Many people are familiar with the feeling when it is difficult to talk to a stranger or do something completely ordinary, but in front of everyone. It seems that everyone is looking with judgment or ridicule, and a barrage of criticism is about to fall. Shyness is an embarrassment that prevents you from leading a normal life, hampers your arms and legs and makes you feel inferior. However, not everything is so simple with this condition, which makes you blush or turn pale and once again step aside.
What is shyness?
If we rely on the official definition, then shyness is timid bashfulness, shyness and extreme, sometimes painful caution in words and actions. In most cases, shyness is closely related to self-doubt and deep personal complexes.
At the same time, it cannot be said that this is just a cute and harmless eccentricity. In fact, shyness is a serious personal problem that can destroy a person’s life, deprive him of the opportunity to succeed, find a normal job and arrange his personal life.
Many people have experienced shyness and tried to cope with it in different ways. For some it was easier, for others it was harder, but there are also those who lost in this battle. Victims of shyness are quite socialized, because it is not a disease, but just a character trait. But not all character traits can be changed or overcome.
Shyness can be a reason for success
In an interview with People magazine, actress Daryl Hannah (Blade Runner, Wall Street, Kill Bill) admitted that she was diagnosed with autism as a child, as a result of which she suffered from pathological shyness all her life.
“I always felt discomfort when I was the center of attention. It drove me crazy,” says the actress. As a result, she refused to give promotional interviews and appear on talk shows, but “not because she considered herself above it, but because she was too afraid.” Now she has left the profession, but, according to her, she was able to overcome her shyness.
Fears of a shy person
A shy person has many fears, and it depends only on his sincerity with himself whether he recognizes this as fear or prefers the wording “reasonable fears.” You can be afraid of anything: putting on a bright T-shirt, changing your hairstyle, replacing glasses with contact lenses, meeting a person of the opposite sex... Shy people do not sing in karaoke bars, do not go to nightclubs and are unlikely to become regulars at an ordinary youth party. If you see someone in a group who is trying to pretend to be invisible, that is him, the shy person. The word “shyness” itself is very expressive in structure. The personality is behind the wall. A person withdraws and goes on the defensive, believing that whoever is not seen will not be attacked.
Before awareness of the problem occurs, a shy person does not even ask the question of how to overcome shyness. On the contrary, this character trait is perceived as protective armor. Not to provoke something that is sure to cause strong emotional experiences - this is the main task of shyness. And even if this tool does not work or helps only partially, it is familiar and convenient. It is very difficult to get rid of it.
Salvation for the modest - alcohol
For shy people, alcohol helps with communication and relieves mild stress. Therefore, having a drink or two on Friday in the company of, for example, colleagues, is a salvation for such people. To confirm this thesis, French psychologists from Pierre Mendes-France University went to a bar where they asked 19 drinkers (two-thirds of whom were men) to rate their own attractiveness on a seven-point scale. At the same time, scientists checked blood alcohol levels. The answers were predictable: the more a person drank, the more irresistible he considered himself.
Is shyness modesty or cowardice?
When we talk about fears associated with shyness, another definition logically comes up - cowardice. Perhaps this is another factor that depresses painfully shy people; they consider themselves cowardly, but we should not forget that this definition is traditionally associated with condemnation, censure and is not justified by any circumstances.
If we select synonyms for the word “shyness,” then cowardice should probably be excluded from the list. This is an incorrect comparison of two apparently similar conditions. More appropriate synonyms are excessive modesty, shyness, awkward timidity. But what about cowardice?
Many shy people are quite capable of heroic deeds, of true courage. These are the fruits of a complex process in which a timid person makes a universal effort not to succumb to his weakness to such an extent that he forbids himself to leave the house at all. Even if the result is invisible to others, these efforts cannot be devalued.
SHY
SHY
The word shy is a verbal noun formation. It is associated with the verb zastenit and with the noun zastenka. It is enough to give parallels: accommodating - one who easily gets along with people, picky - inclined to find fault, touchy and, on the other hand, picky - one who makes out, distinguished by legibility, intelligible - easily reaching consciousness, etc. Consequently, the word shy can rely on the meanings of the words zastenit - zastenit - zastenit and zastenit - zastenovatsya - zastenatsya (cf. the possibility of forming the word zastenka from the reflexive and non-reflexive forms of the verb). The verb zastenivat - zastenit - zasteniat is derived from the word zasten 'shade, protection from the sun, shady place', which is known both in Old Church Slavonic and in Old Russian. The verb zastenit has been widely used in the Russian literary language since ancient times89. In the Russian literary language of the 18th century. it is found in both high and medium style. For example, in Derzhavin (“Erody over the tomb of the righteous woman”):
And suddenly, sloping into a floating hill,
The sun's vision is obscured...
