13 revelations about why men cheat on their wives but don’t leave

Why does a husband cheat but love his wife? In family life, no one is immune from a partner’s betrayal. If it so happens that a loved one has been caught in carnal infidelity, then in an instant the life of the deceived wife begins to collapse. But at the same time, thoughts are swarming in my head: why do men cheat on their wives, even if they love them? To find the answer to such a serious psychological question, it is necessary to deeply analyze a number of factors.

As family practice shows, a key role in a husband’s fornication can be played by:

• Biological program, since males are mostly polygamous;
• A pronounced temperament of a person who cannot tolerate intimate monotony;
• The desire for endless sexual adventures or “collecting” bed victories;
• Increased physiological need, which manifests itself in a large number of sexual contacts;
• Constant problems in the family, from which you want to run away and relax in such a thoughtless way;
• Incomplete satisfaction of erotic fantasies with the wife;
• The onset of the so-called midlife crisis. What pushes one to self-affirmation in the manner of “I’m still fit as a man!”;
• Being in a state of banal alcoholic intoxication;
• Having enough free time outside the home. For example, frequent business trips;
• Complexes/mental traumas left over from the past or early youth.

The wife deprives her husband of a sense of fulfillment and self-sufficiency

In our society, many men do not feel self-sufficient always and everywhere.
At the beginning of a family relationship, the husband’s inner emptiness is covered by his wife. They think they will love each other forever.

For him, a wife is a woman who will always be with him.

Now he feels self-sufficient and safe.

In your family, you yourself can deprive each other of what you then begin to look for in other people:

• A wife may begin to deprive her husband of a sense of self-sufficiency and confidence during frequent scandals, domestic problems or misunderstandings. This happens when spouses have been together for a very long time.
• Time passes, the wife no longer gives the love that she gave before. And the husband looks for her in the arms of his mistress.
• The wife no longer gives this feeling of fullness and harmony , the husband begins to look for this feeling on the side.

If all this exactly happens in your relationship, then that is why a married man will have a mistress.

This is a problem not only for the wife, but also for the husband. He had to increase his level of awareness, work on himself and be self-sufficient on his own, without relying on external factors.

The husband cheated, but says that he loves him - he’s lying (first story).

Quite often in recent days I began to think, is my husband faithful to me at all? Some calls are too suspicious, he takes the phone and runs to another room or toilet, is afraid to talk in front of me, blushes - clearly something is wrong! Previously, I could leave my social network account open, but now it turns out that I have changed the password. I feel like I'm hiding a lot. But I was lucky, I brought him to clean water. One day he forgot to leave contact and I discovered a three-month correspondence with a girl 14 years younger than me. When I'm on the night shift, he rocks it with her. As it turned out, this girl was far from his first; the others left him on their own, apparently realizing what kind of dog he was. He works as a carpenter, I am a manager in a cafe, I do everything for him (I do the housework, I cook, I do the laundry...), sometimes I even buy more gifts than he does, but that doesn’t bother me.

I saw a lot, I’m no longer a girl, so I decided to talk to him calmly without any clarification. He says he loves. But can a loving husband cheat ? This has become very strange, do loving men even cheat? Help me decide, please!

- For the entire period of marriage, you played the role of a mother for your husband, so he got used to you and treats you accordingly. Third-party relationships will not lead to anything good, either she will leave him too, or she will try to win him back, but since he is with you to this day, he is unlikely to leave, since he has settled too comfortably. It’s up to you to decide what to do, but you should understand that these “partyings” will not stop or something serious should affect him, for example, children or a new job, where they will demand an order of magnitude more from him.

He found a lover who is just cool to be with

With his wife, the husband often does not feel cool. With my wife it’s a family, it’s love, an idyll and children.

And there is another girl who is cool!

Let's explore in more detail the question of why men have mistresses and the psychology of their thinking, why they secretly spend time with them:

1. The mistress helps her husband mentally escape from family and everyday problems.
2. He has a mistress with whom he wants intimacy and who turns him on very much.
3. He gets himself a girl who delights him.
4. A mistress gives those new emotions and sensations that a wife does not give.
5. He can talk about things with this new woman that he can never talk to with his wife.

Love helps us accept our partner's shortcomings

It is worth noting separately that the vision of love, its sensation, the period of falling in love, and the experience of difficulties in relationships are radically different for women and men. Women are emotional, sensual creatures, and with this they decorate the logical and simple world of men, giving bright shades to the black and white background. It’s difficult for us to be together, but without each other we also wouldn’t be able to live fully.

