How to become cold-blooded and indifferent, and is it necessary?


Indifference is the absence of reaction, purpose, desire to act .

This state of mind is characterized by pronounced apathy and inertia.

Indifference is synonymous with indifference, melancholy and apathy and characterizes the degree of mental activity, which in this case is minimal . An indifferent person can be in this state in relation to some specific objects or phenomena or to a group of them.

Selective indifference is effectively used as a way of protecting against negative emotions or influences. Widespread indifference is a more formidable symptom of possible mental disorders.

This condition can manifest itself in different areas of human life. The emotional reaction is sharply reduced. Losing interest in something means indifference to it.

For example, to a hobby or type of professional activity. At the same time, the person does not experience any emotions about the previously interested object. This is the most important distinguishing feature of this condition.

Indifference is also characterized as being indifferent to people and being cool about their problems or dire situations.

Remaining indifferent to the sight of others suffering means indifference in the soul or an attempt to distance yourself from what is happening .

True indifference penetrates deeply into consciousness; a person does not worry about this under any circumstances.

This condition is often a person’s own and conscious choice in favor of saving nerves, strength, and time. Indifference helps the individual to use available resources economically.

Why does a woman want to lose interest in a man?

Relationships often bring pain and disappointment. Then you want to quickly get out of the problematic union, to cool off towards the man for whom you still have feelings. There may be several reasons for this desire:

  1. The person has not experienced warm feelings for a long time, has left your family with him or is just about to do so. You love him, but unrequitedly.
  2. You understand that interest in a relationship comes only from you: you love a man and value your family. He only takes advantage of his position without giving anything in return.
  3. A man wants you to live only by his rules, forgetting about your own interests. For example, he demands that you always be at home and take care of him, and threatens to divorce you for failure to comply. You are tired of being disrespected and are gradually losing yourself.
  4. Your man is overly jealous. You are constantly in nervous tension, tired of scandals and reproaches. To stop this, you should think about how to cool off towards such a man.
  5. There is always a “third wheel” in your family – his mother, whose opinion is above all. You must also follow its rules. In this situation, the best way out would be to leave this inextricable tandem and go in search of a truly independent man.
  6. Your soul mate has a difficult character or, on the contrary, is characterized by weak-willedness and excessive softness. A powerful man wants eternal submission, which no mentally healthy person can endure. The spineless man is looking for a caring mother in a woman who will not mind taking full responsibility for her “son.”
  7. You are a decent woman, faithful to your man and your family with him. He is not distinguished by these qualities and does not consider it necessary to respect you. Then you have probably been tormented for a long time by the question of how to cool off towards the man with whom you are in a relationship. Having fallen out of love with this person, you yourself will be surprised at how his feelings for you will change, perhaps you will even be able to maintain the union.

Who is an indifferent person?

How to understand indifferent and what does not indifferent mean? Indifferent means not interested. That is, significant signs or situations have lost relevance for a given individual for some reason.

All actions regarding this object or phenomenon are no longer considered by the person as worthy of attention . This allows the indifferent to feel a certain degree of freedom. This is the positive aspect of indifference.

This concept also includes inaction in relation to something . This may be a lack of response to an insult (indifference to the offender or the situation in general), or a decrease in attention to the problem or issue.

An indifferent person is unlikely to help in a difficult situation, because he does not consider this important in human relationships.

This method of avoiding responsibility can be effective when dealing with people who are trying to shift the care of themselves onto the shoulders of others.

Indifference manifests itself in the form of insensitivity to people's problems .

This allows the individual to avoid these problems and the difficulties associated with them.

Often, expressed indifference extends to other aspects of a person’s activity: his motor skills, range of interests and people.

The movements of indifferent people gradually become slow and unhurried, and the circle of interests and communication gradually narrows.

Not indifferent means exactly the opposite. Such a person is active in relation to the subject that interests him and actively manifests himself in relation to it. He is concerned about the state of an object or situation, as well as measures to influence them.

A caring person is characterized by a certain set of emotional or affective characteristics. Such an individual reacts vividly with facial expressions and gestures to everything that happens to the object of interest, even if he tries to hide this interest. Thus, indifference can be ostentatious and obvious.

The ostentatious option is used as a deceptive maneuver. Then actions or deeds that speak more than appearance or words can convince of caring.

A caring person is usually attentive to others and their problems , and shows concern for them despite personal inconveniences.

