From this article you will learn:
- How to recognize cheating
- What are the signs of an unfaithful partner?
- What changes in bed when a man cheats
- What to do if your loved one cheats
Reasons for male infidelity
In order to understand why men cheat on their wives, find out the reasons that pushed them to such an act:
- Psychological tendency to cheat. There are men (popularly called womanizers) who cannot imagine their life with one woman. This is not just male natural polygamy, but the result of upbringing. It can even be argued that the concept “a real man has many women” is taught to a boy by his parents, then it turns into a way of life. Paradoxically, some women support this point of view.
- The desire to receive pleasure. Every person strives to get pleasure, but everyone has their own idea of it, and the ways to achieve pleasure are also different. Most often, satisfaction is obtained taking into account the interests and needs of the people around him, but a selfish person puts his needs above all else. An egoistic husband is not interested in the problems and suffering of loved ones - he wants to have fun, and he gets it.
- The desire for variety in sexual life. This desire is common to both women and men. Another thing is how this desire is translated into reality: some are content with fantasies and watching relevant videos, others make changes to the intimate life of the family, and still others change partners.
- Feeling of dissatisfaction. To some extent, this reason is related to the previous one - a man is not satisfied with the quality of his sexual life with his wife (monotony, without imagination, not as often as he wants, and so on).
- Lack of emotional intimacy. Not the most common reason for male infidelity, since men rarely experience discomfort from the lack of spiritual harmony in the family.
- The desire for self-affirmation is driven by complex and insecure men who try to add importance to themselves through sexual achievements.
- Dissatisfaction with life and the need to improve its quality are a common reason for male infidelity. Often this dissatisfaction has absolutely nothing to do with the family.
- The desire to take revenge on a wife who has in some way insulted or offended her husband (usually they respond to infidelity with infidelity).
- Boredom is also a reason for a man to cheat.
- Weakness and subordinate position in the family pushes the husband to another woman who will see him as a man and a breadwinner.
- Married men after 50 years cheat on their wives to prove their worth and masculinity.
Gray hair in a beard - a demon in a rib
Important! According to statistics, up to 30% of sons repeat their father’s lifestyle: if the father cheated on his mother, then the son is also prone to adultery.
Family upbringing and environment seriously influence a guy’s tendency to cheat.
Is it possible to prevent male infidelity?
In most cases no, unfortunately. An adult is responsible for his own actions and makes his own choices. A wife cannot influence her husband's fidelity or infidelity in any way. If he is looking for adventure, he will look for it in any family; if he is overwhelmed by a midlife crisis and the only way out he has found is an affair, then his wife has nothing to do with it again. And if serious contradictions and disagreements have matured in a couple, then the choice of a responsible partner is to try to resolve them, to improve relationships, for the sake of everything that happened, for the sake of the children, and not hide your head in the sand, looking for dubious consolation in the arms of another.
But here's what a woman can do:
- Initially, understand who exactly you are marrying, be aware of it and take responsibility for your choice.
- Try to solve emerging problems immediately, not allowing contradictions to accumulate to such an extent that the husband begins to commit rash acts, since normal dialogue in a couple is no longer possible.
Features of the first betrayal
Why do women cheat on their husbands - does this happen often, reasons
Men view cheating differently than women. The psychology of a man’s betrayal is such that he does not see betrayal, but only a physical act that does not affect the emotional sphere of the individual. For womanizing men, the first adultery may not have any special features, since polygamy is a familiar way of life for them. In other cases, not every guy can easily decide to cheat, especially out of revenge. He takes a long time to decide why he needs this, weighs all the pros and cons of the action. Added to indecision is the fear of exposure. Spontaneous betrayals under the influence of alcohol, drugs, fun substances or circumstances should be included in a separate group; mental anguish haunts the cheater after the fact.
Important! The first betrayal does not always become the beginning of a wild life.
How does a man feel who cheated on his wife?
Almost always, in addition to retaliatory betrayal or “revenge” for a serious offense, a man will experience a feeling of guilt. As we wrote at the beginning of the article, 78% of men are sure that cheating is bad. Having stepped over oneself and through those attitudes with which we all, one way or another, live, any person feels guilt, shame, devastation and despair. He feels sorry for his wife, he may feel sorry for his mistress, who in most cases is just an object through which he solves some of his personal problems. Cheating is like champagne, at first it’s fun and bubbles, and then it’s sad and gives you a headache. It is these negative feelings that make some men never cheat on their wives again.