Love is a feeling that unites a man and a woman, contributing to changes in the natures of partners. In this article I want to talk about exactly this - about our differences in love, without knowing which even the strongest and most powerful feeling can disappear irrevocably.

The husband is polygamous and previously lived in an open relationship

On the topic of what his psychology is and why men cheat on girls, it would be correct to mention the following facts:

• Your spouse cannot immediately suppress his instincts , if previously he gave them complete freedom. He can't stop looking at other women anymore.
• No matter how much you feed the wolf, it still looks into the forest.
• If a man is an alpha male in life, a hunter and a lover , then it will be difficult for him to suppress this in himself.
• The guy wants to live according to his intentions and desires , but he cannot do this openly and cheats.

Therefore, he secretly makes cool mistresses, with whom it is cool and with whom he can temporarily forget about family life and all the problems that arise from it.

Attitudes towards betrayal vary

Couples who have reached a certain level of development of their relationships and feelings in order to tie the knot, start living together, and produce offspring, gradually get used to each other. Love is still present in the relationship, but it is no longer passionate and bright, as at the time of falling in love. It becomes something familiar, ordinary. Partners devote less and less time to pleasant little things, signs of attention, and foreplay during sex. Courtship is no longer dizzying and taken for granted, negative traits are smoothed out and covered by positive ones.

The spouse does not try to look attractive and beautiful at home, allowing her to spend the weekend in an elongated T-shirt and with unwashed hair, and the husband does not rack his brains over how to arrange a surprise for his beloved’s birthday or relationship anniversary - after all, you can simply present a classic bouquet of flowers and a box sweets Sex no longer brings as much pleasure as before, and is more out of habit than for joy and physical expression of one’s passionate feelings.

The habit and everyday life of relationships often pushes men to look for something new and bright. They want to feel like hunters again.

Each person is individual in his own way, each has his own character traits. Some men can afford to occasionally cheat on their spouse, without making this fact public and imagining it as a small adventure. Others will blame themselves for not being able to control their carnal desires and live their lives thinking about their weakness.

One man, if there is a possibility of betrayal, will restrain himself, will not allow his beloved to cheat, and in the future he may blame himself for weakness in the face of the opportunity to have fun, and will often remember the missed opportunity. Another, without remorse, is able to forget about the vows and promises that he once made to his wife before the altar, fall in love with another woman and leave his family to start all over again.

Even the strongest and most ardent feelings have no guarantee of fidelity in the future.

Women, thanks to their innate intuition, sense a change in the emotional background in the family and the likelihood of their partner’s betrayal. It often happens that wives simply throw out their jealousy on their husbands, without thinking about the real fact of betrayal, about the reasons for the change in the man’s attitude towards her.

She gives all her time to the child

If a child appears in your family, then the mother will spend a lot of time only with him at first.

How does a baby affect your sex life?:

• These are constant screams at night that will not allow you to rest together.
• This is caring for the baby, diapering, breastfeeding.
• A woman after childbirth cannot make love.
• Sometimes, when the baby sucks milk from the mother, some women find breastfeeding a lot of pleasure. And the wife no longer wants to spend time in bed with her husband.

Hence, as a rule, life in bed in your family fades into the background.

The husband finds no other way out than to extinguish his passion together with his mistress.

In this case, the psychology is that husbands cheat on their wives and want more at night, but they do not want to leave their family and child.

Everything is bad in bed, dissatisfaction

Some women are not yet fully aware of their femininity and attractiveness.

Your marital games in bed may not satisfy your partner.

Not all women are skilled in bed for the following reasons::

• The wife is very young and not so experienced .
• Some girls are very uptight and do not know how to express their passion and love at night.
• Lack of education and limitations in knowledge.
• Not all wives want to accept their men's fantasies . A man by nature loves to make his extreme fantasies come true. Some people completely refuse to experiment.

If a man has tried this and that, but it doesn’t change or add variety in bed, out of desperation he may find himself a mistress.

Or even just find a walking girl for one night.

After all, if a wife is very bad in bed , a man can find a girl who is simply better in many ways.

The husband can find that girl on the side who makes him just blow his mind in bed. He will secretly admire her and not tell you.

About a different smell

Not all men know that the wife always recognizes the smell of another woman . Even if her husband took a shower or put on perfume, she intuitively understands and feels everything. The man suspects nothing, but the woman digs into her head and keeps wondering: “Why do guys cheat on their girls?”

