How to increase male self-esteem? 8 tips for women | Psychology of life

Most likely, it will not be a secret to you that usually self-confident men are much more successful in all areas of life than those who were unable to overcome some fears and complexes. If you belong to the second type, then you should not think that everything is lost - you may well gain self-confidence and set off to conquer cherished heights.

What is self-esteem and what does it affect?

Self-esteem is very important in the life of any of us. It helps to build relationships between people in the family and society, achieve goals in study, work, creativity, achieve financial well-being, and satisfy physical and spiritual needs. A person’s understanding of his individuality and value when interacting with others, a sober look at his personal qualities, strengths and weaknesses - this is self-esteem.

What does it give:

feeling of security:
a person feels confident and independent of other people’s opinions;
freedom of action:
a person can perform actions based on personal choice;
opportunity for self-improvement:
to achieve success in life you need to constantly develop, you cannot stop there.

Self-esteem often depends on life situations and the opinions of others: most people care what friends, colleagues, neighbors and relatives think about them. Although ideally this important criterion should be formed solely on the basis of personal judgments about oneself.

Psychologists divide self-esteem into types (adequate, distorted and mixed) and levels (normal, low, high). Experts call the ability to most accurately assess one’s personal qualities, abilities and shortcomings adequate or ideal self-esteem, but, alas, it is in short supply. More common is low (leads to excessive anxiety, self-criticism, complexes and passivity) or high (prevents you from taking criticism sensibly, making reasonable compromises, and can lead to a loss of caution and other mistakes).

Psychologists note that low self-esteem is more common. It prevents a person from realizing their potential, demonstrating their abilities and talents, and in advanced cases leads to the development of an inferiority complex.

Adequate self-perception is to accept and love yourself as you are: with all the quirks and quirks. There are no ideal people; everyone has flaws. The main thing is not to get hung up on them, correct them if possible, but put your virtues first and believe in your strengths.

Experts in the field of psychology have identified an interesting pattern: most often for communication we choose people who are successful and self-sufficient. These are the people most of us prefer to deal with in business, friendship and marriage. But an insecure man is not the best option for a close relationship.

Success Diary

A success diary is one of the psychological tools for increasing self-esteem and self-affirmation. In it, a person writes down all his achievements, even the smallest ones. Experts say that human memory is not capable of retaining positive information for a long time. The diary helps you remember your victories, relive pleasant feelings and pride.

The diary operates according to the rule of the three Ps: gradually, consistently, constantly. It is impossible to immediately realize the volume of positive changes, but in small grains an interesting picture emerges.

Benefits of a success diary:

Self-esteem and motivation increase.
Reboot, rethinking of values.
Erasing negative feelings, being positive.

Important to remember! Even the smallest achievement makes a person better.

How low self-esteem manifests itself in men

Perhaps the role of self-esteem in the lives of representatives of the stronger sex is exaggerated, and indecision is a trifle for them? And the question “how to increase a man’s self-esteem and confidence” is not relevant? Not at all. The inability to perceive yourself adequately can ruin your career and poison your personal life. Anyone who always considers himself a failure eventually becomes one: due to constant fear and indecision, he is simply unable to achieve success. Having experienced defeat, he immediately gives up and does not think of making at least one more attempt. It is difficult for such a person to change his life for the better.

At the same time, a man with low self-esteem is unlikely to admit his problem. Rather, he will mask it with arrogance, or even aggression. With such a “cargo” it is not easy to establish both professional and personal relationships. The only way out is to take others like yourself as partners. But this is a bad option for starting a family. You shouldn’t expect indecisive parents to raise children with a healthy sense of self-esteem.

You can “identify” an insecure man even by his appearance: he is unkempt and neglected. However, the opposite option cannot be ruled out: low self-esteem can be hidden in an elaborate appearance. Those who care more about the opinions of others than their own self-esteem find it difficult to get along with friends and colleagues. Quarrels and complaints are also inevitable in the family. People with low self-esteem are offended by others because of their bad luck.

Men who do not believe in their own strengths often make mistakes in choosing life guidelines and easily succumb to pressure. In addition, they quickly acquire bad habits.

It is a mistake to think that indecisiveness manifested in one area will not affect other aspects of life. If, say, an influential boss has difficulty communicating with women or has complexes because of his appearance, this nuance will most likely be reflected in business relationships: he may become familiar with his female colleagues or, on the contrary, humiliate them, tyrannize them with excessive demands .

How to develop your masculine core

So, what qualities can be characterized as the inner male core?

First of all, we are talking about a clearly structured system of one’s own life priorities. It is also important to distinguish between what is important to you and what is not. A man with an inner core is consistent in his thoughts and actions. He does not depend on other people's opinions and assessments.

How to achieve this

Determine your main life goals, to which other things in your life will be subordinated. Choose your own mission, which will give direction to the development of your inner core.
Give a significant place in your life to self-development, remembering that there are no obstacles to this goal, but only excuses. Decide for yourself what exactly you want to learn and take action.
Devote more time to gaining new knowledge, reading, and acquiring practical skills. It is important to constantly learn something in order to develop and move forward.
Don’t be afraid to gain your own life experience - this is the foundation for your development.
Only a man can have an inner core, but not a boy. That is why leave all childhood grievances and complaints in the past, stop blaming your family for today’s and past failures, and start building your own life.