Please note: All of the above does not apply to innate Casanovas and Don Juans. Those who have cheated feel a surge of vigor, pleasant satisfaction and a desire to go “hunting” again.
Main features
Yellow color in psychology - what it means for a woman, man, child
A loving or very busy wife does not always find out about her husband’s infidelities. She's usually the last one to discover it. Professional and folk psychologists have identified a number of signs by which one can determine that a husband has begun to violate marital fidelity:
- Suddenly became a workaholic (overtime, frequent business trips, working weekends that never happened before), but there are no additional payments for additional time and responsibilities.
- He takes better care of himself than usual (takes showers more often, chooses his clothes more diligently, bought his own perfume, and so on).
- Suddenly he decides to take up sports, but does not allow his wife to join him.
- Makes changes in intimate life: refuses sex altogether or allows rare mechanical acts, or uses new positions and sex toys without the consent of his wife.
- Casts appraising glances at other women even in the presence of his wife or even “consults” with her.
- Changes the attitude towards his wife: shows increased attentiveness and affection or, conversely, rudeness, pickiness, irritability and rudeness.
- Hides his gaze (relevant only after the first betrayal; men who are womanizers or who cheat regularly do not avoid direct eye contact).
- Doesn’t allow him to touch his mobile phone, changed passwords on his phone, computer, social networks (although he never forbade his wife from using gadgets before), doesn’t allow him to see what he’s doing on the Internet.
Important! All of the listed signs are quite conditional, some of them can be observed in absolutely faithful husbands under certain conditions (for example, they are preparing a surprise for their wife’s birthday together with her best friend, etc.).
Signs of betrayal
You shouldn’t judge infidelity based on just one sign. At the same time, if a wife notices her husband’s affair at the very beginning, she will have a better chance of maintaining a full-fledged marriage.
Actions of the spouse to preserve the home
To save the family, the wife must keep her husband near her. To do this, just listen and follow the most important rule - spouse - 2 in 1. Loving wife, passionate lover.
So that the husband does not change his thoughts, the wife must do everything so that when leaving the house he is completely satisfied. After work he should want to go home, a stormy night awaits him.
A man should fulfill his fantasies with the woman he loves, and not with a stranger. The wife must endure and fulfill the whims in order to keep her husband in the family.
Why doesn't my husband leave after cheating?
Infantility in men - what does it mean, signs and causes
Many sections of society have encountered male infidelity, but not all of them have collapsed. For what reason does the cheating husband do not want or cannot leave the family?
- Psychological and physical comfort (the wife will solve everyday problems and take care of raising children, the mistress will give pleasure and delightful emotions).
- Fear of condemnation from family and friends, fear of losing established social contacts.
- Reluctance to cause harm to children.
- Lack of desire to share acquired material wealth with his wife.
- Unwillingness to live with someone else's woman.
- Lack of a significant emotional connection with your lover and a frivolous attitude towards her.
- Deep affection for his wife.
Important! According to statistics, only 10% of men leave their family for a homewrecker. Then almost half of them return with repentance.
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Psychology of action
The psychological background of infidelity in men and women is very different. If for a woman sex is mental and physical intimacy with a partner, then some men interpret sexual intercourse as the release of excess physiological fluid. That is, a man breaks fidelity only physically, while his soul remains faithful to his wife.
Only changes the body
In addition, in some strata of society, a mistress is a sign of wealth and prestige. Sometimes wives themselves push their husbands towards adultery by denying them sex or emotional intimacy.
Leaving for a mistress or staying with your family is an eternal dilemma
The male psychology of betrayal is understandable, why they don’t leave their significant other after the current situation. If they are better off with their mistress, why continue life with someone who is boring. There are reasons for this:
- Children will have to pay child support and divide jointly acquired property. Eternal red tape with documents, hassle.
- The man believes that children should grow up in a complete family - mom and dad together.
