How to find a guy: where you can meet your ideal man and how to start a serious relationship with him

Every girl dreams of meeting a reliable young man, starting a family with him and confidently moving on in life. Social roles in society are distributed in this way: a woman gives birth to children and raises them, and a man earns money, becomes support and protection. When choosing a guy for a serious relationship, a representative of the fairer sex tries to make the right decision, which can positively affect her entire future destiny. How to find a worthy man will be discussed in this article.
From this article you will learn:
  • How to find a worthy man and where to start
  • Where can you find a decent man
  • How to find a decent man on a dating site
  • How to keep a decent man after meeting him

Where to meet

Agree, it’s quite difficult to find a guy without going out and making new acquaintances. Of course, there is a possibility of starting a relationship with someone you already know, but if there is no one among your friends or colleagues who would interest you, there is only one way out - to meet new people.

How to do it? The first thing that comes to mind is the Internet. Gone are the days when online dating was looked down upon and considered something indecent. Many couples got to know each other thanks to VKontakte, Facebook and Tinder pages. These resources are visited by many people, which means that the chance of meeting someone worthy increases significantly.

In addition, many people are now members of various online communities. This is also a chance to get to know each other! You and your boyfriend will definitely have topics of conversation and a common hobby.

There is another simple solution - sign up for a club or course on something that interests you. This could be a sports section, computer science classes, or even volunteer activities. You definitely won’t get bored, because it’s about what you like, and at the same time you’ll get to know new people who have similar hobbies.

If you are very serious and are looking for a companion for life, then read our article on how to find a husband.

Ask your friends if they have a lonely friend who, like you, is looking for his soul mate? Mutual acquaintances are a kind of guarantee that a man will not turn out to be a maniac or a person whose VK page is very different from what he is like in life.

You have a dog? Great! Regular walks with your pet in various parks are a great opportunity to make new acquaintances. It will be much easier to start a conversation if the topic is your adorable dog or his shaggy puppy.

If you don’t have your own animal, don’t despair, but be smart! Surely you know owners of four-legged pets, and they will not refuse help with walks. Moreover, you can go for a walk with a friend if she is also in search of the ideal guy.

In any case, you need to be careful at the very beginning of dating. You shouldn’t tell everything about yourself at once, and you shouldn’t unconditionally trust a person you only met a couple of days ago or with whom you only communicated virtually.

Standard places for dating

  • Specialized clubs for gays. In any, even the smallest town, you can find establishments that are focused only on the male contingent and their goal is precisely to solve the question: where to find a gay guy.
  • Search among friends, at friendly parties. Often gay guys don't stand out at all from other people. Thus, when communicating in a noisy company, there is a high probability that one of the handsome men will turn out to be exactly the person that a young gay man needs.
  • At swingers' parties. Specially organized events for meetings and acquaintances of people of non-traditional sexual orientation. They usually take place in country clubs, private apartments, and saunas. It is worth noting that most often people who come to such meetings are looking for an easy relationship. If you are in the mood for a serious, long-term relationship, it is better to look more carefully. Perhaps even in unusual places.

Thoughtful image

Critically analyze your appearance. This does not mean that you need to look for the slightest flaws and acquire complexes. Even the models on magazine covers are not perfect. But it doesn’t hurt to think about what you can change in your appearance to become more attractive to the opposite sex.

Agree, you also don’t like sloppily dressed and unkempt men. Therefore, try to create an image that will highlight your strengths and hide possible shortcomings.

If you consider yourself ugly or fat (which is actually wrong!), try to work on your appearance. Skillful makeup and a good hairstyle can work wonders, as can a well-chosen wardrobe. In fact, this does not require huge expenses, and on the Internet you can find a lot of advice on image and style. Just choose what feels close to you so it feels natural.

A gym membership and regular exercise will not only help you stay in shape, but will also increase your chances of quickly finding a good guy!

What kind of girls always attract guys?

Qualities that attract men:


Men are attracted by femininity; it gives a feeling of comfort and harmony. How does femininity manifest itself? In smooth movements, the ability to control speech, demeanor, a kind attitude towards others, a calm look. Don’t forget about clothing in this matter. A light dress and elegant shorts will definitely add a feminine touch to your look, which is hard to say about ripped jeans, oversized T-shirts and other fashion trends.


