The desire to become an insensitive person is not uncommon among both young people and older generations.
The main reason is the reluctance to experience pain from betrayal and insults, which can cause mental trauma and negatively affect self-esteem.
In fact, the path to a minimum amount of emotions is not easy, but in this article we will look at ways in which this can be achieved.
Not everything is given
Just take your time. First, think carefully about whether this is how you want to rid yourself of emotions. They are often more difficult to restore than to eliminate. By the way, not everyone is given the gift of being insensitive.
Remember: few people experience a true absence of emotions. Usually cruelty and composure are in a person’s blood. If there is a predisposition to these traits, then solving our today’s issue will be easy and simple. Otherwise, you will literally step on your own throat and your internal structure.
Often sympathetic, kind people think about how to become an insensitive person. And not vindictive. They will have to work very seriously on themselves. As practice shows, such people are not able to really bring the idea to life. Only for a while. And then there will be a feeling of guilt inside. But true composure does not allow this.
What does emotional competence consist of?
EQ is built on four components:
- Self-awareness . The main "ingredient". High self-awareness allows a person to recognize his strengths and weaknesses, weak and strong traits, his own needs, goals, and motives.
- Self-control . It stems from self-awareness. A person who has studied himself learns to manage his emotions. Although they are initially driven by biological mechanisms, it is quite possible to learn to take control of them. The ability of self-regulation allows you to free yourself from the “fetters of feelings.” People capable of self-control can always pull themselves together and not succumb to despondency or excessive euphoria.
- Empathy . This ability is already aimed at communication. It means the ability to understand the feelings of others, manage relationships, having knowledge of the emotions of another person.
- Relationship skills . This can also be called communication skills. Some people confuse this trait with friendliness. In part, this is correct, but we are talking about friendliness, which pursues a specific goal. It is associated with establishing mutually beneficial relationships.
Return to suffering
The first rule that can help is to return to your suffering. Every person has some memories that bring pain or great resentment. These are the ones you will have to turn to in your subconscious every time you are overcome with positive emotions.
It usually becomes very painful to experience negative moments at first. But at one point this feeling disappears. And you stop caring. Once you achieve this, it will be easier to solve the problem.
Try to remember all the negative events at once, en masse. Only then can you fully answer how to become insensitive. Yes, it may seem impossible, but with continued practice, you will notice clear changes in your behavior.
What is love
Love is a kind of dependence on a person. It originates at deep psychological, physiological and spiritual levels, the mechanism of which has not yet been fully understood by man. At this moment, everything connected with the object of love takes on some special meaning. Makes life unforgettable and colors it in bright colors.
People don't want to leave. There is a feeling of integrity, clarity, happiness - everything that a person may miss for many years of life.
But a moment may come when a lover or beloved ceases to live up to expectations. During such a period, a person may accumulate grievances and worries. Love has not yet passed, but a strong desire to stop loving appears.
Lack of attention
The second rule is not to pay attention to anything. Neither for people, nor for any events. Forget about holidays, about relatives, about friends. Sometimes it is enough to fail to congratulate someone on their birthday once for you to be considered cold-blooded.
Yes, it will be difficult at the very beginning. Especially when your favorite holiday comes or some bright, joyful, emotional event occurs. But you should not just ignore it, but meet it with complete indifference. Until you learn this, you will not become an insensitive person. After all, such people usually rarely show their emotions. Most often, their faces show complete indifference to everything.
Who is ChSV
It is human nature to evaluate oneself with low, medium and high degrees of significance. When he is endowed with low self-esteem, he underestimates his own strength. With normal self-esteem, there is an adequate perception of one’s positive and negative qualities. When it’s overpriced, he literally doesn’t see his minuses point-blank, but extols his merits to the skies.
Signs of emotional distress include imposing one’s own point of view, even when there is no need for it. Constant desire to prove one’s own rightness, resulting in entering into disputes. There will always be an excuse for all failures. Has a strong desire to be the center of attention.
A person endowed with a sense of self-importance is always willing to help others, but this manifests itself in excessive obsession. Aggressiveness or scandalousness often manifests itself, especially when they refuse his offered help.
PSV-ers are vindictive and constantly look for negative qualities in others. They often become unbearable for those close to them, as they often spray verbal “acid.”
Let's say no to help
A very interesting fact - refusing to help someone instantly makes you a cruel, bad person. Even if you really are simply unable to help or refuse for some specific, justified reasons. This means that in order to figure out how to become an insensitive creature, you just need to not help people. That is, in general. Absolutely. Even in small things. Remember: helping is very unprofitable. Especially close people. They often demand things from you that will cause you harm. In addition, practical help awakens positive emotions. And this is of no use to you. After all, the main task facing you is to completely get rid of emotions.
Please note that you must always refuse. And even if help is vital. Initially this will not be easy. But over time you will get used to it. By the way, very often such a step makes life much easier. You will not do anything to the detriment of yourself.
Suffer again and again
It’s worth mentioning right away that this method works differently for different people, and can either make you insensitive and indifferent, or send you into a protracted binge.
