How to increase a woman's self-esteem


Let's take a closer look at what is included in this phrase “self-esteem.”


Such a woman does not need constant confirmation from others that she is attractive, smart, interesting, developed, etc. She loves herself and accepts herself as she is. And if some character trait is no longer satisfactory, or the usual type of behavior does not give the expected results, he begins to work on himself. Because he knows that all external changes in life begin initially with internal changes. When your outlook on life is revised, something is realized. So, even if she is insulted, she definitely will not worry and believe in what is said, since she knows and values ​​her personality.


She knows how to solve her problems. But at the same time, she knows how to ask for help if she understands that she is unable to cope with something. She does not enter into relationships just to feel protected and safe. Yes, it is also important for her to receive this from a man, but if something happens, she is able to cope with various adversities on her own. Because he definitely doesn’t like feeling helpless. Just as she doesn’t expect a handsome prince who will solve all the difficulties for her.


Knows how to be alone. Without running headlong somewhere. And he really knows how to enjoy being alone with himself. If necessary, gets along well with others. And he tries to organize his life so that there is an emphasis on quality rather than quantity.

If there is no person nearby with whom you are warm and close, you will be alone until you meet someone with whom you can and want to build a relationship. And not only love or family ones. If you find yourself next to such a woman, then be sure that you are important to her. She probably won’t waste time on those with whom she’s not interested and tense.

You can read more about self-sufficiency here.

Strength of mind

A dependent and insecure girl, if she is treated poorly, strives to win favor with good behavior. She is trying to do something so that the offender realizes his mistakes and understands how good and beautiful she really is, and stops behaving like that towards her. The one who has self-esteem does not fall for such manipulations. On the contrary, she distances herself and tries to minimize contact with such a person, because she knows that it is pointless to please and adapt.


A mature woman with self-esteem has a hobby and an interest in life. She wants to learn new things, strive to develop and grow spiritually. That is why there is something to talk about with her and it is never boring. She does not sacrifice personal time, because she knows that if she does not rest, family relationships will deteriorate, and this will also have a negative impact on her health. She does not allow personal boundaries to be violated, neither her own nor those of others. For example, some couples, as a sign of love for each other, create a common email, social network page or passwords. This causes a fusion, which then makes it unbearable to be around, because it is difficult to distinguish where whose desires, ideas and thoughts are.

The dangers of an inadequate sense of self-esteem

A painful or inadequate sense of self-esteem is fraught with many problems:

  1. An overestimated heart rate or its absence affects communication with others. In the first case, a person begins to humiliate others. In the second, he humiliates himself and allows others to behave the same way.
  2. A person with heightened self-love often gets offended for no reason, faces disappointment, and experiences dissatisfaction with life.
  3. Low self-esteem causes a person to consider himself a victim. He is self-flagellating.
  4. Lack of dignity leads to a lack of ambition, lack of desire to develop, set and achieve goals.
  5. Painful self-doubt makes you feel ashamed of your actions and words. A person becomes vulnerable to manipulation from outside.

Another risk of increased or decreased NRR is associated with the responsibility for maintaining it. Consider how often victims of physical and emotional abuse hide what happened to them. They feel ashamed of what happened. Many even consider themselves to blame for these situations. Psychology calls this behavior an attempt to maintain a sense of self-esteem at the proper level.

Ways to raise your dignity

Stop manipulation

In psychology there is such a term, perverted narcissist. It characterizes a person as a manipulator who seeks to hurt others. Because he feels pleasure and pleasure from it. Power, control and a sense of omnipotence. He loves to play, and does not know how to get close, open up, or trust.

So, no one is safe from meeting him, and even the most strong-willed individuals can fall into a trap. Especially if the narcissist manages to discover the weak point of his victim. But you shouldn’t be afraid; in principle, you can cope with it. At the very least, you will certainly be left with your self-esteem intact. In this article, you will find a more detailed description of this personality type, as well as methods that will help protect against it.