Sparkling girls enjoy the attention and interest of men. Sincerity allows them not to be disingenuous, to be themselves, to remove all pretense, and to speak directly about thoughts and desires. The opposite sex finds it attractive.


Quality that captivates everyone. Strong men “melt” before women’s tenderness and kindness; it attracts them and wins them over.

Sense of humor

Girls with a sense of humor and self-irony win in comparison with those lacking these qualities. Optimism is also impossible without humor. A woman who believes in the best, does not focus on the negative and knows how to laugh at a situation is much more interesting than grumbling and touchy ladies.

Faith in a man

Men need support and faith in their strength. By showing your chosen one such qualities, you will become his motivation. Taking a closer look at those around you, you will notice that couples where the woman believes in her partner are more successful and harmonious.

How to find out more about each other

So, you met a young man who seems interesting to you. This is already a good result, but it is not yet a guarantee of a serious relationship. Dating itself is only the first step in a long journey. To understand that a guy really suits you, it’s not enough to appreciate his appearance or have a common hobby. You need to try to get to know him as well as possible before rushing headlong into the pool.

What to pay attention to from the very beginning

Answer yourself honestly, how pleasant is it for you to communicate with him? Do his jokes really seem funny to you or are you smiling out of politeness? Do you like talking to him? Is he interested in your opinion or is he only talking about himself? Are you on the same wavelength with him or is everyone worried exclusively about their own problems?

All these banal things are actually very important, and if there is no harmony between a guy and a girl even in ordinary conversation, a romantic relationship will be doomed to failure, even if he is very handsome in appearance.

Try to find out from the conversation or ask him yourself - does he have a girlfriend? This, on the one hand, will help you understand: he is looking for a friendly relationship or something more. On the other hand, a positive answer to this question will be a warning signal for you. If a guy is ready to flirt, being unfree, it means that it is better to immediately give up on a serious relationship with such a womanizer.

If possible, talk to his friends or acquaintances. They, without knowing it, can give you food for thought. If they know that he is looking for a strong relationship, this is a good sign, but if they speak of him as a frivolous person who does not want to tie himself to any ties, think carefully about whether this is what you need.

Keep in mind that even your closest friends sometimes don’t know a person 100%. Their opinion is worth taking into account, but do not draw conclusions based on this alone.

Social networks 2

Almost every person (except, perhaps, pensioners over 90 years old and children under 5) is registered in at least one social network. Therefore, we can say that such sites provide the most complete “database” and an endless number of variations.

But all social networks are divided into several categories:

  1. In contact with. Mainly a youth social network, age category - from 10 to 40 years. Huge coverage, mainly Russian audience. VKontakte has convenient search filters, you can set: city, age, gender, marital status. The ideal social network for finding a partner.
  2. Classmates. The age category is already older, on average from 35 to 70 years. A secret social network for people of retirement age and an analogue of VKontakte. Search filters are less convenient and extensive. Therefore, this site is not suitable for finding a partner (except perhaps an older gardener).
  3. Facebook. The audience is different (mostly young and middle-aged people), the coverage is large. There are not very many Russians on Facebook, but there are a huge number of foreigners there. The search filters are convenient. This platform is the foreign progenitor of VKontakte. Suitable for girls who speak English and want to meet a foreigner.
  4. Instagram. Coverage: all countries and all ages. The big disadvantage is that this site is a kind of photo gallery that does not contain extensive information about users. There are no search filters as such: you need to search by nickname. Suitable for searching for a person based on mutual friends.

You will learn the most important things about communication and choosing a social dating network from our article at the link.

The best option is VKontakte. In order to find a person, you need to go to the general search, set the necessary filters and scroll down (the most popular pages are at the top). It is not necessary to enter your first and last name, just enter the city, indicate the desired age group and marital status (suitable: “actively searching” or “single”).

Next, you need to select a suitable “character” from the photo, go to his page and study his interests. If a person meets the personal selection criteria and has an open profile, then you can try to put a few likes. Then wait for an answer.

A person will definitely see that they are interested in him and (in case of reciprocal sympathy) will react. A brave girl can immediately write a personal message, but this only makes sense if she liked one specific person and immediately wanted to chat with him. For example, based on similar interests.

How important it is to be friendly

Any person enjoys communicating with those who are open and friendly.

