How to Deal with Loneliness: Everything You Need to Know

A woman who does not have a man and is tired of being alone cannot, a priori, feel happy. A good job, excellent relationships with relatives and having a large number of friends do not help her. An internal feeling of loneliness upsets the nervous system, prevents you from fully enjoying life, and provokes melancholy and even depression. Experienced specialists will help the fair sex understand the causes of loneliness and give recommendations on how to get rid of this condition.

Understanding Loneliness: What is Loneliness?

Loneliness is a long-term feeling of social or emotional isolation in which a person feels separated or separated from others.

They feel that it is extremely difficult for them to communicate with their peers in anything beyond a superficial level, and they become tired of trying.

These feelings are usually accompanied by self-loathing, low self-esteem and self-confidence, and general inadequacy.

Persistent or chronic loneliness can affect anyone, even the most outgoing and extroverted.

Loneliness is a deeply internal conflict that can last for years in a person, and no one around him notices it.

A person suffering from extreme or chronic loneliness will experience negative effects in all areas of their life.

Symptoms of Loneliness

If you think you or someone you love is suffering from loneliness or extreme loneliness, pay attention to the following symptoms.

Remember: loneliness affects us all differently, and some people may experience different variations of similar symptoms.

• Weak ties:
  A person experiencing loneliness is unable to connect with others beyond a superficial level. In many cases, lonely people have friends or family, which makes it appear that they have a normal social life and emotional well-being, but their interactions with the people in their lives do not seem fulfilling or meaningful.
• No Best Friends:
  All of a lonely person's friends are random or just passing by. They don't have regular close friends with whom they can really communicate. A lonely person feels like there is no one in his life who “understands” him.
• Social exhaustion:
  Any type of social activity is physically and mentally draining for a person who is lonely. Even when they sincerely try to take part in social activities - even something as simple as just going out for drinks or lunch with friends - they find it difficult to enjoy social activities because they feel so tired.
• Overwhelming isolation:
  No matter how many people are physically around a lonely person, they experience an overwhelming feeling of isolation. It's as if they're trapped in a bubble and interacting with the world through a filter that makes everything feel heavier and slower.
• Physical Effects:
  Due to all the other symptoms of loneliness, a lonely person usually experiences physical side effects such as insomnia, poor diet, weight gain, weakened immune system and general malaise.

Find yourself

A lonely person first needs to find himself, not friends. A normal individual at any age is surrounded by people. A person communicates better with some people and worse with others. But she is never alone. If a person feels inferior, do not blame others. Think about your own worldview. How can a woman get rid of the feeling of loneliness? A lady must understand what her values ​​and dreams are. A woman needs to understand her soul and realize what she strives for and what she wants to achieve. Some ladies want to start a family, while for others it is important to build a good career. So think about your priorities. Your opinion should not be influenced by the advice of others. Life is yours, and therefore you have to live it. Think about what you want, and then try to realize your dreams and achieve heights in your chosen area of ​​life. Do you want to start a family? So, look for the right man. Do you want to realize yourself in creativity? This means you take your hobby more seriously.

How loneliness affects the mind and body

Some people believe that loneliness is purely an emotional reaction, but chronic loneliness can seriously affect a person's mental and physical health.

Increased anxiety and stress caused by loneliness cause the body to increase cortisol levels, which leads to a variety of physical and mental problems.

Some of these problems include:

What makes a person lonely? Three Factors of Loneliness

In one study of loneliness, researchers wanted to isolate the biological and psychological factors that predispose a person to experience greater loneliness.

A 2008 study found that lonely people typically experience a combination of three "loneliness factors." These factors include:

• Level of vulnerability to social exclusion:
  Each of us needs social inclusion, and the intensity of this need depends on our genetics. The stronger a person's need for social integration, the more vulnerable he is to feelings of loneliness.
• The ability to self-regulate emotions associated with feelings of isolation
  : We all have our own mental ability to “wash away” our emotions and states of mind, so some of us can process negative emotions more effectively than others. If you have a weak ability to self-regulate the emotions of loneliness, this can lead to chronic loneliness over time.
• Mental representations and expectations of others, and reasoning about them
  : Some people have a harder time understanding the reactions and expectations of others. Lonely people have a hard time believing they fit in with a group, causing them to perceive their social skills as lacking.

Raise your self-esteem

A person who is used to always complaining about others and about troubles and who has an overly withdrawn character will be lonely. Insecure people always doubt the correctness of their choice, so in the end they are left alone. Take a closer look at those individuals who complain about boredom and dull everyday life. They are all pessimistic, want nothing and do nothing to improve their existence. But it’s easy to get rid of the feeling of loneliness and melancholy. You just need to slightly adjust your character and attitude towards this world. Go to the mirror and think about who you see there. A person whose millions of copies roam this world? You need to understand that in the reflection a unique person, one of a kind, is smiling at you. Love yourself and know your strengths. Write down on a piece of paper all your character strengths, as well as the achievements you have made since birth. Re-read the impressive list and make sure that you are a good person who has already achieved a lot by this point. Start working on yourself and asserting yourself. After all, if you don’t love yourself, then why should others do it?