And the husband may still naively believe that everything is under control and he is in control of the situation. He does not even suspect that his wife recognized the smell of another.

Do loving men cheat?

During our constant practice, we had the opportunity to encounter the most unusual cases where wives were at a loss as to how a husband could walk to the left and immediately confess his high feelings. Can a man cheat while loving his wife ? Many people have different opinions, but no one has come to the only correct decision. Some condemn spouses, writing them down as “goats,” while others consider this the norm of life in the 21st century. Who is right? To find out, let’s try to break down love into types:

• Pragma (Pragmatism in a person’s character does not immediately force one to give in to passion, but only after carefully weighing and analyzing everything. After a long examination of the future partner, a decision is made to continue or “jump off”; it develops slowly, but becomes indestructible for many years);
• Agape (Almost divine love, since even betrayal can be forgiven, not to mention other sins. Giving all of oneself to a loved one, giving warmth, comfort, without asking for anything in return. This love is called “in spite of”, it is found in only 7% of the world’s population);
• Storge (No matter what happens, the lover is always there, will protect, will take care of him - akin to parental (maternal and paternal) love. Feelings do not light up at once, they develop gradually, but after that they become the strongest);
• Mania (Passion is born during exalted attention to a beloved person, if attention, gifts, romantic dates stop, the feeling burns out, the opponent loses his craving for the courting party, and therefore the union ceases to exist);
• Ludus (Lack of constant attachment to one person, because of this, third-party connections are considered an absolutely normal phenomenon, causing mental pain does not affect his conscience in any way.) (example: My husband is cheating with his ex. What to do?);
• Eros (Lights up, goes out. Love at once, possible even without recognizing the name.).

True types of love:

• Agape;
• Pragma;
• Storge.

High-frequency divorces occur if carriers of these types of love choose carriers of Mania, Eros and Ludus as husbands. What causes more psychological discomfort is the fact that it is the ladies who find themselves in confusion when men do not experience pangs of conscience. Can a man love and cheat ? It turns out, yes, if he feels one way for his wife, and another for his mistress.

Because of the perception “You can change as long as no one finds out”

Because of television and the mass media, the idea that married men are obliged to cheat is implanted in the brain of a young man from birth.

Guys cheat, even though they love their girlfriend, because for them it is considered the norm and a common occurrence, as if in the order of things.

In some families, wives directly make it clear to their partner: “ If you are cheating on me, do it so that I don’t find out .”

They actually voice it and say it, and the spouse remembers and draws conclusions.

Of course, later the wife will regret what she said if the betrayal comes to light.

Lack of attention4

When a woman does not find time for her husband because of children, career, or household chores, he feels unimportant and unnecessary, and for a man this is one of the most important needs in life.

Often during pregnancy, a woman begins to prepare for motherhood and is busy only with thoughts about the unborn child, proper nutrition, taking vitamins, restrictions, and forgets about her man. A man cannot understand the reasons for the detachment, since, according to biological laws, he is not able to feel affection before meeting the child. Sometimes sex is limited due to the pregnancy itself for medical reasons or the erroneous belief that such a pleasant activity is dangerous. The man has no choice but to find release elsewhere.

To create jealousy or for revenge

Some men are very jealous. They may be motivated by selfish motives for cheating.

That is, even because of a simple feeling of envy or a feeling of inferiority, the husband wants to make his wife jealous.

Another reason could be that the wife spent time with the wrong people or cheated on him at some point.

Then the man will want to fill the hole in his self-esteem and stroke his pride on the side, taking revenge on his wife.

For example, he sees his wife communicating and flirting with other men at some holiday.

Her husband is often jealous of all men in a row.

He remembers all this and is looking for a mistress so that now they will be jealous of him .

Midlife crisis 2

For almost all men, this period is accompanied by a tireless desire to prove to everyone and to themselves that they are still capable of much. Often a person has devoted his whole life to work, family, and now there is a feeling that something is missing. Instead of dealing with his problems of unfulfillment and fulfilling his desires, he uses the easiest way to increase self-esteem and raise his emotional level - an affair. A relationship with a younger girl can cheer him up, but only temporarily.

Male patriarchy

Subconsciously, a man has this belief: “ I can do this with whoever I want, but a girl can’t .” Maybe for girls this will be a shocking answer to the question of why men cheat. But this is how our society works.

That is, in this case, the husband puts his interests above his wife and allows himself to go to the left.