It is enough to smile at a chance meeting, wave your hand from afar, or invite him to sit next to you. These gestures are not obligatory to anything, but they definitely let him know that you are pleased to be around and exchange at least a few words with him.

Gone are the days when a girl had to show her indifference with all her might in order to win a guy. Who wants to communicate with a frowning princess?

Try not to confuse friendliness with availability. Just be kind and conducive to communication with those around you.

Conversations, even short ones, are an important part of a budding relationship. It’s not enough to just say hello and then look away and stare at your smartphone. Try to use every meeting as an opportunity to exchange at least a couple of phrases with him: ask him about the movie premiere or what he is going to do this weekend. Such harmless topics will help you stop feeling awkward and afraid to take the first step.

Visualization of desires

Psychologists believe that drawing up a wish map also helps in finding a husband. Personally, I don’t rely much on such visualizations, but if it helps someone, then why not?

To draw up such a map, you need to take a sheet of paper and draw or place on it a portrait of your ideal chosen one cut out from some magazine with those attributes that you consider important for yourself. This will help you better understand whether his external beauty, real estate, expensive cars, good education or ability to do housework are important to you.

You need to place yourself on the map for the visualization to be complete.

Try not to show this collage to anyone, and treat it more like a formalized action plan.

Remember that simply sticking a desire on paper is not enough - it is just a way to better understand yourself and your needs. Next, you will have to focus on the real work of making your dreams come true.

Love begins with friendship

Any strong relationship has a strong friendship as its foundation. People feel good together not only because they are in love with each other, but also because they are best friends.

If you meet a guy who you like in appearance and with whom it is pleasant to communicate, do not rush to start an affair with him. It's okay if you're just friends for a while. This way you can get to know each other better while still having your own space.

Of course, friendship can last for years and not develop into a romantic relationship. Don’t let this upset you, because good friends in the modern world are also worth their weight in gold.

At first, after meeting someone, it can be difficult to feel free and calm when communicating with a guy. I just want to seem funnier and more experienced... In fact, everything that is put on is usually noticeable from the outside, and what’s the point of creating an image that has nothing real behind it? Stay yourself - this will not only make your task easier, but will also save you from future problems in your relationship. Be natural and sincere, let this be what sets you apart from the crowd.

Don't be afraid to discover something new through getting to know him. If he's a fan of a band you haven't heard of or likes a TV show you haven't watched, be curious. He will be pleased, and you will have new topics for conversation or even new hobbies.

Finding a like-minded person

Of course, a test from a magazine will not help you find your man. This matter should be approached thoughtfully. When looking for your partner, you need to focus on your own lifestyle and preferences. For example, an intelligent woman leading an active lifestyle will never find happiness with a simple-minded guy who is full of bad habits. However, a young man should not be completely like a girl, because strong relationships are built on constantly complementing each other. Regular discovery of new qualities and positive character traits will ultimately lead to a harmonious and happy life together.

Opposites attract... or not?

Once you become friends, it won’t be difficult for you to find out more about him. Remember that you should not set yourself up for a serious relationship with a stranger. Try to talk with him about his childhood, school years and how he sees his future.

Of course, finding someone who matches you 100% is almost impossible. There will definitely be something in his views and beliefs that you disagree with. Be aware of this and don’t give up on a man only if he doesn’t like your favorite actor or song.

The main thing is that you respect each other’s opinions and do not perceive existing differences as a blank wall that makes dialogue impossible.

By communicating with each other, you both can discover something new and broaden your horizons. The main thing is to have a sincere interest in the hobbies of your partner.

It is equally important to find out how he feels about the prospect of the development of a romantic story. Maybe he recently had his heart broken and is not at all in the mood for love? Such information may be painful for you, but it will allow you not to waste time and not make mistakes. You should not force a man into a relationship that he is not looking for - something good is unlikely to come of it. In such situations, communication with his friends will be useful. They can tell you what his mood is and what he wants from a relationship.

While remaining his friend, still try to let him know that you like him not only as a friend. This will help you avoid prolonging the friendship stage and also avoid misunderstandings.


Our age also leaves a certain imprint on what kind of husband we are looking for.

If you are between 20 and 30 years old, then the wishes, as a rule, do not differ from those that are usually presented to young guys. A man must respect his soul mate, take care of her, and have common hobbies.