Full control

Here is the golden rule that you should always remember. If you want to understand how to become emotionless, you need to take control of all your emotions. How exactly to do this? There is no exact algorithm here. Just a few tips.

First, choose a profession that forces you to suppress your emotions. For example, a doctor. There they will be able to teach you some things that will help bring our today's idea to life.

Various psychological courses and trainings are also a good way to control emotions. They are called “Emotions under control.” True, they teach more to restrain negativity. But similar principles can be interpreted for positive feelings.

In the end, try to keep everything good inside yourself and suppress it. Think: “Everything is bad.” And repeat this to yourself constantly. Even if everything is just great. Sooner or later you will notice how you have learned to control your emotions. In this case, all that remains is to always maintain a stony, emotionless face when communicating.

This is all. Just before you become cruel and insensitive, think carefully about whether you really need it. It will be more difficult to regain your emotions. Pain is always easier to endure than to drown out.


Return to suffering The first rule that can help is to return to your suffering. Every person has some memories that bring pain or great resentment. These are the ones you will have to turn to in your subconscious every time you are overcome with positive emotions. It usually becomes very painful to experience negative moments at first. But at one point this feeling disappears. And you stop caring. Once you achieve this, it will be easier to solve the problem. Try to remember all the negative events at once, en masse.

Only then can you fully answer how to become insensitive. Yes, it may seem impossible, but with continued practice, you will notice clear changes in your behavior. Lack of attention The second rule is not to pay attention to anything. Neither for people, nor for any events. Forget about holidays, about relatives, about friends. Sometimes it is enough to fail to congratulate someone on their birthday once for you to be considered cold-blooded. Yes, it will be difficult at the very beginning. Especially when your favorite holiday comes or some bright, joyful, emotional event occurs. But you should not just ignore it, but meet it with complete indifference. Until you learn this, you will not become an insensitive person. After all, such people usually rarely show their emotions. Most often, their faces show complete indifference to everything. Let's say “no” to help. A very interesting fact - refusing to help someone instantly makes you a cruel, bad person. Even if you really are simply unable to help or refuse for some specific, justified reasons. This means that in order to figure out how to become an insensitive creature, you just need to not help people. That is, in general. Absolutely. Even in small things. Remember: helping is very unprofitable. Especially close people. They often demand things from you that will cause you harm. In addition, practical help awakens positive emotions. this is of no use to you. After all, the main task facing you is to completely get rid of emotions. Please note that you must always refuse. And even if help is vital. Initially this will not be easy. But over time you will get used to it. By the way, very often such a step makes life much easier. You will not do anything to the detriment of yourself. Mirroring Are you often offended? Or maybe you are simply succumbing to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage...and mirror your behavior. Don't be afraid to touch the nerves of your offenders. However, like all other people. What does it mean? Treat your offenders the same way they treat you. It doesn’t matter who it is - a relative or just a friend/acquaintance. Take people who hurt you as an example. They are usually just perfect role models. After all, the ability to touch a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person. What to do with those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - it is a charge of unnecessary positive emotions. Therefore, just follow the example of your offenders: try to distance yourself from such individuals, constantly tell them something offensive and unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit for you. Full control Here is the golden rule that you should always remember. If you want to understand how to become emotionless, you need to take control of all your emotions. How exactly to do this? There is no exact algorithm here. Just a few tips.


Does a person need to be cruel? Everyone has their own opinion on this matter. It is clear that none of us wants to see cruel people around us, whom we are rightfully afraid of, or at least afraid of. We are much more comfortable being around harmless, compliant, kind and sympathetic people who would not cause you any fear. This desire is understandable, it meets our needs for security. But let's think about it - how safe is it to be an overly kind, sympathetic, soft, compliant and absolutely harmless person in this world? Or at least seem like it? Perhaps not the best option for us. At least we don't always have to be like that. Because such a person will be offended by many, used and self-affirmed at his expense. But tough and, even more so, cruel people, as a rule, are feared, and therefore respected, and therefore taken into account. The world is often cruel and merciless to those who do not understand its laws. And in order not to become its victim, you also need to be able to be cruel. Therefore, in this article we will talk to you about how to develop toughness in yourself, exactly as much as is necessary in order to stand up for yourself and defend your interests in this life.