He also has:
The sun is blocking the light for me...
(To the second neighbor)
In “Moskovskie Vedomosti” (1777, No. 5): “Someone..., sitting in his box behind one lady, was so obscured by her fashionable headdress that, with the greatest effort, he could not see quite a single scene in the theater to the full opera."
To obscure—to obscure means: “to obscure, to block”; to be shy - to 'shut up'. These words are also common in living folk dialects. Wed. Uglich: “move away from the light, do not obscure”; in the Pokrovsky and Yuryevsky districts of the Vladimir region: “it’s not me who is blocking the light.”
Wed. in “Notes of the Unfortunate” by V.P. Kolesnikov (according to the recording of V.I. Shteingel in the 30s of the 19th century): “The patient came to his senses to see his terrible situation between robbers and thieves, in a stinking, dirty prison - the situation , capable of killing a healthy person, not just a sick one! But youth has gigantic powers! Moreover, the friendly care of his comrades, especially Druzhinin, brought him comfort and, so to speak, “shrouded” the somewhat terrible groups of personified vices.”90
The adjective shy arose in living folk speech and meant: “one who, out of embarrassment, timidity, modesty, is inclined to become shy, hide, shield himself, cover himself with his hand, go into the shadows.” From here the shades then developed: “timid, bashful, timid.”
V.I. Chernyshev pointed out the word shy in the Meshchovo and Moscow region folk dialects: “Ana is not shy” (words by Grot - Shakhmatova 1903, vol. 2, issue 7, p. 2054).
The word shy is already in the Russian literary language of the second half of the 18th century. deeply entered into the lexical norm of the middle style. For example, in Karamzin’s “Translations” (1, 136): “Young Mrs. Clarville, being by nature of a quiet disposition and shy...”. In Pushkin’s “The Peasant Young Lady”: “...pretending to be half-frightened, half-shy.”
The note has not been published previously. Printed from typescript (on 2 pages) with copyright edits. The typescript was checked and clarified according to the manuscript (4 pages of different formats). — V.L.
89 For a catalog of etymological hypotheses relating to the word stech and the verb zastenit, see G. A. Ilyinsky (Slavic etymologies // RFV, 1910, No. 1 - 2. P. 329 et seq.).
90 Kolesnikov V.P. Notes of the unfortunate man, containing a trip to Siberia by rope. St. Petersburg, 1914. P. 99.
V. V. Vinogradov. History of words, 2010
Synonyms
:
expressing timidity, expressing embarrassment, wild, wild, fractional, bashful, embarrassed, red girl, red girl, timid, embarrassed, shy, bashful, cowardly
Painful shyness
There are different degrees of shyness; it is quite possible to live with some manifestations of this character trait and even make friends. However, painful shyness, which is accompanied by psychosomatic manifestations, becomes a difficult ordeal. This is the very case when personal efforts are clearly not enough, you need to contact a specialist. This is precisely the problem.
A shy person finds himself in a vicious circle, because only a good psychologist can help in such a state, but shyness prevents him from turning to a specialist for help. A psychologist will be able to provide qualified assistance, identify the causes of shyness and quietly push the patient along the path of recovery and psychological comfort.
If shyness has developed so much that it prevents you from turning to a psychologist or at least asking for help from friends or family, then we are talking about a painful form. Ordinary timidity manifests itself in a milder form, but if socialization is already close to zero, then measures need to be taken. It is difficult to get out of such a state alone, although there is also a possibility of a favorable outcome.
Psychosomatic manifestations
If we consider timidity as a psychological problem, and not as a reprehensible defect, then we can get rid of one of the main reasons for this phenomenon. Getting rid of judgment is half the solution to the problem that is shyness. In psychology, this is considered one of the fundamental techniques when a value judgment addressed to a patient is absolutely unacceptable. However, in addition to psychological problems, a painfully shy person also has more pressing ones, namely psychosomatics.
If, due to shyness, profuse sweating, tremors of the limbs, disorientation in space and breathing problems begin, then we are talking about serious psychosomatic signals. Of course, it is worth ruling out the presence of a physical disease that gives the above symptoms, but everything in the body is interconnected. No wonder they say that all diseases are caused by nerves.