Development of sensitivity

Listen to your feelings and desires. Because if you ignore them, even the people closest to you will eventually start doing it. If only because they won’t always be aware of what you want and what you don’t. Only we are responsible for fulfilling our desires and needs; no one is obliged to do this for us. It is for this reason that you develop sensitivity.

Ask yourself at least several times a day what is currently happening to you, what you would like. Before going to bed, analyze what good happened during the day, what upset you, and what, on the contrary, made you happy. Be open in communication. Or rather, learn to speak directly. If you don’t like something, say so softly and delicately; don’t allow yourself or others to treat you in a way you don’t like. You do not have to suffer, endure and suffer. You have the right to live an interesting and exciting life.

We also recommend watching this short lesson: “How to reveal your sensuality to the maximum.”


I don’t believe that there is a person in the world who does not have the slightest reason to be respected. But there are simply a lot of worthy individuals who ignore and devalue their achievements. Character and actions cannot be one-sided, only negative. There are polar qualities, and even a murderous maniac, unless, of course, he is a psychopath, is capable of doing good. So stop thinking that you can’t do it and that in general, you are not as capable, beautiful, etc. as others. You are special.

If you don’t know yourself very well, get acquainted, get to know each other better. And be sure to praise and appreciate. Right now, take a piece of paper with a pen and write down 10 qualities and skills that you can be proud of. And also 10 points that you would like to learn. Just not just something unrealistic, but really something that you will definitely devote time and effort to. And write this out every day for a week. It is advisable to keep these sheets before your eyes as a reminder of your uniqueness.

And, what is very important, rejoice in your successes and achievements. It’s not a sin to praise yourself, or even to brag. The main thing is not to overdo it. After all, otherwise, why are we putting ourselves out there? How will we get recognition if others don't know we're good at something?

Search for reasons

It is important to explore and find out at what point your relationship with yourself worsened, when you realized that you are not as good as others, that you are not as confident in your abilities. Maybe in childhood my parents didn’t give me much attention, or I couldn’t get praise from them. Maybe someone at school managed to hurt you emotionally so much that you closed off and began to allow others to hurt you. After all, boys show sympathy mainly through teasing, because they don’t yet understand what needs to be done to be noticed by the girl they like.

There can be a lot of reasons, and each person has their own life story, experience and trauma. Think about at what point in your life you began to feel anxious and insecure. If possible, you can share with someone close to you some situation from the past. By receiving support and looking at what happened a little differently, you can free yourself from accumulated anxieties and worries.


If you feel that you are dependent on the opinions of others, start working on yourself. Because every time you communicate, you will “fall” into the position of a victim. And this will not help in any way to grow and develop confidence, inner strength and resilience. This way you run the risk of always hushing up tension and what you don’t like. Stop pleasing others, love and recognition can be obtained even without giving up your self. More information on how to do this can be found by clicking on this link.

How to develop self-esteem

Developing self-esteem begins in early childhood. It is important for parents to understand that the child’s future depends on them. They can raise a strong, self-confident personality or a self-deprecating “victim.”

To develop a sense of self-worth in children, parents need to adhere to six rules:

  1. Convince your child of your unconditional love. This feeling should not stifle or limit freedom. It should not be given for homework done or dishes washed. A child needs to know that he is an individual, and not a weak-willed person who must live up to the expectations of adults.
  2. Show your child your willingness to always come to the rescue. Caution must be exercised here. Your son or daughter should not feel under control. Just be open to communication, do not turn away from them in difficult moments.
  3. Do not punish or insult if the child makes a mistake. Help him understand and correct it.
  4. Help them learn to solve problems on their own. Let your child look for solutions, and not avoid difficulties.
  5. Under no circumstances compare your child to other children. This is not the education of self-esteem, but of low self-esteem and self-doubt. Focus on good qualities, talents, and skills.
  6. Help your child complete tasks to the end. But if he doesn't like an activity, don't insist. This rule will be especially important for parents of teenagers. It is during this period that children choose a profession and a future path in life.

What are the most important qualities a girl should have?