- A representative of the stronger sex is not sure that he wants to spend the rest of his life with another woman. For him, she is just a consolation in bed, a toy. And my wife has already lived a lot, she has been tested by time.
Editor's choice: What questions can you ask a friend: funny, frank, at the first meeting
Do all men cheat?
The hypothesis that all husbands cheat on their wives is widely known in society. Men who are womanizers fully confirm this statement: for them, sex is a form of addiction; no moral laws stop them on the path to their goal. Other men can cheat, but this does not mean that they will definitely do it. According to statistics, up to 75% of men have violated marital fidelity at least once in their lives. The frequency of infidelity is very individual: for some it is enough to have an affair once and then experience moral torment for the rest of their lives, for some they “go on business trips” regularly once every two weeks, for some people even need variety several times a day. There are known facts of so-called “rotation families”, that is, a man lives for a month in one family, for a month in another.
Male stars who were caught cheating
Star status, beautiful life, wealth, a sea of fans corrupt, make temptations accessible. It is difficult for a male to resist when women offer themselves. Show business is constantly shaken by scandalous stories of adultery. The heroes of gossip columns sometimes become men who were considered good family men. A person cannot always control his desires and emotions, and it is even more difficult for creative people to do this. So celebrity wives also have to deal with signs of male infidelity and lies.
- Ethan Hawke
Hawk was married to Uma Thurman and cheated on her mercilessly, and was not picky about his relationships. At different periods of time, his mistresses were a nanny, a model and even, according to rumors, Angelina Jolie. The marriage lasted seven years and broke up, despite the presence of two children.
- Billy Bob Thornton
Laura Dern and Billy Bob Thornton have not spoken for a long time. Laura did not encounter any signs of male infidelity; she learned through the press that Bob was unfaithful to her.
- Jack Nicholson
A brilliant actor on the set, in everyday life, Jack Nicholson turned out to be not the most reliable lover. He dated Anjelica Huston for 17 years, but the couple broke up when information appeared in the media that a completely different woman was pregnant with Jack.
- Ashton Kutcher
Kutcher's chosen one Demi Moore was much older than her lover. Therefore, no one was surprised when Ashton began an affair with young Sarah Lee.
- Larry King
Larry King, a famous American television journalist and presenter, was married 8 times during his 85-year life! And he cheated on his wife Shawn, who is 26 years younger than her husband, with her sister!
- Jude Law
Jude Law and Sienna Miller were a couple for several years and even announced their engagement, but broke up when it became known that Jude had an affair with the nanny of his children from his first marriage. The beautiful Sienna was not alone for long; according to rumors, she was dating Daniel Craig, the courageous agent 007 and the highest paid actor in Hollywood.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger were married for 25 years. In all the years of their marriage, Maria did not notice any signs of male infidelity, so it came as a surprise to her that her husband had a teenage son from the housekeeper. The couple separated, but have not yet officially divorced.
- Jesse James
American TV presenter Jesse James and famous actress Sandra Bullock were married for five years. The union broke up when in 2010 it became clear that Jesse had repeatedly cheated on his wife, including with porn actresses. James confirmed the fact of infidelity and made a public apology to Sandra, but she still filed for divorce.
- Woody Allen
The breakdown of the relationship between Mia Farrow and Woody Allen was accompanied by a loud scandal. The fact is that Woody started an affair with Furrow's 21-year-old adopted daughter. By the way, the story ended well for the eminent director: he and his new lover are happily married and raising two adopted children.
- Brad Pitt
Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have long been considered the most beautiful and strong couple in Hollywood, until the actor met the fatal Angelina Jolie on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Although there were no signs of male infidelity, Jennifer and Brad broke up, after which the actor began dating Jolie.
Thank you for reading this article to the end.
Hello, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relationships and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls meet worthy soul mates, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.
More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.
My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!
Can a husband stop cheating?
Women who are faced with their husband’s betrayal are interested in the question: “Can a man change and become a faithful family man?” Much depends on the reason for the betrayal, the character of the man, the reaction of the wife and many other factors. In the case where the husband belongs to the category of womanizers, then infidelities will be regularly repeated, despite the sworn assurances and promises of the spouse. If a man is not enough of a wife, and he feels the need not for another, but for a second woman, then the search for a “second” will continue endlessly.