The man thinks that he has some privileges because of the patriarchy in the family.

Also, the reason for the betrayal may be that in childhood the husband’s father also cheated on his wife.

Now an adult repeats the mistakes of his parents.

Selfish motives

The desire to prove to myself and friends “what a cool lover I am”

The reasons for a husband’s infidelity may be the following selfish motives:

1. Stretch your ego, feel superior . Read more about ego and selfishness in detail on the next page at the link.
2. Satisfy your libido.
3. From early childhood there was a lack of female attention. And now, when the man learned that attention could always be had, all he had to do was do something, the man ventures into the unknown.
4. Because of the desire to assert himself in front of his friends , to gain their approval, so that they would tell him: “Wow! Probably fried?! Wow, man!
5. He wants to prove to himself that he is capable of possessing other women. After all, this had never been possible for him before.
6. My husband's friends are bachelors and they always have something to tell about their adventures. The husband also decided that it was time to show off something and went to the left. That is, the reason is to brag to friends.

The woman stopped caring and taking care of herself

Because the husband has already conquered his wife and won her heart. Now there is no one to conquer.

The wife relaxes, and this is what happens to her:

1. Years later, the wife stops watching her figure; she is already satisfied with her fat belly.
2. Now she doesn't dress as nicely as before, she wears a kitchen robe and has curlers in her hair.
3. The sparkle in her eyes, zest and femininity disappeared.
4. A woman is no longer attractive.

If all this happens, then it is not surprising that the hot beauty from work replaced the wife in bed.

Of course, a woman does not have to always be beautiful, but she must be conscious and confident, radiate love.

We describe in more detail how a woman can become more confident in herself in the next publication.

Test. Love scale.

We talked about whether loving men cheat. Do you want to know how much you care about your husband? We have prepared a test with which you can find out. To ensure accurate results, ask your husband to give truthful answers. You can pass it on his behalf.

1. She (he) is a very smart person.

2. Of course, she (he) is the most charming of all.

3. I think I can trust her (him) with absolutely everything.

4. If I’m sad or have problems, then I’m ready to share them only with her (him).

5. For her (him) sake I will go to the ends of the earth.

6. I am pleased to feel that she (he) trusts me more than others.

7. I feel responsible for her (his) psychological comfort.

8. I think that she (he) treats me well.

9. I would like to be like her (him).

10. I can’t imagine how I used to live without her (him).

11. I can say with confidence about our internal similarity.

12. I can confidently say that she (he) belongs only to me.

13. In most cases, she (he) finds contact with people immediately and everyone likes her.

14. When we are together, our mood is the same.

If you have any questions, you can write them in the comments. We wish you all the best!

Subscribe to receive new published articles on the site directly to your email. We guarantee no spam!

By alcoholic accident

There is one expression that sounds like “saw the night, walked all night until the morning.”

And if men walked all night until the morning with alcohol and surrounded by beautiful women , then a drunk husband by the end of the evening may forget about his wife.

After all, there is an appetizing beauty sitting on it and there is plenty of alcohol around. Then the man cheats because the male gaze sees only girls with a good figure next to him, who also don’t breathe very smoothly towards him.

Because of alcohol, he forgets about the one and only.

He no longer has much control over his speech and actions.

Cheating occurs unconsciously.

This happens both in clubs and at noisy parties, holidays and other drunken places.

Video from the guru

The following video examines the dilemma of why a husband cheats and does not leave the family and his wife. In his opinion, this is due to a lack of love. Learn about all the pitfalls in this video.

What is a relationship between a guy and a girl without quarrels in complete mutual understanding and trust, how to solve grinding - in a new article.

What kind of women do Scorpio men like - complete and detailed revelations from Scorpios.

Video lessons on how to properly tongue kiss a girl and a guy - step-by-step and cool instructions.

Why doesn’t the husband say anything and stay in the family?

Let’s close once and for all the question of why men cheat on their wives but don’t leave them. The most common reasons are the following:

1. He doesn't need all this fuss about dividing property.
2. He doesn't want to pay child support all his life if he has a child.
3. He doesn't want to go to court and fill out all this paperwork.
4. He doesn’t want to disrupt the family idyll.
5. The husband wants the child to grow up with his father.
6. He doesn't need quarrels and scandals.
7. He has a family home where there is security, harmony, food and sleep. Why break it?
8. It’s so good and cool for him when he can sleep with two girls.
9. He is satisfied with the current state of affairs.