For women after 35 or 40 years old, meeting their ideal becomes more difficult. Our character at this age has already been formed, we have acquired habits and beliefs, so adapting to another person is becoming more and more problematic. Unsuccessful attempts to start a family in the past, as well as children from previous relationships, can also be added to the established way of life.

And when starting the search for a new husband, you should take into account all these points in order to correctly formulate the requirements for a potential chosen one.

First step

At the beginning of every relationship, the worst thing is to take the first step.

Of course, you don't always have to do it yourself. Most guys will prefer to take the initiative themselves. But if you see that the wait is dragging on, it’s better to take matters into your own hands. It’s very scary to come up and speak first, but this way you’ll immediately dot the i’s. He might like you, but he's shy. Maybe he's not interested in a romantic relationship with you - but then it's not worth wasting any more time on him, right?

When talking, don't be afraid to flirt. Flirting will help show him that you are interested. Use body language, lean towards him when talking, don’t be afraid to touch him unobtrusively, look him in the eyes, give compliments if he deserves them!

If you started communicating and you have common hobbies, but you still haven’t received an invitation to a date from him, take the initiative. After all, what do you have to lose? Choose a harmless excuse like a new movie or a concert of your favorite band.

Be independent and respect his habits

It’s important to show the guy that you don’t depend on him. It may even scare him at first, but over time he will appreciate it. There is nothing more intrusive than constant calls or messages with various questions. Of course, for some time he will like being the center of your universe, but then he will just get tired of it.

I advise you to show the guy that you have a head on your shoulders, your own interests and your own opinion. If you don’t agree with something, then you don’t need to hide it, it’s enough to argue your point of view.

You are not the only one who has the right to opinion and independence. Let him know that you respect his interests and his friends. You shouldn't make a scandal every time he wants to spend time with his friends and not with you. Of course, everything is good in moderation, but relationships are not a reason to cut off all previous acquaintances and concentrate only on your partner. If being with you prevents him from doing something he loved before you met, he's unlikely to be happy or want to continue.

The basis for a serious relationship

This may sound a little pretentious, but for the development of a real relationship, it is important to understand that your chosen one is a person whom you can trust and who will always support you. Therefore, try to listen to him, take his endeavors and dreams seriously, do not be afraid to tell him how much you appreciate him and are proud of his successes.

There is no need to try to change a guy to suit you; usually nothing good comes out of this. If he doesn't ask for advice, don't insist too much. Just be there when he needs support and advice.

Help in a difficult situation

Everyone has bad streaks - problems at school, college or failures at work. The last thing we want to hear at such moments is reproaches. We only need support and friendly participation. There is no need to focus on what he was wrong about. Try to direct his thoughts on how to solve the problem.

If we are talking about difficulties with studying, you can help in those subjects in which you understand better. If difficulties arise at work, try to give the right advice, help with writing a resume or preparing for an interview. A guy shouldn't be afraid to talk about his problems. If he knows that he can rely on you in difficult times, then he will probably perceive you as a partner for a serious relationship.

How not to lose a guy in 10 days

I would like to dwell on the mistakes that girls make quite often at the beginning of a relationship. Try to avoid them, and your boyfriend will definitely appreciate it.

  1. You shouldn’t gossip about your girlfriends or his friends in front of him - normal guys don’t like that at all.
  2. Relationships should be based on sincerity, so try to be honest with each other from the very beginning.
  3. Start looking for a guy based on your desires: you shouldn’t count on a long-term relationship with a homebody if you like to spend all weekend at the disco, and vice versa.
  4. Sometimes there is no need for recognition. If a guy doesn't answer your messages and calls, it means he doesn't want a relationship.
  5. Try to figure out whether you like him only externally or whether you feel good with him in any situation.
  6. In order for the conversation to be interesting for both of you, choose topics that are important to him. By the way, on our website there is a separate article on the topic of what to talk about with men.
  7. Don't be too persistent: guys sometimes take time to make a decision too.
  8. Do not deliberately provoke his jealousy - this can only push him away or scare him.
  9. Be kind. Arrogance and disdain only look good in movies.
  10. If you find that interest in you is just a reason to make another girl jealous, you shouldn’t indulge him in this. You'll be wasting your time.
  11. If you received a refusal or realized that this guy is not the one with whom you feel good, don’t be upset. Use the experience gained to avoid making mistakes next time.
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