In addition to the above, I will give a few more properties identified during a special survey of the male population:

  • If you graduated from a prestigious university, speak several languages ​​fluently and have an excellent understanding of business, you should not demonstrate this at every opportunity. This will lower the husband's self-esteem. But his psychology is structured in such a way that he is the head of the family.
  • Strong and independent ladies should show character in moderation. Sometimes you have to be weak so that the gentleman wants to shelter them from all adversity and protect them.
  • The ideal woman is not completely dependent on her partner. She has her own circle of friends and interests, her own hobbies and affairs. Wisdom lies in the fact that throughout our lives we learn new things. There is no need to put off self-development until later and completely devote yourself to your chosen one.
  • The atmosphere in the home and in relationships largely depends on the spouse. If your beloved returns from work every day, sees a dissatisfied face and listens to complaints, this will not lead to anything good. Fun, a sense of humor and a good mood are the keys to a happy marriage.
  • Despite the fact that guys are considered representatives of the stronger sex, in reality this is not entirely true. They need the care and support that their chosen one can give them. Being a friend to your man means taking one more step towards his ideal.

How to regain and maintain self-esteem

It is much easier to develop self-esteem in a child than to return it to an adult. But it can be done.

First, ask yourself the question: “Who am I really?” The answer to it is the first step towards the formation of lost self-esteem. Think about this. A person is born with a unique set of qualities, the ability to love, empathize, with desires and preferences. And the biggest mistake is to go against yourself for the sake of external circumstances. In such cases, you internally resist action. From this moment the destruction begins. Self-esteem decreases and confidence disappears. It is becoming increasingly difficult to regain a lost sense of self-worth. But it's worth a try.

Development in four main areas of life will help restore self-esteem:

  1. Physical. Take time to take care of your appearance and health. Don't overwork yourself. Take short breaks during the workday. And on the weekend, have a good rest.
  2. Emotional. Be open when communicating with people. Learn to say directly what you don't like. But at the same time, try not to humiliate or hurt the dignity of your interlocutor. Limit your interactions with those who are rude, irresponsible, or unceremonious.
  3. Intelligent. New knowledge helps build character. Therefore, replace watching TV or, for example, computer games with reading an interesting book. And then try to apply the information received in life.
  4. Spiritual. Understanding the meaning of life will help to develop lost dignity again. Think about the purpose of your existence, decide on a direction and make a plan of action.

From time to time, analyze each of these areas, find and correct errors. Once you have gained an adequate assessment of yourself, you need to maintain it. To do this, remember a number of simple recommendations:

  1. Write down and achieve 7 small goals every week.
  2. Plan to read at least one book a month.
  3. Every day before going to bed, write down what good you have done, what you are proud of or even admire.
  4. Learn to refuse without humiliating or insulting the person.
  5. Find a hobby or start doing something you've always wanted to do.
  6. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. People tend to make bad choices. Make them a stepping stone towards improvement.
  7. Limit communication with those who slow down your development.
  8. Take risks. Life is too short to leave dreams for later.
  9. Don't be afraid of anything. Look at difficulties with optimism.

Another piece of advice is to look your fears in the eye. Defeating them will also help you develop respect for yourself as an individual.

When developed human dignity helps

Human dignity is a feeling that differs from self-respect and self-esteem by appealing to society, which involves feedback and reaction. Developed human dignity predetermines the nature of any relationship, including in the family and society: between a man and a woman, between a boss and a subordinate, between parents and children.

A person who highly values ​​himself as an individual places increased demands on the people around him and the principles of relationships with them. The concept of relationships is built in accordance with generally accepted moral norms and standards.

Determining a person’s dignity involves an objective assessment of such aspects as mastered skills, abilities, real opportunities and prospects, personal qualities, which allows a motivated individual to identify weaknesses and correct the identified components.

A person with a well-developed CSD easily establishes communication connections, builds happy, harmonious personal relationships, and achieves career advancement. Success in any field is associated with inner confidence, the ability to identify main tasks, set priorities, plan a strategy and follow it step by step.

( 1 rating, average 5 out of 5 )
Did you like the article? Share with friends:
For any suggestions regarding the site: [email protected]
Для любых предложений по сайту: [email protected]