Psychosomatic manifestations block the path to salvation from timidity, and they must be fought to the best of one’s strength and ability. If the psychologist is unable to provide assistance, then the next step will be a referral to a psychiatrist who will prescribe a mild sedative. Of course, this dulls attention, but it also prevents you from worrying too much.
What is shyness?
Shyness is a mental state of internal tension, constraint of words and movements, fearfulness, social awkwardness, self-doubt, indecisiveness, lack of experience in communicating and building relationships with others. There are many theories about where the feeling of shyness comes from.
Clinical psychologists argue that it is transmitted genetically, like other traits: eye color, height. A shy person has a highly excitable nervous system, like his parents. Therefore, they tend to avoid danger and conflicts.
Representatives of behaviorism view things in the aspect of “a stimulus from the external environment - a person’s reaction to it.” To achieve any result, you need to study. It is believed that some have not acquired adequate communication skills. But they only learned negative experience while trying to have a conversation. Therefore, such people should be shown how to speak and behave correctly among people.
Sociologists and social psychologists say that the reason for the formation is the attitudes of society and the educational conditions in which we grow up. For example, shyness is considered a noble trait for a girl, but not for a guy. In Muslim countries this position is even more acute.
Psychoanalysts say that there is a conflict within. Like a quarrel or misunderstanding after a conversation we had in high school. Feelings were deeply hurt, and then they were not worked through. Therefore, in the future, when encountering a similar situation and people, negative emotions and a desire to avoid conflict will emerge.
Family psychologists focus on the dependence of birth order and how shy the child will be. The first one always has more trouble and a desire to protect, which sometimes results in overprotection. And already the second or third child receives more freedom and trust from their parents. Therefore, they grow up more liberated.
Neuroscientists say that whether a person will be shy or not depends on serotonin, the hormone of happiness. If there is a lack of it, then he will often be timid. Deficiency also causes constant fatigue, anxious personality disorder, and phobias.
There are two types of shyness:
- External – secrecy, reluctance to communicate, avoidance of large companies and parties. It is clear that contact with some or all people provides fear and a high level of anxiety.
- Internal - in the presence of others, he seems to be a socially active member of the conversation, successfully communicates and does not show it. But inside there is suppressed anxiety and a desire to hide from everyone.
Take a personality type test
Shyness as a symptom
It is worth clearly distinguishing timidity, born of childhood psychological trauma or other negative phenomena, and psychiatric symptoms. Sometimes painful or even exaggerated shyness is a symptom of a disease that can be corrected with medication. You can spend a lot of time and energy on personal growth training, meditation and other practices aimed at achieving balance, but if along the way you experience symptoms such as impaired thinking, all kinds of manic and depressive states, and suspicion, then this should not be ignored.
When Shyness Attacks
Sometimes we have to admit that severe shyness is a disease, despite the absence of such a diagnosis in medical practice. If a person is at first embarrassed to smile at another person or timid when approached by a representative of the opposite sex, and then reaches voluntary self-isolation, then we are talking about a powerful attack from a personal problem.
Shyness can sometimes grow to unimaginable proportions, when it already becomes absurd. In order to prevent this manifestation of timidity, which is destructive for the personality, it is advisable to fight the disadvantage to the best of your ability and ability.
Reasons for Shyness
First of all, it is worth understanding the reasons that led to such a character trait. There are no innately shy people; it is an acquired trait. However, young children often exhibit charming timidity. Shyness in children is a kind of unconscious defensive reaction to everything new, unfamiliar and potentially dangerous. Someone else's aunt hands her candy, and the baby smiles timidly and hides behind her mother. What's happening?
A large alien creature with an unknown purpose seeks to violate the child’s personal space. At the same time, he tries to seduce him with a treat. If the mother at the same time shows anxiety or aggression, then on a subconscious level the correctness of such a reaction may become entrenched in the child - contact with strangers is dangerous. But open aggression is also dangerous, so the defenseless creature adopts the tactics of a fawn abandoned by its mother - it tries to become invisible. If you can’t become invisible, then you need to convince the potential predator that this creature is not a trophy of value, but something completely unworthy of attention.
Subsequently, this pattern of behavior can be reinforced through contacts with unfriendly peers - children are cruel. And if parents do not provide support to the child and do not give a feeling of security, then difficulties in the future are quite likely.
How to overcome shyness?
