel stressed. Stress and tension accumulate and negatively affect the emotional state. Even simple exercises will relieve physical stress. Why is it boring without playing sports? Physical activity is a great way to increase levels of the hormone endorphin, which is responsible for good mood. You don't need complicated equipment to stay fit and feel good. Push-ups, squats and barpees do the trick. And of course, don’t forget about an ordinary jump rope, which is convenient to train with at home. But you don't need to exercise for too long. Research shows that short exercise sessions are the perfect way to relieve boredom. But playing sports for too long causes depression and physical exhaustion. Yoga is a great choice when it comes to physical activity. Try some simple asanas. This will allow you to put your thoughts in order and relax after a day spent at the computer.

What problems does boredom cause?

Is it true that the feeling of boredom we are studying can be the culprit of problems in a person’s life? Yes, doctors answer in the affirmative. What are they?

  1. Frequent nervousness, tension.
  2. The desire to suppress boredom with the help of alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. It is because of this that many refuse to quit smoking and drinking. And if you manage to free yourself from bad habits for a short period of time, then over time they return.
  3. Avoiding boredom by visiting nightclubs and frequently changing sexual partners.
  4. Inability to enjoy the same state of affairs for a long time, for example, the same vacation, meetings, trips.
  5. Lack of ability to focus on important things.
  6. Loss of ability to relax.
  7. Presence of chronic fatigue.
  8. Inappropriate craving for various types of purchases of completely unnecessary things, shopaholism.
  9. There are a lot of tasks in my head, confusion, but I don’t want to do any of them.
  10. Melancholy, lack of active existence, apathy.
  11. Saturation with life.

As a result of a set of moments created from a boring life, a person loses the ability to make the right choice, make the right decisions. He loses chances and opportunities, and sees only false goals in front of him, does not feel happy and cannot fully enjoy life.

Well, how do you like this arrangement? Impressive? Believe me, all this was not taken from the air. In order to understand what threatens each of us with boredom, scientists conducted large-scale studies. They realized that most stupid, ridiculous and even dangerous ideas come into a person’s head precisely at moments when he becomes bored. Of course, having learned about this, few of us want to become someone who is capable of doing wrong things because of it. What is needed for this? That's right, get rid of this terrible boredom provocateur. Is this possible?

Don't be formal about formalities

If you are most bored by daily planning meetings, briefings, briefings and similar meetings, try to change your attitude towards them. Learn to see the “grain of truth” behind all such procedures.

It’s better not to constantly look at your watch or sit with your head buried in your phone, but to delve into the issues that are being discussed. Actively ask your questions about unclear aspects of your work, make specific proposals, solve problems - and time will fly by and the feeling of boredom will pass.

Is it possible to eliminate boredom forever?

Most of us mistakenly believe that the phenomenon we are studying is boredom, it is a natural, everyday thing. Without it, human existence is simply impossible. From time to time she is ready to overtake anyone, even the funniest clown in the world. And of course, we think that it is impossible to get rid of it under any circumstances, except to dispel it for a while.

And so every time, I got bored - I was distracted by something, time passed and I got bored again. But doctors say the exact opposite: boredom is a personality flaw. And if you work on your qualities, you can eliminate this unpleasant phenomenon once and for all.

Are none of our readers familiar with people who manage their time and emotions well? They are never bored, but always find something to do to their liking. Even at rest they are never bored. They listen to their favorite music, eat their favorite food and feel very comfortable at the same time. They do not look for simple, primitive ways to have fun - they do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, and especially do not use drugs. They do not need company to feel happy, to feel pleasure. They just know how to be alone with themselves and do not feel discomfort.

Take the initiative more often

If the range of your responsibilities is very limited, and you feel hidden potential, try expanding your powers. Invite your boss to entrust you with developing a project or at least drawing up a schedule or diagram. It is very interesting to do monitoring and surveys of colleagues. When communicating with people, time will fly by.

If you realize that you can become a mentor for young staff or interns, offer yourself in this capacity. By explaining to someone the intricacies of your work, you will feel a completely different interest in it, and previously boring duties will seem irreplaceable to you.