Social loneliness and emotional loneliness

Recent research in social psychiatry and psychiatric epidemiology

a glimpse into how we understand loneliness.

The article attempted to challenge the idea that loneliness is a feeling; rather, it states that loneliness is an umbrella of different feelings and can be depicted along two axes: emotional loneliness and social loneliness.

• Social loneliness:
  When a person is dissatisfied with the number of social relationships they have, they experience social loneliness. A person with high levels of social loneliness believes that they have very few friends and, therefore, very few people who truly care about them.
• Emotional loneliness:
  When a person is dissatisfied with the state of his social relationships, he experiences emotional loneliness. A person with high emotional loneliness believes that they are disconnected from social networks. They feel isolated even in close quarters.

Looking at the two axes of social loneliness and emotional loneliness, researchers believe that a lonely person may fall into one of four different quadrants of loneliness: low loneliness (low feelings both socially and emotionally); social loneliness, emotional loneliness, and social and emotional loneliness (high feelings both socially and emotionally).

Where to find your loved one

“I’m tired of loneliness, I want love.” If this issue has become a problem, it is recommended to go in search of your soulmate. Absolutely different places are suitable for this, even the most unexpected ones. Sometimes you can meet your lover right on the street or while going on important business, but this is just a matter of chance. If you do this purposefully, you should listen to the advice of experts:

• girls under thirty should start their search from elite restaurants or clubs, private parties or exhibitions. Guys often visit branded clothing and accessories stores;
• for representatives of the fair sex who are over thirty years old, it makes sense to go to a cozy cafe, park, embankment, or library;
• Ladies over forty need to spend more time in clubs of similar interests, go on vacation to sanatoriums, and use dating sites.

Social networks and dating sites today have become one of the most popular places for connecting two halves. They are universal because they are suitable for ladies of any age and social status.

You're lonely?

Communication and social interaction seem easier than ever—with just a few taps on your smartphone, you can instantly connect with any friend, family, or other loved one.

But in recent years there has been a huge surge in loneliness, to the point that many psychologists call it a modern loneliness epidemic.

Over the past few decades, loneliness has doubled in many developed countries, such as the United States.

Nearly half of all people feel lonely or isolated, and around one in four respondents feel that there is no one in their life who understands them.

Attend social events

Where do you feel connected with people? At events that are created for people to meet and communicate. How not to be lonely? It's very simple, attend social events. Exhibition openings, concerts, charity evenings, parties and presentations of fashion houses are events where people come to see others and show themselves off. If you want to make new and interesting acquaintances, then you need to boldly go to some social event. Such meetings usually take place in beautiful places, where you are offered to taste delicious dishes and enjoy great music. You can get all this completely free of charge if you arrange to receive an invitation in advance.

People most at risk of loneliness

So, who are the people most at risk of loneliness?

Loneliness can be experienced by anyone, but there are certain common situations that can trigger the onset (or recurrence) of loneliness. These include :

• Finding yourself in a new situation, such as a new city, work or school, surrounded by unfamiliar people.
• The loss of another person's "silent presence" when you no longer have someone with whom you can communicate passively and quietly.
• Seeing yourself as different from others in many ways, such as religion, sexual orientation, or political beliefs.
• Loss of trust in those closest to you, leaving you feeling hopeless and isolated, with no one to turn to
• The realization that you lack an intimate partner with whom you can share your most private moments, or that your current partner no longer fulfills this need
• Believe that none of your "friends" actually want to get closer to you because they often don't have the time to invest in further activities to get closer to you

Use the time to pamper yourself

If you've exhausted your to-do list or just don't feel like doing anything, then you might also consider using your alone time to pamper yourself. There are many different ways to have a pleasant and lazy time, and most importantly - with benefit: - Take a hot bath, adding foam, rose petals or a bath bomb, grabbing a glass of sparkling wine;

— Make face masks, scrubs or any other skincare treatments;

Facial cleansing at home: how to carry out the procedure without harm - Try to do new bright makeup; — Experiment with outfits from your wardrobe; -Dance in front of the mirror; - You can just take a nap; — Meditation is a great way to calm your mind and get in touch with your inner self. Try starting with a short meditation and progress to meditating for longer periods of time.

Unexpected reasons for loneliness

Loneliness isn't always what people think it is. There's a reason why most people who suffer from loneliness live with it for years without their closest friends or family even realizing it.

Loneliness can exist in the most surprising of people for unexpected reasons. Here are some illogical reasons for loneliness:

1) Be extroverted:

There are many extroverts who are lonely, and these are the types who feel isolated in a crowded room. They yearn for deeper connections but fail and return to their superficial and short-term relationships.