It is not because of a good life that people are looking for opportunities to become cold and insensitive. Do you agree? After all, something or someone probably touched you to the core? Apathy towards the source of pain and suffering appears immediately. But this state should be prolonged as much as possible, returning to memories again and again, experiencing everything again from the very beginning. Don't try to forget everything, suffer. Over time, your sensitivity to the situation that hurt you so much will become less and less. And what was the cause of suffering a month or two ago will today make you feel completely indifferent. Over time, you will get used to this state, and it will become completely natural for you. And if history repeats itself in the future, it will no longer hurt you.
By the way, have you ever thought about the work of a doctor, or a morgue employee? What about the fate of the military? They face pain and suffering every day. They literally immerse themselves in them and quickly get used to them. Over time, many people get used to the pain and no longer notice the suffering of other people. With such work, you will definitely no longer be touched by tears, prayers, or the suffering of others. This is one of the most effective ways to become an insensitive person.
Mirroring
Are you often bullied? Or maybe you are simply succumbing to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage...and mirror your behavior. Don't be afraid to touch the nerves of your offenders. However, like all other people.
What does it mean? Treat your offenders the same way they treat you. It doesn’t matter who it is - a relative or just a friend/acquaintance. Take people who hurt you as an example. They are usually just perfect role models. After all, the ability to touch a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.
What to do with those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - it is a charge of unnecessary positive emotions. Therefore, just follow the example of your offenders: try to distance yourself from such individuals, constantly tell them something offensive and unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit for you.
Transfer to another
If circumstances are such that you have to constantly communicate with a rude and irritable boss, try to predict his reaction and avoid dangerous situations. If this does not work out, silently imagine that instead of you he is throwing thunder and lightning at someone else who is temporarily in your place: for example, at your nasty neighbor in the stairwell. When the anger subsides, the boss himself will be ashamed of his behavior and will be especially attentive to you. In addition, people who can be yelled at without consequences are usually highly valued in the team and any concessions are made to them - after all, they are so rare! Take comfort in this thought if you cannot change your boss.
Full control
Here is the golden rule that you should always remember. If you want to understand how to become emotionless, you need to take control of all your emotions. How exactly to do this? There is no exact algorithm here. Just a few tips.
First, choose a profession that forces you to suppress your emotions. For example, a doctor. There they will be able to teach you some things that will help bring our today's idea to life.
Various psychological courses and trainings are also a good way to control emotions. They are called “Emotions under control.” True, they teach more to restrain negativity. But similar principles can be interpreted for positive feelings.
In the end, try to keep everything good inside yourself and suppress it. Think: “Everything is bad.” And repeat this to yourself constantly. Even if everything is just great. Sooner or later you will notice how you have learned to control your emotions. In this case, all that remains is to always maintain a stony, emotionless face when communicating.
This is all. Just before you become cruel and insensitive, think carefully about whether you really need it. It will be more difficult to regain your emotions. Pain is always easier to endure than to drown out.
Is it possible to kill your emotions?
You can learn to successfully control, that is, suppress the external manifestation of your feelings and emotions. However, passions will always boil in your soul, you will feel mentally exhausted, trying to look like a pragmatic, rational and detached person in the eyes of your environment.
What are the reasons for your decision? Why do you want this so badly?
- Some people are naturally gifted with the quality of self-control. They are good at getting rid of feelings and emotions almost forever. Undoubtedly, in some situations it is very useful, for example, when meeting new people, while taking an exam, on a first date. About a person who has excellent control over his emotional state, others say that he is strong, strong-willed and successful. However, if you want to achieve success and change the opinions of others about your person, it is not at all necessary to kill your emotions. If the absence of emotions was a guarantee of success, this quality would be cultivated in us from birth. We advise you to engage in self-development, broaden your horizons, get to know yourself and improve your character traits. In this case, success will not take long to arrive.
- Most often, people who want to get rid of feelings for a certain person want to know how to kill emotions in themselves. Having experienced a love drama, a painful separation or betrayal of loved ones, at first a person wants to erase from his memory all the good and bad that happened to him. Any sensory experience, even if it was negative, develops our personality. Unpleasant emotions are forgotten over time, but the experience remains. In such cases, only time and acceptance of life with all its good and bad events will help you.
- There are situations in which feelings and emotions could prevent you from making the right decision or choosing the desired behavior strategy. This is also part of your life - you learn from mistakes. It may be advisable to keep a diary in which you write down your character traits and situations in which you show excessive emotionality. Re-read this diary from time to time, analyze in which direction you should develop as a person. You can turn every shortcoming into a virtue if you regularly work on yourself.
- Some people have a mentality that involves violent emotional reactions to various events. Both the person himself and the people around him, friends, parents, loved ones, suffer from excessive emotionality. In such cases, the desire to control your emotions is quite logical and justified, but in everything you need to know when to stop. Suppressed feelings do not go away; they remain in your soul and accumulate in it, leaving an imprint on your character traits and personality as a whole.