The ability to spend time alone is a special talent

Since childhood, we have been afraid of the word “loneliness.” This is understandable, we are told that, being completely alone, a person is a defenseless creature who can be attacked by anyone. Nobody is saying that this is a wrong position. It’s just that as we get older, we begin to confuse loneliness with the desire to be alone with ourselves.

Everyone needs a break from socializing, especially if there is a lot of it. And what is boredom in this context - a way to minimize the amount of time we spend alone. Wait, why is this necessary? What's wrong with enjoying peace and quiet? Maybe stop thinking like you did in childhood and follow the stupid advice of strangers that you need to run away from loneliness.

Believe me, being in a single position, a person has time to think, think through his life, reassess his capabilities and find the very meaning of life. It was while alone with themselves that geniuses made their greatest discoveries, wrote books, poems, paintings, etc. It is impossible to become the author of an important decision, to understand what you are striving for, if you are constantly being interfered with, interference is created.

Doctors say that a person cannot concentrate and follow the desired course in life if he does not have the opportunity to think in silence. Do you know how the will of a person is subjugated in the army? It's simple - a soldier must be constantly busy with something - running, cleaning, sewing collars, peeling potatoes, learning the rules, etc. Whatever he wants, this is the only way he doesn’t have the opportunity to think again, to plunge into thoughts. This means that he is completely subordinate to the commander.

In totalitarian states, people are constantly in the information field. They are always shown and demonstrated something. And if he wants to calm down and relax, then they turn on the radio, and of course, with patriotic programs. And when the moment of solitude comes, he feels terrible discomfort. He immediately wants to fill the void with something, because he is not just bored, but even scared. Well, now you understand that the boredom we are studying is not a natural, but a developed phenomenon, a human quality.

Listen to fun music

Music is a proven way to lift your spirits. Pleasant music will make you forget about your bad mood and sadness. A good playlist will turn the most monotonous work into an exciting activity. Even the dull task of washing dishes becomes interesting when you listen to your favorite artist. I like to listen to music while I clean the apartment or water the flowers. If you cannot concentrate on monotonous work, turn on quiet and melodic music. Psychologists believe that music activates areas of the brain responsible for attention. Choose music that evokes positive emotions. Do you remember the music that played at your graduation? It's time to refresh your memories by turning on your favorite band or artist.

For whom boredom is motivation?

Yes, in order to escape from it, we start doing something. Therefore, most argue that it is a motivation for more active activity. But that's not true! If you don’t believe me, then let’s draw an analogy with drug addicts.

Imagine a person who lived a normal life and made ends meet. But at one point, he was hooked on drugs. From now on, his need to get the next dose becomes more important than air. That is, he needs to look for a more profitable position so that he can buy drugs. Moreover, you need to work even harder, with responsibility, otherwise you will be kicked out without a second thought.

Do we really need to be grateful for the existence of drugs, since they motivate people to look for better jobs and work harder at them? No! It’s just that the drug addict’s life before that was quite satisfactory, either because of laziness, or because of unpretentiousness and low ambitions.

take a shower

It's hard to believe, but a regular morning shower can save you from boredom. We have already told you how to set up a spa at home. Now is the time to take advantage of these tips. A contrast shower will charge you with energy and good mood for the whole day. This is a simple trick to try. Switch the water between warm and cool. But do not forget that at the end you must return your body temperature to normal so as not to catch a cold. When I'm bored, even a different shower gel cheers me up. This is my way of freeing my mind from obsessive thoughts. Try the refreshing aromas of citrus, mint and eucalyptus. They will keep you focused and clear your brain fog. It's time to try that fancy shower gel you got for your birthday.

How to stop being bored

So, we talked for a long time about how boredom is a dangerous thing in our lives. Therefore, we pull ourselves together and carefully study how to get rid of it.

The most important thing is to learn to enjoy the moments when you are alone with yourself. There is no need to fear anything right away. It will be a little uncomfortable at first, but you will get used to it over time. Think about your life, remember pleasant moments from the past, plan for the future. Now no one can stop you from setting goals and dreaming of happiness.