At one time I worked as a criminal psychologist and dealt with very cruel people, or rather, with the actions that they committed.

o allowed me to look at the world from the dark side, so to speak. And I realized that the world can be very cruel, especially to weak people. And since the world can be cruel, then the person in it should also be cruel - when necessary. Cruelty is considered a sign of weakness and cowardice, but let's think harder - is this really so? Does a cruel person who knows how to subjugate the will of other people seem weak? Is he like that? As a rule, no. Although, due to weakness and fear, a person can indeed commit cruel acts to intimidate other people, thus suppressing his fear at the expense of their fear, but even in this case, thanks to his aggressive actions, a person achieves results, and does not remain inactive and does not run away from danger. Therefore, a person needs cruelty, especially in situations where a person’s life depends on its presence or absence. He needs to be cruel in order to resist cruelty, for I have never seen a case in my life when cruelty and violence were successfully opposed by kindness. I do not take the story of Mahatma Gandhi as an example, because I do not consider his philosophy of nonviolence to be nonviolent. But that’s not what we’re talking about now. If you found this article, it means that you have already become acquainted with life - with that side of it that does not pat you on the head, but stings very strongly and painfully. Therefore, why should you become cruel, you yourself know very well. I just want to say that we develop cruelty in ourselves not in order to use it to commit violence against other people, but in order to protect ourselves from this violence.

So, in order to become a cruel person, dear friends, you first need to reconsider your entire worldview. Kindness and cruelty are two sides of the same coin. You must understand and accept this, and stop considering cruelty as something that should not exist in our lives. Therefore, to be cruel, you need to become practical. What does it mean? This means that moral standards should be perceived by you only from the point of view of your interests. Simply put, you need to be kind when it benefits you. And when it is not beneficial for you, forget about kindness, decency, honor, honesty, and so on. Cruelty, as I became convinced by studying its origins, is, first of all, cold-blooded practicality, in which a person can step over anyone, for the sake of himself and his interests. Therefore, the development of cruelty requires a person to develop composure and indifference to other people, in which a person is able to control his emotions. There is no need to be a rabid sadist, a wild psychopath who terrifies people. Although this is also a manifestation of cruelty. But with an animal character you will not get far, you will either be put in a cage, more balanced, but no less strong people, or other wild psychopaths will kill you. It is better to be a cold-blooded and calculating cynic, quietly and effectively removing everyone who blocks it from his path. Such a person is cruel mainly due to his prudence and the absence of any moral brakes.

neither bad nor good, he lives the way it suits him to live. To become such a person, it is necessary, as I already said, to completely reconsider your worldview, and make for yourself the norm of what you now regard with fear and hatred. We must accept cruel and immoral actions into our inner world, understanding their meaning. You should never judge other people and their actions for anything - you should just try to understand what you are afraid of and what you hate. Forget that there is anything good or bad in this world - try to see the meaning in everything, even in the most wild and immoral actions of people. And of course, look for your own benefit in everything. The one who invented this world and you and me knew what he was doing. He created us as we should be, at least in this world.

Whether we like it or not, cruelty and violence have been, are and will be a part of our lives. Now I will not tell you about the reasons for cruelty, because this is not what interests us now, but rather let you understand what thoughts flow through the head of a cruel person who controls his thoughts and actions. Having passed these thoughts through your head and developed them, you will feel how you become cruel, but at the same time, quite a social person. The logic here is very simple - a person is a predator who sees, or at least should see, prey in all living things on this planet, including other people. I don’t know if you have noticed how many people, depending on their capabilities, can harm each other, hurt each other, try to humiliate, insult, suppress each other, and so on. So, the question arises, where does all this come from in a person? Why can we be so bad and dangerous to each other? The answer is simple - we are predators. We've been hunting each other our entire history. Look how many wars there have been in the history of mankind, look at how many and how cruelly people can destroy each other. People cannot live without violence, although they try. Therefore, we need laws, and severe punishment for breaking them, and similar things. Many people cannot be human without a stick, they cannot. From this it follows that in order to become a cruel person, you need to become a hunter, a predator. One must be able to use violence against others when required. You need to look for a victim and come up with ways to catch and defeat him. It’s written in your blood—these thoughts wander through your head, but you don’t hear them. But a cruel person hears these thoughts and uses them in his life. If you live by the principle - I don’t touch anyone and don’t let anyone touch me, then this means that you are a victim, not a predator. Sooner or later you will be eaten if you do not change your attitude towards life. You need to start living in a new way - you need to start looking for those who can be touched and touching them. That is, you need to start learning to hunt those whose interests run counter to your interests, and those at the expense of whom you can achieve some success in life. Do you understand me? Unfortunately, I cannot tell you in this article about all those methods of cultivating a hunter, a predator, that I know and that some members of our society use to achieve their goals. Well, this information is not for the general reader, sorry. In a personal consultation, I can share with you more subtle methods of working on yourself in this direction, but here not everyone will understand me. Not all people know life from all its sides, so they can be traumatized by talking about things for which they are not ready. So it is better to talk about some things only with those who can understand them.