Analysis of fear.
To defeat the enemy, you need to find out as much information as possible about him. It is worth analyzing situations that make you feel shy. What exactly confuses them: what kind of people they are, what they say, what conditions are around them.
You can look from the outside that some things are completely harmless. And find a solution to what really causes anxiety and panic. Sitting at home in a cozy room, you can find a way out, and then simply apply it in real communication. It may not work out the first time, but practice will correct everything.
Look the enemy in the face.
If communicating with other people is confusing, then you need to get used to it and gain experience in talking with strangers. To do this, it’s worth going to new companies, courses, lectures. Consciously expose yourself to situations to get out of your comfort zone.
Each time new people will seem less dangerous and incomprehensible. It will be easier to find topics for conversation, and your cheeks will stop blushing altogether. Such dating situations will become commonplace and will not cause anxiety.
Studies.
Today, there is a large amount of information on the Internet in the form of articles and videos about how to learn how to communicate correctly with people. What topic to choose, how to monitor your facial expressions and body posture, how to recognize the interlocutor’s attitude towards you or directly towards the words.
You can take a public speaking course to practice your diction. There will be an opportunity to perform many times in front of an impromptu audience - to adapt to such situations, and just communicate in a large company.
Remember the benefits.
Constant confusion forces you to focus only on your shortcomings. But everyone also has something for which they can be praised. Be it honesty, well-developed intellectual abilities or the ability to bake pies perfectly. You can remember this before an awkward situation to boost your self-esteem.
You can repeat your positive personality traits every day: when brushing your teeth, going to work, cooking dinner. Or say in your mind: “I am a good friend,” “I am a successful businessman,” “I read a lot of books,” “I graduated from the university with honors.”
Take the self-esteem test
Be a good listener.
People who cause embarrassment also demand attention and want to be listened to. No one wants to cause harm, say barbs or be caught in bad communication manner. Therefore, we can help with this.
The attention will switch from internal emotions and feelings of shame to the interlocutor. The tension and level of fear of saying something wrong will decrease. Adaptation to the person occurs, there will be more confidence to answer. And such respect for the words of others greatly brings the opponent together and favors him.
Fighting shyness
The most important thing in the battle with shyness is awareness and acceptance of the problem, plus the first steps. It’s worth reconsidering your attitude towards failures - mistakes on this thorny path are inevitable, and they are just testing to fine-tune your loose self-esteem. How to get rid of shyness? It's probably worth mentioning first what not to do, this will help significantly reduce the number of failures.
You can’t humiliate yourself and scold yourself. Any person who bravely enters into combat with his psychological problem is well done by default. The internal censor, which is invisibly present in every shy person, must be silent.
There are many ways to get rid of shyness: the already mentioned psychologist, a radical change of team, the support of like-minded people. Shy friends have friends too, and their support is extremely important, especially since shy people have a hard time making friends and have a small social circle. There are known cases of getting rid of shyness when joining a fundamentally different team. Yoga, dancing, hiking, or even kayaking - anything is suitable when looking for people of a different formation. You can get out of the vicious circle, the main thing is not to give up.
Undesirable extreme
If a person is painfully looking for a way to overcome shyness, he may go to the other extreme. Find someone even more timid and assert yourself at his expense. Become a censor, persecutor and executioner for another person. Yesterday's shy and clumsy eccentrics may well become cruel initiators of bullying. However, this will not solve the problem - half of the aggressors are typical timid losers who are mortally afraid of being in the victim’s place. It is impossible to overcome shyness in this way; it is just overcompensation, a gesture of despair, and it has a destructive effect on the psyche.
Shyness is not a death sentence
Is it really necessary to get rid of shyness and rush to the other extreme - create an image of a successful person, turn on acting, spend hours rehearsing in front of the mirror for a dazzling Hollywood smile? When thinking about how to get rid of shyness, you can choose a convenient mask under which to remain just as unhappy, but sooner or later any disguise stops working.
Many shy people are charming because of their shyness. In our time, the fighting spirit that only a few could be proud of before has become a banality. It is quite possible to learn to live with shyness by building your own comfort zone, into which troubles from the outside are not allowed. The main thing is not to slip into self-isolation.
Shyness and shy people
A young man who cannot meet a girl, a student who crumples his report in his hands, is unable to squeeze out a word or is covered in embarrassment, and even a child huddling close to his mother on the playground - all these are characteristic signs of shyness. Shyness and shy people are our conversation today.