If you have problems, think about how to get out of them, how to improve your financial situation. Is this really possible if you are always surrounded by loved ones and friends and you are not even allowed to think calmly? Of course not!

Boredom can also be caused by inner emptiness. If a person is not passionate, has no interests, joys, desires. Such people go with the flow. And they do nothing in their lives, they completely lack ambitious plans.

Peace and quiet are in short supply these days. Residents of large cities can only dream of escaping away from the hustle and bustle. So take advantage of the moment. It would be great if you went out of town, to the sea. There you will receive colossal energy from the fresh air, peace and quiet, disturbed by the evening breeze of the cold waves. You don’t need to think about anything, look at the blue sky, at the blue crashing waves, let your brain “rest.”

Learn new skills

If you want your job to become more varied, new skills are needed. For example, you will have to master speed reading or undergo training in the “blind” method of typing on the keyboard. If you want to describe or publish your work experience, you need to get an idea of ​​the genres and specifics of articles; you may want to become a copywriter in order to be able to disseminate your experience on the Internet.

Or maybe you even want to start your own website or blog, where you and your like-minded people will jointly discuss problems related to your immediate responsibilities. This way you will have a lot of new knowledge, and you will no longer be bored. And mastering new skills can be noticed by management, which will also affect your professional growth.

How to relieve boredom

Now let's move on to the simplest ways to escape from a boring pastime. They are available to everyone without exception. In addition, they are completely harmless, but rather useful and will bring a lot of pleasure.

Sign up for a dance course. How often do we realize after work that we would like to spend time with interesting and cheerful people. Dancing is what you need! At the same time, you can improve your figure, get rid of excess weight and improve your mood.

A great way to get rid of boredom and do something useful is to start cleaning your apartment or house. Surely you have places where you haven’t touched a dust cloth for a long time. Organize your closets, remove books from shelves, and remove dust that carries allergy mites. Look at the condition of your flowers. After all, how nice it is when, after a few movements with your hands, your home takes on a clean and beautiful look. According to psychologists, when you put things in order in the house, this directly affects the person’s condition. If there is a mess in it, then there is confusion in the head.

Start cooking. Maybe you have taken on kitchen responsibilities before, but now start creating something new, original, extraordinary. Open cooking websites and you will understand that there really are no limits to human imagination. Look at what masterpiece creations are presented on video channels, such as YouTube. And each dish always comes with a full explanation, recipe, and cooking instructions.

Make new acquaintances. This is the best way not only to dispel boredom, but also to gain new impressions and sensations. There are no completely identical people on Earth, so look for new connections from which you will expand your knowledge.

Bored men are generally nonsense. After all, there is always something to nail, glue, or fix in the house. Therefore, do something useful. Put things in order everywhere so that cabinets and shelves don’t fall on your family’s heads.

Go out of town to pick mushrooms. A quiet hunt brings peace, and the smells of trees will bring tremendous pleasure, refresh your thoughts, and calm your nervous system. If you don’t know how to pick mushrooms, don’t understand them, don’t take risks. It’s better to fill a basket with acorns, cones, chestnuts and other natural home decor items and create beautiful crafts. How to make them - look on the Internet.

Take up some hobby. Open the pages of the World Wide Web and be amazed at the diversity that will simply make your head spin. What wonderful things you can create with your own hands using available materials. Moreover, having a pleasant time with a hobby will also allow you to earn good money, which will not hinder the family budget.

Keep up the correspondence. The epistolary genre is a thing of the past, and this is a great pity. Well, let's catch up with modern methods, especially since there are a million possibilities for this. Go to social networks, find friends with similar interests, they group there, and correspond with them. Believe me, it’s very exciting to tell a complete stranger about your hobby, life, and joys.

Ride your bike. Rent a very healthy vehicle and drive around the places provided for this. At the same time, you will not only enjoy the speed, but also strengthen your health, muscles, and gain colossal energy.