But you and I still must take into account the fact that people’s cruelty is an integral part of their lives, so we need not to fence ourselves off from it, but learn to live with it and show it as necessary. And therefore, the last way to become cruel, which I want to tell you about in this article, dear friends, is very simple - take the example of those who act cruelly, but not wildly, but rather cynically and effectively, achieving their goals with the help of cruelty. Study the behavior of these people, try to understand its origins, its meaning, characteristics, goals. And then, think about what actions you can use to adopt this behavior and reproduce it in situations where you need it. You can, say, not help people when you don’t need it, it’s not profitable and it’s disgusting, right? You can also learn to mercilessly destroy your enemies in a variety of ways, using all the means available to you. You just need to abandon the patterned behavior that you are now unconsciously adhering to, and begin to form a new, more correct pattern, by imitating those who behave more practically.

Cruelty requires from a person not only a certain understanding of life, but also determination. You need to start choosing the behavior model you need. Once upon a time you learned from someone to be a non-cruel person, right? Someone, by example, showed you how to and how not to act in this life, someone made you the way you are now, instilling in you certain attitudes? Well, now learn from other people how to be cruel - take an example from those who, you think, understand life better than you. Study the behavior and thinking of these people - learn to look at the world through their eyes. And then you too will become a cruel person - justifiably cruel.

Also keep in mind that an abusive person can beat other people in a variety of ways. For him, the end always justifies any means. Among the various ways to achieve goals, a special place is occupied by the ability to manipulate people, thanks to which many insidious rulers came to power and established their own strict and even cruel laws and rules for everyone. Manipulation is the most powerful weapon in the hands of any person. This is a weapon of both local and mass destruction. If you are a physically and mentally weak person, if you need a strong weapon to protect yourself and defend your interests, then you need to learn how to manipulate people - this skill will give you great power. Good manipulators are able to outplay, outwit, and ultimately defeat anyone. Master the skills of manipulating people and they will help you cope with any enemies, rivals, competitors.

Friends, do not forget that we develop cruelty in ourselves not in order to purposefully harm other people, but in order to prevent them from harming us. And also so that they do not interfere with us achieving our goals and do not get in our way. When nothing else helps in such cases, you can resort to competent cruelty.


Why is indifference dangerous?

Lack of emotional response to what is happening and ignoring other people's troubles can lead to social isolation .

Indifference often becomes a stumbling block for loved ones as part of a lack of understanding of the difficulties of one person by another.

Indifference at the same time gives a person an imaginary feeling of abstraction from these problems and allows him to enjoy only pleasant things.

This quality can be regarded as a manifestation of emotional rudeness . This sounds especially harsh towards women.

It is assumed that the female sex has a great capacity for empathy and compassion , however, in conditions of an indifferent attitude, such a girl can be perceived as dry and insensitive.

In addition, indifference does not allow you to enjoy life in all its colors.

By getting involved in some process to which a person becomes partial, he acquires new life experience and knowledge , and also exchanges them with other individuals. Indifference makes the process of accumulating such information impossible.

This condition also leads to a decline in moral standards in society . The lack of reaction to shocking events makes them closer to the norm, and over time even transforms them into the category of habitual.

For example, the lack of response to the prevalence of gadgets among schoolchildren encourages further use of phones and tablets instead of face-to-face communication.

has a particularly negative impact on the upbringing of children.

Indifference encourages others to take harsh and atypical actions , which can cause conflict.

For example, in a company of friends, people are indifferent to the manifestation of cruelty of one of them towards animals.

In the future, this can lead to the formation of sadistic tendencies in a person and even to their implementation.


Are you often bullied? Or maybe you are simply succumbing to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage...and mirror your behavior. Don't be afraid to touch the nerves of your offenders. However, like all other people.