And public speaking, which even for very brave people is stressful (small or significant depending on age and experience), for shy people seems unrealistic, unfeasible, as if as soon as they open their mouth, they will immediately be struck by lightning or carried away by a typhoon.
But, whatever one may say, public speaking - exams, interviews, reports, weddings, where there is a need from time to time to make toasts with close and not so close people and other events, is an integral part of the life of any person.
If you try to avoid all such situations, life either becomes much more complicated or loses its colors. Shyness is based on fear.
Shyness and shy people
A timid person is paralyzed by fear of the negative assessment of others. Fear is an ally when it comes to avoiding situations that lead to physical pain or unpleasant experiences. As a rule, the fear of negative evaluation begins in childhood.
Most often, the reason lies in the demanding and critical attitude of parents or teachers.
Lack of approval, support or consequences that caused mental pain, conflict with peers, as a result of which a defensive behavior strategy was developed: “sit quietly, don’t stick your head out, then it won’t hurt.”
It’s as if there is a supervisor sitting inside a person who dictates to him: “You will look funny, don’t take risks, don’t attract attention.”
Shyness significantly complicates life: it is difficult for a person to make friends and defend his rights. Fear of speaking your mind hinders effective communication.
Depression, feelings of loneliness, anxiety, self-doubt, an unstable personal life and even significant problems at work are the constant companions of a shy person. Even if he solves some issues, thanks to his personal qualities and perseverance, he spends an unreasonably large amount of energy on the implementation of his ideas and goals and faces new and new problems.
When a shy young man meets a girl, having overcome his fears, in the relationship itself he still has to learn to trust and open up for a long time, because... Without this, truly deep relationships are impossible.
Sometimes shy people hide their shyness behind a mask of feigned swagger and promiscuity, and the problem only gets worse because those around them cannot understand them at all.
Shyness can be described as feeling awkward and uncomfortable in the presence of others. But it is impossible to accurately formulate this, since shyness manifests itself differently in everyone - from slight excitement and mild embarrassment to deep neurosis.
It can manifest itself as fear of new people, or even of well-known people. More than 80% of people have experienced this feeling. More than 40% consider themselves shy all the time.
Symptoms of shyness in various social situations are redness or paleness of the face, stuttering, palpitations, and that feeling described by many when “the veins are shaking,” “it’s cold inside,” etc.
A well-organized, strong-willed person is able to not show his emotions outwardly, even if he is extremely shy. This comes with the experience of constant training and working on yourself. At the same time, at the very first successful experiences, his self-confidence increases and next time it is much easier for him to cope with shyness.
Many recognized speakers, TV presenters and artists admitted that they were once extremely shy, but through perseverance and strength of character they achieved the exact opposite - no one would even suspect that these people were once afraid of attracting attention to themselves, because attracting attention and sometimes shocking is their profession.
But for the most part, shy people are introverts, and they often choose professions in order to communicate with other people as little as possible. However, many of them are perfectly, masterfully able to communicate when they need it.
Moreover, shy people feel the interlocutor much better, have greater empathy, sensitivity, and are able to empathize better, so they are even significantly superior in their ability to charm and please their absolutely non-shy comrades. Because people who are most capable of introspection and assessment of what is happening are prone to shyness.
Sometimes people for the time being give the impression of being shy, because they have a quiet character and are not very sociable, or they are simply out of place surrounded by alien people, but when a certain situation arises, they reveal themselves as brave, interesting, their speech instantly becomes colorful and confident.
Shyness from the outside is not always assessed categorically as a disadvantage, because it is associated with the charm of youth; shy people are perceived as sensible, capable of introspection, and selectivity.
Reasons for Shyness
The causes of shyness are considered to be both a certain innate character (which, however, is not a sentence, but only a predisposition that can manifest itself under accompanying conditions), and a lack of social skills, a social attitude when living conditions make a person shy.
In addition, psychologists believe that shyness is often a manifestation of unconscious conflicts and is only an imposed “label” of shyness, rather than a real and innate mental problem.
If parents, having noticed only the first prerequisites for shyness in their child, begin day after day to repeat to others: “Oh, he’s so shy,” then the likelihood that they will “fix this result” and the child will really become like that is very high .
If, on the contrary, they inspire their baby (and tell others in front of him!) as often as possible that he is brave, sociable and cheerful, then the child will quickly overcome his fears and the problem of shyness will pass. Parents should not emphasize their child's shyness.