Womanizers are incorrigible
In the case of spontaneous violation of marital fidelity, there may be 2 scenarios:
- The man realizes the immorality of his act and will be an exemplary family man, experiencing moral torment for betrayal;
- A husband may like to cheat on his wife, especially if the fact of infidelity remains unnoticed; the “outings” will continue until the ugly truth comes out.
Myths about male psychology and men
A woman often sets herself up for betrayal if she accepts legends about male sexuality. What you expect is what you get. Let's figure out what stories about men prevent a woman from adequately dealing with reality.
- "Men think about sex every 20 seconds."
I asked the men. They think about anything. About work, about children, about food, about news on the Internet, about politics. Do you really think that if only sex was in a man’s head, they would be able to keep other topics in mind?
- “All men are males, they are all polygamous by nature, they need to reproduce.”
First of all, everyone has a different libido. That is, the need for sex can be increased, normal, or even decreased. Sexologists have been sounding the alarm lately, because even teenagers nowadays are not always able to enter into intimate relationships. Although nature itself ordered someone, including teenagers, to strive for intimacy. I would like to - yes. But there is no time, no strength, no one to go with. In the world of information, the load on the mind is much greater than on the body. No matter how much the body wants, if the head gets in the way, it won’t work.
Secondly, the reasons for betrayal are extremely rarely related to the desire to reproduce. Rather, with the desire to relax, receive support or pleasure.
- “If the female wants, the male will jump up”
If a woman wants to seduce a man, she will achieve her goal. Deception, flattery, manipulation. Resistance is futile!
Are you seriously? If this were true, matriarchy would have reigned in the world long ago! Cunning women often conquered powerless men. Of course, if a woman wants to get sex from a man, she is capable of going all the way. But a man is not a Cheburashka, he has rights. In my practice, there were situations when a man in a client’s chair asked: “How can I gently send a girl off? She so diligently unbuttons the buttons on her blouse when she comes up to talk to me,” or “I can really see that she’s looking for a meeting. But I don’t need it"
The key here is: “I don’t need this!” Note, not “you can’t”, but “you shouldn’t”.
How to act as a wife
A man's betrayal always deals a strong blow to his wife, and to the entire family as a whole. The wife's further actions depend on what prospect she sees in front of her: to save the family or follow the lead of her pride and allow her husband to leave. In a family with children, a wife cannot think only about her own comfort; she is aware of the full responsibility of her action:
- separation of parents causes great trauma to children;
- after the breakup of the family, the mother and children will lose their usual material benefits;
- communication with the father and his participation in raising children will be greatly reduced;
- the wife may lose her social status and importance;
- Society is far from enthusiastic about divorced women.
That is, before deciding to divorce, spouses, especially the wife, need to carefully weigh the pros and cons.
Is cheating a reason for divorce?
To save the family, the wife:
- First of all, she pulls herself together and calmly talks to her husband, trying to find out the reasons for what happened.
- Together with her husband she analyzes the situation in the family. At this stage, the help of a qualified specialist is simply necessary.
- Shows sincere interest in the affairs and hobbies of the spouse.
- Carefully takes care of his appearance: going to a beauty salon, working out in the gym, changing his wardrobe.
- Leads an active lifestyle: does not refuse to meet with friends, attends cinema, theater, and so on. At the same time, she shifts a significant part of household chores and raising children to her husband.
- Provokes a husband to jealousy: folk psychology believes that this is the most effective way to return a husband to the family. Many husbands who visit their mistress do not even intend to live with another woman; they perceive their wife as something permanent, ordinary, and does not change under any circumstances. Therefore, changes in the wife’s behavior and her happy return home force the husband to pay attention to his soul mate and return to the bosom of the family.
It happens that some women, having saved their family, cannot fully forgive their husbands for adultery and constantly experience psychological discomfort. Especially if the husband considers himself a kind of “benefactor”, humiliates his wife, undermines her maternal authority among the children, and takes revenge for not leaving the family. Psychologists recommend that a woman not drive herself into a trap and, without waiting for her children to come of age, get a divorce and build her life without her cheating husband. The threat of divorce, or the departure of his wife and children, sometimes forces an unfaithful husband to change his behavior, reevaluate his life values and return to the family. There are few such cases, but they do exist. Even if such a revision of values does not happen, psychological comfort without a traitor will be more beneficial for the woman and her children.