What does it mean? Treat your offenders the same way they treat you. It doesn’t matter who it is - a relative or just a friend/acquaintance. Take people who hurt you as an example. They are usually just perfect role models. After all, the ability to touch a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.

What to do with those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - it is a charge of unnecessary positive emotions. Therefore, just follow the example of your offenders: try to distance yourself from such individuals, constantly tell them something offensive and unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit for you.


An indifferent attitude towards people creates many problems. The first of them is the elementary loss of loved ones and friends when their needs are ignored. Indifference makes a person cold and calculating, which is not conducive to the development of friendly relationships.

Within the framework of insensitivity to other people's troubles, this state gives the right to other people in the future to ignore the difficulties of a person who was previously indifferent to them.

Also, this process forces a person to lower his moral and ethical qualifications , reducing his critical attitude towards immoral and wrong actions.

Within the framework of professional activity, indifference can become a reason for rapid emotional professional burnout.

Some professions are directly related to a person’s ability to empathize, for example, a doctor or a teacher.

An indifferent attitude towards your work and the people who come will quickly turn a professional into an amateur with a low professional rating.

An indifferent attitude towards children can lead to serious conflicts subsequently between parents and children.

Also, such a permissive attitude contributes to defects in the upbringing and development of the child.

We attract health - the philosophy of a don’t care

  • The truth - laughter prolongs life is known even to children. Positive thoughts can work wonders. The scheme is simple.

  • the attitude “everything is bad, depression, stress, inaction, negative thinking” with “positive, constructive, decisive, result-oriented .
  • The attitude – “noodles from packets, a joke with him, with caries, and eight hours of sleep is a luxury” – is changed to “healthy eating, good sleep, timely treatment.”

You can’t buy health – it’s not for nothing that they say so. And all great earnings are dust compared to health and its role in life. First we work to spend money on pleasure. Having earned money, we understand that these pleasures are already contraindicated for us due to health reasons. Only by really working on yourself can you achieve results.

Advice from psychologists: how to become indifferent?

How to become a more cold-blooded and indifferent person?

To all

First of all, you need to decide what you need it for .

If the goal truly deserves desensitization, then change should be made.

We need to remind ourselves of the benefits of an indifferent attitude towards many unimportant aspects.

This is expressed in a reduced reaction to minor quarrels and misunderstandings. However, you should not go too far and cultivate an indifferent attitude towards loved ones.

To create such a state, you need to downplay the significance of the exciting object, and give as few of its positive characteristics as possible.

You need to remember this for yourself and repeat it regularly. To make it easier to get used to this idea at first, you should try to remove the exciting subject away . Then you should focus your attention on its negative aspects.

You can even write them down on paper to visualize your approach. You can then begin searching for an alternative or switching target.

Everything is simple here: if a girl is on a diet, then it is better for her to buy a variety of low-calorie foods that will supplant her addiction to unhealthy but tasty food. This attitude needs to be formed for yourself on an ongoing basis.

Lack of attention

The second rule is not to pay attention to anything. Neither for people, nor for any events. Forget about holidays, about relatives, about friends. Sometimes it is enough to fail to congratulate someone on their birthday once for you to be considered cold-blooded.

Yes, it will be difficult at the very beginning. Especially when your favorite holiday comes or some bright, joyful, emotional event occurs. But you should not just ignore it, but meet it with complete indifference. Until you learn this, you will not become an insensitive person. After all, such people usually rarely show their emotions. Most often, their faces show complete indifference to everything.

Cultivate selfishness

An insensitive person should not care about anything. Stop paying attention to the events that happen in the lives of friends and loved ones, stop taking part in improving their personal lives, and so on. Again, this is none of your business. In the end, you will be indifferent to everything, you will develop an egoist in yourself, the world will revolve only around you.

It will be difficult at first, but conscience and shame will quickly leave you. Do only what benefits you, make contacts only if you need them, look down on people and go over their heads. Nothing should stop you from achieving your goal. Especially if it’s someone else’s problem. This doesn't concern you.


Part 1

Control of nonverbal behavior

    Relax your eyes and mouth.

    Oddly enough, it is the eyes and mouth that are capable of expressing many emotions. Therefore, it is so important to monitor their condition all the time. The best way to do this is to work on keeping them expressionless. A “blank” face is a type of expression that people use to keep others at a distance. This facial expression can be seen in almost any crowded elevator. Roughly speaking, this is something like a “do not disturb” sign.