2) Male and single:

one study found that women are less likely to be lonely because they have stronger and broader networks to rely on. In contrast, single men are the most vulnerable to loneliness and typically have few or no close friends to turn to.

3) Personality

Type A
: Type A personalities
are people who are more impatient, competitive, ambitious and hot-tempered, and their response to stress is usually more neurotic and frantic. The study found that Type A individuals have more difficulty in relationships and connecting with others, making them more prone to loneliness.

4) Addiction

from Social Media: One of the biggest causes of loneliness these days is overuse of social media. Social media can make people feel like everyone around them is living a perfect life full of social activity, leading to feelings of self-doubt, inadequacy and, of course, loneliness.

5) Chronic illness:

Chronic illness can not only harm your physical health, but it also increases your chances of long-term loneliness. Researchers have found that people have a harder time maintaining a positive outlook with chronic illness, especially in older age, and fall into a spiral of loneliness as they age.

Changes in appearance

If a girl is tired of being alone, experienced specialists will tell you what to do. Among them will be not only psychologists, but also stylists. Any master in the beauty industry can share the experience of his clients who find their personal happiness after correcting their appearance. This does not have to be a radical change of image (although this method gives stunning results); you can limit yourself to only a small correction that will hide flaws and demonstrate the advantages of your appearance. It should be remembered that men do not like the following characteristics:

• completeness. A plump girl may have many admirers, but an overweight lady most often has none. Women need to remember this in order to limit their diet in time and visit gyms more often;
• thinness. A slender girl will always be an object of admiration for young people, which cannot be said about a woman suffering from anorexia. The family provides for the presence of children with a healthy mother who is able to give birth and raise them. But if the weight is too low, the woman’s health will not allow her to have children (men try to avoid communicating with such ladies);
• untidiness. If a woman is tired of being alone, she should always be well-groomed, since only a neat appearance can attract the attention of the stronger sex. Cleanly washed hair, neat hairstyle, manicure and pedicure, discreet makeup, new clothes and clean shoes automatically makes a woman a beauty.
• ugly teeth. It is necessary to constantly visit the dentist and take care of your dental health, since only white, beautiful teeth can make a smile dazzling and radiant (and this is a necessary condition for making an impression when meeting your future lover).

How to deal with loneliness

While understanding the causes and types of loneliness is half the battle, the other half is being able to actively combat it.

But before you actively fight loneliness (or the loneliness of someone close to you), you must remember three important points:

• Most of us go through periods of loneliness:
  loneliness can make you feel like your situation is unique and no one can understand how you feel. But in fact, it’s just the opposite: loneliness is a sense of community. One study found that only 22% of respondents had never felt lonely. This means that almost 80% of people (or 4 out of 5) have experienced a feeling similar to your loneliness.
• Each of us deals with loneliness differently, and
  it can be easy to become frustrated by reading advice on how to cope with loneliness that doesn't actually work for you or those around you. You may give up, believing that no solution will help you. But everyone copes with loneliness in their own way; a solution that works for one person may not work for you. Try your best to understand your mind and your needs and work to meet them.
• Loneliness is a long-term battle:
  Some of us are simply naturally predisposed to feeling lonely more than others. This means that for some people, loneliness will be a problem they face throughout their lives. Don't be discouraged if loneliness returns - accept it and accept it as part of who you are and learn to overcome it every time.

Now that you understand loneliness, here are ways you can help yourself and others who are lonely:

Errors in behavior

When a woman comes to the conclusion: “I’m just tired of constant loneliness,” she needs to try to change something in her life. First of all, it is necessary to eliminate what may prevent you from meeting your soulmate. After analyzing your habits, it is recommended to exclude the following aspects:

• lack of education, primitive thinking. A woman should always work on her self-education and self-improvement. A man who wants to connect his life with her will not tolerate an illiterate girl who does not have a basic set of knowledge next to her. A short communication will be enough for the guy to decide not to communicate with her anymore;
• demonstration of intelligence. Overly smart, well-read women who try to “show off their knowledge” at the first opportunity have never been liked by men. Especially if the lady does this with disdainful importance or tries to reproach her companion for his lack of education. A girl needs to be modest in this regard, even if she is the winner of many intellectual quizzes;
• riotous behavior. The woman is tired of being alone, because she spends all her free time in entertainment establishments, which has nothing to do with the desire to create a healthy, full-fledged family. A man is always looking for a companion who will bear him children and devote a sufficient amount of time to his loved ones. Not everyone will agree to deal with a frivolous lady;
• bad habits. Representatives of the stronger sex dream of seeing a gentle, feminine girl next to them. If a lady constantly smells of smoke (or, worse, alcohol), none of the men will approve of this;
• obsession. A representative of the fair sex who does not know her worth cannot claim the mutual love of her partner. Constant importunity, persecution, declarations of love and control will only cause a negative reaction in a guy. You shouldn’t bore a man with your presence and create a situation where he dreams of quickly getting rid of his obsessive companion.