Reasons for low self-esteem in men

Many factors influence men's self-esteem. It is quite difficult to figure out why it is so low on your own; it is advisable to take professional help from a psychologist. He will give special recommendations on how a man can love himself and increase his self-esteem.

Often the roots of the problem of self-doubt lie in childhood; they are associated with mistakes in upbringing. If a child is subject to exorbitant demands, often criticized and compared with friends or classmates, citing their successes as an example, he will always lack self-confidence. By doing this to their son, parents form a loser complex in him from a young age, which will bring a lot of trouble in adulthood.

Low self-esteem in men can occur due to:

dissatisfaction with appearance;
presence of physical disabilities or diseases;
sexual problems: insufficient erection, decreased sexual function, partner dissatisfaction, etc.

The question of how to increase a man’s self-esteem after a divorce is especially relevant. Self-esteem can also suffer in cases where a man sets too high a bar for himself in business, in achieving financial success, in personal relationships, but cannot approach the given level. As a result, he feels disappointed both in life and in himself.

Even more about the motivation of men's actions here:

Influence of the immediate environment

Our immediate environment determines our worldview, influences our character and attitude towards life. If in a person’s social circle there are people who are narrow-minded, scandalous, and prone to addictions, no good will happen. Gradually this way of life will become familiar.

Another case is manipulators, people with inflated self-esteem who consider themselves better than others. They are capable of destroying the self-esteem of a normal person and convincing him of his own inadequacy.

Communication with inert people who are accustomed to going with the flow has a bad effect on personal development. They gradually degrade without even noticing it.

Important! A person must constantly develop, become better, only then will he feel fulfilled and happy.

You need to surround yourself with active, purposeful optimists, adhere to a healthy lifestyle, and raise your authority and social status.

How can a woman improve her man's low self-esteem?

Do you want to feel comfortable next to a man? Make him feel strong, needed, confident. There are several ways for a woman to increase a man's self-esteem.

Accept your chosen one for who he is.

The main condition for a man’s adequate self-esteem is the confidence that his beloved will always accept him without condemnation or reproach. Not in an emphatic and forced way, as if you have to endure someone as you are, but loving them completely: both with a “bullet” in your head and with a complex character. Men have the right to weaknesses and shortcomings. You just need to remember this.

Don't let him doubt your love.

Have you heard that men are like children? Although they don’t show it, they really need constant love and affection. Try whenever possible to show how you value your union, how you value feelings. A man in society is assigned an unenviable role: to constantly win the sympathy of the weaker sex. And when he is pushed away simply because he is in a bad mood, he may mistake it for a breakup and feel terribly unhappy.

Admire the man.

Anyone can criticize, but what's the point? Constant comments do not inspire confidence in anyone. But praise is a completely different matter. Find a reason to admire it and admire it! Aloud.

Let him be silent when he wants it.

Men are not always ready to talk about their love. Do not “knock out” a narrowed confession - this way you show your distrust and deprive him of self-confidence.

Do you want to know how to increase a man’s self-esteem both at 30 and after 40? Remember the rules:

do not speak disparagingly about him in conversation with others;
do not compare him with more successful acquaintances;
praise always and everywhere, criticize extremely carefully;
celebrate his slightest achievement, if not with applause, then with a kiss;
smile at him every time you meet, be gentle;
surround him with coziness and comfort;
don’t take scattered socks as an insult, it’s better to accept it;
Don’t forget that men and women are aliens from different planets; they perceive space, time, and logic differently.

See about the influence of women on men:

Advice from psychologists

Psychologists say that it is not possible to change self-esteem quickly. This is a long process that requires patience and self-improvement. You can raise your self-esteem and determine the nature of your problems at special trainings or at an appointment with a psychologist.

There is an interesting test that is used in group classes: each participant names the quality that he wants to get rid of. The rest of the players choose from the list the quality they want to possess. In the end, it turns out that a person does not have bad qualities, but only a wrong attitude towards them.

Several ways to increase self-esteem as recommended by psychologists:

Be simple and confident in communication.
Express your opinion, despite the awkwardness.
Autotraining is the constant repetition of affirming phrases: “I can do it!”, “I can do it!”.

A good way to increase self-esteem and set goals in life. It will help to create a collage with your photo in the center, your main advantages and desires. On the other hand, negative factors affecting the quality of life are identified. Every day, while looking through the collage, you need to strive to reduce the number of negative pictures.

Low self-esteem is a consequence of psychological trauma received in childhood, failures and defeats throughout life. It is necessary to get rid of the uncertainty and indecision that prevent you from achieving success, to love yourself and your sweet weaknesses, and to constantly develop.

Literature on psychology

Three books that will help you turn your mind around and start moving forward, raising your self-esteem and changing your life for a better, confident future.

"How to become confident" . Author Pierre Frank. After reading this book, you will learn to love your flaws, and several techniques will show you how to live happier. The author writes that you need to increase your self-esteem by allocating just 6 minutes a day.
"100 ways to change your life" . Author Larisa Parfentyeva. Motivates you to change your life, not be afraid of mistakes, find ways to change for the better and strengthen your self-esteem.
“How not to turn your life into a nightmare . Author. Rafael Santadreu. One of the most famous psychological bestsellers is practical exercises from a psychotherapist to restore personal respect, get rid of the panic of loneliness, without delaying until next Monday.