  • Take a moment to consciously relax your facial muscles. You'll be surprised how tense they can be, even when you're not expressing any emotion.
  • Poker players are very skilled at making this emotionless face (poker face). Therefore, it is worth learning from them the ability not to show excitement and nervousness.
  • Don't avoid eye contact. Trying to avoid eye contact can be seen as an emotional reaction. Just look at the person the same way you would look at a chair or a wall.
  • Watch your movements.

    Even subtle, unnoticeable gestures can carry emotion, even if we don't always do them on purpose. This is usually the hardest part of appearing emotionless. No matter how hard you try, very often small gestures and details give us away, by which we can judge how we feel.

    Take a neutral, emotionless pose.

    The way you stand or sit should not reveal your emotions.

  • Don't cross your arms. This pose looks defensive. Your arms should be at your sides in a relaxed state.
  • Sit back in your chair. A relaxed posture without any tension is the best way to show how emotionless you are. In addition, this position helps to create a certain distance between you and those present in the room. Leaning forward a little will make you seem overly excited and impatient.

Part 2

Emotionless communication

  1. Speak logically.

    Channel your inner Spock (the Star Trek character known for his level-headed, logical thinking) and try having a conversation that doesn't tell you exactly what you're feeling. For example, if you are having dinner with someone and they ask your opinion of a burger, say that the burger is medium rare and a little spicy. Needless to say, the burger is simply incredibly tasty and satisfying, even if it really is. Just state the facts.

    • If you are asked how you are feeling (or asked another question that cannot be answered with simple facts), it is best to avoid answering by asking a counter question. You can also answer in general terms or give an ambiguous answer.
  2. Watch your tone of voice.

    Raising your voice can be a sign that you are nervous or agitated. If you lower your voice and speak slowly, you will appear unsure and upset. Therefore, try to talk as if you were reading the instructions out loud.

    Do not use emotional words in your speech.

    In fact, many words express emotions. Some of them do this openly and obviously, but many words express hidden feelings. Of course, it's completely understandable that you shouldn't directly say that you're upset or happy, but you also shouldn't say that you're confident, calm, or indecisive. Because these words also carry a lot of information about your emotional state.

    • Don't use adjectives to describe words that express your feelings. Don't say the movie was "incredible" or "romantic." It's better to say that the film was "full of action" or "drama."

Part 3

Control your emotions

  1. Don't spend too much time with emotional people.

    Overly emotional people drag you into their dramatic lives, which makes it very difficult to remain unemotional later. Of course, there is no need to completely stop communicating with expressive people, but it is worth limiting it a little.

    • If you happen to meet an emotional friend somewhere outside the home, come up with some excuse in advance that will help you say goodbye quickly and politely. Just tell your friend that you need to return the DVDs (or make up something like that).
  2. Learn to accept the inevitable.

    The ability to not let circumstances worry you plays a big role in unemotional behavior. Once you realize that you simply physically cannot change most events and things in your life, they will stop bothering you so much. If you stop trying to control everything that happens around you, it will be much easier for you to accept the fact that things don't always turn out the way we expect.

Toward your loved one. Control yourself. Find an object to which you can switch your consciousness. For example, as soon as you find yourself thinking about the object of your love, force yourself to think about your vacation or the style of your new dress.

Protect yourself from watching romantic films and reading sentimental literature for a while. Instead, choose action and detective films. You will monitor the development of events and be distracted from gloomy thoughts and experiences. Also, don't look at shared photos. The time will come when you will be able to look at them without sadness, but for now it is better not to do this.

Immerse yourself in your work. Ask management to give you a new project and dive into it. There will simply be no time left to think about your loved ones. In addition, this method can improve your financial situation and help you gain additional experience and career growth. Also, changing jobs may help you. In a new place you will learn something again, make new friends and acquaintances.

Think about what loving this person

. Consider all the benefits that a hopeless relationship or an unrequited feeling can give you. When you see with a sober look that there are many more disadvantages, it will be easier for you to cope with falling in love.

Limit communication with your loved one. Do not call or write to him unless there is an urgent objective need. Try not to date him. At first, it is better for you not to visit mutual friends if there is a possibility that the culprit of your suffering will appear there.

Set yourself a goal. Think about what you want to achieve in life. Understand that unhappy love is not all that you have and can have in life. Start achieving success in other areas.