Go to a meeting with friends, visit a disco. No need to drink alcohol, just relax and dance, listen to music and share your news with your friends.

If you're bored, call your old friends. There are probably a lot of numbers in your phone book that you haven’t dialed for a long time. I wonder how their lives turned out, maybe there are some big news or events.

The easiest way to relieve boredom is to watch TV. Everything here is optional, if you want to watch the series, please, there are special channels. If you want to watch the life of amazing animals, there are a lot of channels through which you can plunge into the world of the Jungle, tropical forests, deserts, etc.

Take up board games. For those who have a more active approach, we suggest learning to play table tennis, chess, and possibly checkers. By the way, if there is a park nearby, take chess, dominoes, backgammon - your choice, and go there. It won't take long before you find a great gaming partner.

You can also get carried away with computer games. But there's a catch. Playgrounds offer their users not only real games for money, but also demo versions of video games. Starting with free entertainment, some switch to money and lose large sums. So be careful!

Start drawing. If you want to develop your artistic talent, sign up for a drawing course. They will help you in a matter of weeks to comprehend the secrets, thanks to which you will be able to reflect whatever you want on canvas. Take a palette and canvas with you and go to the park, to the forest, to the river and paint pictures.

If you have a desire to write your own creations, start. It's time to show the world your talents. Write poems, stories. It's okay if they are a little awkward at first. Believe me, each of the great writers started out the same way. Over time, your abilities will take on a brilliant form, and you will be able to be proud of everything that was created by your thoughts and hands.

Since childhood, you have dreamed of playing musical instruments - please. Moreover, in our time, you don’t even need to waste time going to school and money for lessons. Open online video courses on learning different musical instruments and repeat.

Go to the cinema, it's been a while since you've been there. There is a big difference between a home theater and a stationary one. You can really feel the breath of the actors in the new film. Get real pleasure from eating popcorn, powerful sound and amazing effects.

If there are no four-legged friends in the house, go to the bird market and buy yourself a cat or a dog (if there are no allergies). Together with your pet, it will be easier for you to get up in the morning and walk in the park. Motivation for a more active lifestyle and discipline appears.

Take patronage over a lonely old woman. Most likely, in your house, in your neighboring house, in your neighborhood, there are elderly people who need your help. You don’t need to spend a lot, just buy groceries for them, clean their house, take them for walks, bring them freshly baked cookies or a cake. This way you will find true peace, because mercy gives us colossal energy and peace.

Do charity work. This method is unique in itself, as it provides invaluable assistance to those who need it. Now you will not waste time, and with every step you take towards those who suffer, your spiritual component will develop more and more.

You can provide assistance to animal shelters, carry food, medicine there, or to hospices where sick people are located. There is no need to scold us for putting these two types of assistance on the same level. In both the first and second cases, the matter concerns living beings, and our smaller brothers also need kindness, mercy and human participation, just like people. So, you can spend all your free time in hospices. Assisting staff in caring for patients, reading books to sick children, walking with a patient in the clinic park. This is the best thing a person can do to another.

Fatigue and accumulated stress

Boredom, apathy, laziness and loneliness can come from fatigue and stress. Because stress and fatigue chronically take away a person’s opportunity to recuperate and change their life, it is necessary to combat such things as boredom, laziness, apathy and loneliness, to get rid of fatigue and stress.

Fatigue should be treated with small physical activities, as they will help increase the overall tone of the body. Measured and proper rest is also very important. It consists of a simple break from everything on the bed or sofa. Not only work, but also entertainment puts a lot of stress on a person, since the information that comes in while on social networks or watching a TV series is much more voluminous and varied, which puts a lot of strain on a person’s brain, giving him a constant feeling of fog and fatigue. For a full recovery, a person just needs to lie down once a day for 10-30 minutes and just doze, giving the brain the opportunity to digest everything.

Fatigue can also be reduced by changing the environment, at least for a while. For example, take a walk or go somewhere. If you do everything correctly, fatigue will subside after a while, returning you a lot of strength. But the main thing is, again, not to overload the body with excessive loads, and the brain with unnecessary information.