If in a situation where a child is simply tired of saying a dozen times that he is shy, this can become the trigger - children are very suggestible, so it will be. If the child receives support and approval (you are brave, you are sociable, you are so confident), then anxiety will not turn into shyness.
It happens that shyness was formed in a person when he was still a child as a result of the too heavy domineering authoritarian character of one of the parents. Although the factors that can create shyness in a child are not so obvious, the home environment and parental support are primarily the root cause of shyness.
Just as a draft is a provoking phenomenon for the occurrence of colds, but in a situation where a stronger child does not get sick, a weaker one ends up in the hospital with pneumonia, so we can say that shyness is formed from a complex of preconditions that fell on favorable soil.
Excessive criticism, improper upbringing, negative attitudes, lack of parental support are often the same “draft” for a sensitive and vulnerable psyche. A shy person develops a negative attitude towards himself; resentment and anger accumulate in the depths of his soul, which do not find a way out.
How to get rid of shyness
To get rid of this oppressive feeling, you need to be kinder to yourself and allow yourself to be imperfect. As soon as a person realizes that he does not have to be liked by everyone all the time, this ceases to seem so important to him, just as shyness leaves him. After all, why be afraid of what is not so important?
In Orthodoxy, it is believed that shyness comes from pride - that sinful feeling of fixation on oneself, which gives rise to this fear of the negative assessment of others.
If a person evaluates himself adequately and does not try to seem (and not be!) better than he actually is, then he will not be afraid that they will suddenly see in him what he is not. And when he turns his attention to people who need his help and support, or simply thinks about others more than about himself, then the problem of who will think about him and what will not arise. He won't have time for that.
You can seem worse than you are, because the main thing is what kind of person he really is before God - that’s the point. Will a soldier who runs against the enemy feel timid? Or a nurse treating the wounds of seriously ill patients?
There are emotions and events that occur in the life of every person that can overcome any shyness. The main thing is to notice them in time. Pay attention to other people's needs.
It is interesting that in Islam, shyness is a positive, even commendable quality, but is understood somewhat differently, rather as modesty, humility, bashfulness, rather than specifically as a phobia of communicating with other people. In this religion, it is believed that it is shyness that protects a person from crimes and atrocities.
What to do with shyness, if we understand it precisely as fear, painful anxiety in communicating with other people, the inability to build relationships in the best way for oneself, the inability to make any public statements or actions?
How to overcome shyness
First of all, you need to believe that it is quite possible to get rid of shyness. It is quite possible to overcome all those barriers to an active life, self-realization, self-expression - and everything without which a happy and eventful life is unthinkable. A life in which you don’t have to hide and suppress all emotions and impulses.
A person mentally needs to unscrew the “film” in which he was designated as shy (uncommunicative, timid, awkward), throw off negative parental attitudes (if they exist), “labels” and believe that he is confident in himself , sociable and brave.
You must behave as a confident and courageous person would behave, from your gait and appearance to your voice. You can practice in front of a mirror - work on your gestures, speak a little louder, watch your posture.
Auto-training is a great way to help overcome shyness. It is necessary to replace negative attitudes with positive ones (I am confident in myself, I am brave, I am sociable, I will succeed). If you focus your attention on what is happening around you, and not on your internal experiences, this also helps and calms you down very well.
Before an alarming and important event related to communication, it will be much more effective for a shy person to immerse himself in business and solving various problems. Being constantly busy with some important things is already half the solution to the problem of shyness.
If situations involve the need to convey some information to people, then preparing and studying the topic will give you confidence, but there should be no time left to push yourself and worry in vain. After all, it often happens that a person spontaneously acts much more confidently than if he is warned in advance.
A shy person who has to read a report in the audience leaves the house in the morning with shaking hands and an unpleasant chill inside. If this report had been handed to him in a hurry on the spot, he quite possibly would have coped with the task much better.
Although it happens the other way around, a shy person uses the time to prepare - he practices confidence gestures, facial expressions and voice, and this is to his benefit, he strengthens his confidence and the next such performances no longer seem like a disaster to him. It is important not to leave free time in your life for anxiety and worry.
Perhaps many shy people would find it comforting to know that almost all people are as self-centered as they are. Most people will not notice or attach any importance to their shyness, and some will even consider its manifestation a sweet and charming feature.
And, in essence, the task is not to get rid of shyness, but to correct its manifestations in such a way that it is comfortable to live and easy to achieve understanding with the people around you!
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