There are situations when a girl begins to regret breaking up with her boyfriend and, for various reasons, wants him back. But quite a lot of time has passed, and feelings for him have cooled. If you think it's really important to you, you can try to love your ex again.


Remember all the positive moments that happened in your life while you were dating this young man. Try to remember the day you first met, his first gift, your first kiss and a romantic night together. All this will help you take your mind off the events that are happening to you at the moment, and again feel close to the man you once loved.

Think about why you fell in love with this guy before. Remember his positive character traits, how he looked after you. You can compare him with other men with whom you are communicating at the moment. You'll likely find that it looks much better in your eyes.

Try to forgive all the insults that your ex-boyfriend caused you. All this is in the past, and if you want to start a new life with him, you need to think only about the present and the future. In addition, most likely, the guy has also already realized his mistakes and has now become a completely different person.

Invite the young man to meet. Take a date to one of the places you've loved to go to before. Remember together what interesting and memorable things happened to you. Ask the guy about his life, find out what his hobbies, plans, etc. are now. If you think about him more often and become interested in what is happening in his life, gradually your feelings may return and even become stronger than before.

Don't rush into a relationship and don't be upset if, despite your best efforts, you still can't fall in love with him again. Love is difficult to induce using artificial methods; sometimes you just need to calm down and wait a little. Spend more time together, communicate and help each other. If you do everything right, avoid conflicts and quarrels, one day you will experience that same cherished feeling for your ex.

Before you stop loving a person, you need to understand whether there really was love for him. People often confuse infatuation, love and affection, although these are completely different types of feelings. After all, it may well turn out that there was no love as such, and the feelings were only projected.

An outlet for anger

Constantly “hiding” grievances within oneself can produce the most destructive effect on the body. Therefore, choose a different tactic - try to discharge yourself. Anything that helps relieve stress and relax is suitable for this: go to the gym, sauna, take a contrast shower. You can even break dishes or beat a pillow.

Expert opinion.

After analyzing Goleman's work, psychology experts determined that the effectiveness of management activities depends 85% on EQ and only 15% on IQ. By developing emotional competence, a leader can view his own emotionality and his subordinates as a resource that can be used to increase productivity.

It is necessary to understand that EQ is not literally related to the emotionality that everyone is accustomed to. When defining it, the phrase “emotional intelligence” is inseparable. For example, an overly temperamental person may have a low EQ, while calm and outwardly unemotional people tend to have a high EQ.

When assessing emotional intelligence, the following are taken into account:

  • the ability to immerse oneself in one’s own emotions, feel them, live them;
  • the ability to rationally analyze one’s feelings and make decisions based on logic.

A person with developed EQ is able to maintain a balance between feelings and logic. In a critical situation, they do not give in to anger, despair, despondency, irritability, but know how to pull themselves together and make a decision or produce a result.

According to Salovey and Mayer, intelligence and emotions cannot be opposed, as many are accustomed to doing, they are closely intertwined, and a person’s success not only in business, but also in the interpersonal sphere depends on their correct interaction.

Learn to say "NO"

How often do people ask you for help? How often do you answer “No”? Perhaps you are one of those people who, at the first request, will drop everything they are doing and will solve the problems of colleagues, acquaintances, and friends? Then everything is bad. You urgently need to change your life!

Learn to say “No” if it is not beneficial for you. Learn to refuse, even if the person really needs help. After all, it's not your problem, right?

But there is one more point to consider. Suppose you did help the person, what next? Perhaps you will experience strong positive emotions from the fact that you did a good deed and helped a person. But do you need it? After all, it is possible that feelings will cause attachment to a person, or the person will be very attached to you. Such “joy” is of no use to a cold-blooded person. Mind your own business, and if it is not beneficial to you personally, always refuse help.

But do you need it?

But think carefully, do you need it? Is the game worth the candle? Perhaps you were offended, touched to the quick, or acted wrongly? But is it worth becoming insensitive just because of this? We often think about this when we feel bad. But when we really feel good, no one thinks about how to get rid of the feelings that overwhelm us? No one is trying to suppress pleasant memories, is they?

Perhaps it is better to just reconcile and forgive your offenders. Time cures. Look at everything differently, from the best side. Look how much good there is around, how many good, pleasant people, how many opportunities to change your life. Don't go to extremes right away.

From birth it is inherent in us to express our emotions and feelings, however, under the influence of certain circumstances, some people want to give up this and become insensitive. Below you can find out how to become a cold person.

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