Victim of betrayal
Thus, almost 2/3 of families are faced with male infidelity. Some of them are preserved, the spouses agree on further coexistence that is comfortable for everyone. The part falls apart, the former companions build relationships with the other halves. Another part of the marriages also persists, but there is no longer a favorable family microclimate in the family: trust is lost, there is no mutual understanding, and only the outer shell remains of a happy unit of society. The worst thing in such marriages is for children. The existence of constant mutual parental reproaches in the world harms their psyche; in addition, children do not see the correct model of family relationships in front of them.
Tendency to cheat by zodiac sign
It is impossible to accurately calculate how much a person is capable of changing depending on his date of birth. Depending on the circumstances, anyone is capable of deception. But you can make assumptions based on the character traits of a certain zodiac sign, and identify possible reasons for betrayal:
- Aries are not fans of adventures on the side, if there are enough of them in family life. This energetic sign needs a strong partner in an official relationship, otherwise a passion for someone bright and interesting can happen on the side. Aries spends a long time comparing a legitimate object with an unstudied one, and it is better if the comparison is in favor of the first.
- Infidelity is not in the nature of Taurus. Due to their earthly sign, such people are capable of committing treason for the sake of any material benefits or in the case of bad official relations. In a good marriage, Taurus avoid unnecessary affairs, giving preference to family values.
- Geminis cannot be described as a permanent sign due to their changeable nature, hot temperament and love of adventure. Owners of this sign are extremely sociable and will rarely refuse the opportunity to flirt, but only resentment and a desire for revenge can serve as a serious reason for betrayal.
- Leos are distinguished by their devotion and desire to create a family. However, if this does not work out, Leo can have several partners at once. This royal sign is particularly charismatic and masculine, so the basis for betrayal can be a lack of attention in official relationships. Leo is also very demanding: if he does not see a strong, feminine and faithful half nearby who would meet all his conditions, he is unlikely to settle on one partner.
- Virgo rarely cheats, because she respects herself and her choice of partner. However, if the other half is systematically upsetting and disappointing, there is a chance that the virgin will find solace on the side.
- Libras are romantics and more often dream about something than actually implement it. The main danger in relationships with Libras is misunderstanding, which significantly distances them from their partner.
- Scorpios usually maintain marital fidelity, despite all their sexuality. Everything here is determined by the presence of feelings. If a Scorpio really loves, there is nothing to fear. Serious reasons for concern are lies, since Scorpio does not accept this, as well as the lack of mutual understanding, close spiritual and physical connection.
- Sagittarius is not constancy, since he is a fan of the “extreme” and a lover of new experiences. Therefore, this sign needs a person who can always surprise him. And, of course, Sagittarius will not tolerate restrictions in his freedom.
- Capricorns are practical, hardworking, and rarely cheat. For example, if we are talking about benefits. However, in a family with Capricorn, differences may begin if the spouses do not have a common goal, or Capricorn is not satisfied with the material wealth of the other half. This problem is always fixable.
- Aquarians are stable and do not like changes in relationships. However, they also want something new from time to time. If the other half completely ceases to suit the Aquarius, this will most likely lead to a complete break.
- Pisces: the zodiac sign that will not cheat without love. Pisces do not tend to cheat physically - more often this happens emotionally, in the form of communication with someone, if the main relationship leaves much to be desired. This sign is prone to retreating into its own imaginary world, and is able to be content with only signs of attention from the opposite sex, not necessarily leading to betrayal.
Conclusion
Even if you don’t know what betrayal of a loved one is and you are completely confident in the fidelity of your chosen one, it will not hurt to know what can push you towards it. With the necessary knowledge, you can maintain peace of mind and peace in your family. Remembering the reasons why loving men cheat, you can use women's wisdom, resourcefulness and prevent the possibility of betrayal, making sure that it never even occurs to your husband to look elsewhere. After all, almost any affair is a consequence of male dissatisfaction, and your task is to understand why it arose, and only in this way will harmony and mutual understanding reign in your family.