It is necessary to get rid of stress through sublimation: physical activity, hobbies, and hobbies are also important here. Proper communication often helps, allowing a person to share difficulties. The most difficult option will be to realize what causes stress and change your attitude towards the object of stress in such a way as to reduce or completely remove it. But this requires work on yourself.

Getting rid of boredom - changing ourselves

So, we figured out how to say goodbye to the boring days in our lives once and for all. And only now, when we apply the acquired knowledge in reality, can we understand how rich, interesting and incredibly beautiful our existence is becoming. Now, we wait with pleasure for everyone to go away and leave us alone, alone with our thoughts, desires, and dreams.

It can even go so far that it is in a state of peace that we feel the happiness that nature bestows on every person. No fuss, no one asks a lot of questions, especially stupid ones, no one will need your participation. Just relax and contemplate the joy of being. And if you periodically, following our recommendations, do good to those who need it, then you will feel such a surge of natural strength, happiness and satisfaction that you are about to fly to heaven with pleasure.

Change your workplace

As you know, it is not the place that makes the person, but the person who makes the place. This expression can also be taken literally. Of course, if you are a conductor or driver on a bus, it is unlikely that you will be able to change anything radically. But even a photo of family or just a positive picture can lift your spirits.

When your working day is spent in the office, there are many ways you can cheer yourself up. Gray walls can be decorated with bright paintings of unusual design, dim lighting can be corrected with fashionable lamps with neon light or fluorescent lamps.

And if you get green plants, you can create a whole oasis around you: the air will be fresher and the view will change. And when the plants bloom, especially in the middle of winter, you can feel the approach of spring, and then any boredom will pass.

Throw an online party

Self-isolation is not a reason to forget about parties with friends. Social connections are incredibly important for mental balance. Phone calls and instant messaging are great, but soon you begin to notice that you lack communication. An online party or an online date is a great way to break the monotony of life. A virtual dinner with friends or a game night will put you in a good mood for a long time. Today, many popular clubs are hosting virtual parties on Zoom. This is another opportunity to have a blast and dance to the music of your favorite DJ. In addition, many hobby clubs and even fitness trainers have moved online. Sign up for a class with your friends. You will support each other and have a great time together.

Treat yourself to something delicious

We live in an era of endless diets, manically counting calories. We try to eat healthy foods and forget about the main thing - food should make us happy. Of course, there are hundreds of recipes that make cauliflower the most delicious food ever. But sometimes you need to forget about vitamins, microelements and calories while enjoying your favorite dish. Have a fast day when you eat whatever you want. If you follow a strict diet, a loading day will not ruin your achievements. Moreover, it will allow you to lose weight faster. All restaurants are closed today, but you can order home delivery. This is another way to support your favorite restaurant or local cafe. Finally, try mastering a new recipe. This is a great hobby to escape boredom. Don't be discouraged if you can't cook a new dish the first time. Mastery comes with time.

Big project

We need purpose to feel full in life. When the usual course of events is disrupted, the motivation that gave meaning to life disappears. It's time to come up with a new goal to strive for. It doesn't have to be a huge project like writing a book or running your own business. Think about the things you've been planning for a long time. Surely you have a list of films or a stack of books that you have long dreamed of reading. Perhaps you've long ago bookmarked a recipe you've been wanting to cook. Even the smallest goal fills life with interesting events. And of course, you will feel joy when you complete it. You don't have to do everything at once. Break the goal into several stages and do little by little.

Start keeping a diary

Bullet journaling is another way to forget about boredom. Many psychologists recommend keeping a diary. This will allow you to understand your feelings and why you are bored. You don't have to describe your day in detail. Write down three good events in your diary. You will be able to understand that you have more interesting events than you think. Journaling is a great way to differentiate one day from another. Write down things that bother you or make you happy. Try to understand the reasons for negative emotions. I like to end the day with a journal, writing down the events that happened that day. Thoughts written on the pages of the diary instantly cease to excite. Therefore, psychologists recommend keeping a diary for people who often experience anxiety.

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