We have already discussed the management of emotions in some detail on the pages of our website (course “Emotional Intelligence”), but this issue will probably never lose its relevance, and therefore we continue to create materials on this topic.
If you know how to always control yourself and maintain composure, we can only be happy for you. But there are people for whom this is very difficult, and our new article is designed to help them master this skill, which is useful in everyday life.
The ability to restrain emotions (control anger, rage, aggression, etc.) will be useful everywhere: from ordinary communication with family and friends to resolving work issues and conducting business negotiations. Let's figure out how to learn this.
Be aware of your emotions
If you want to learn how to manage your emotions, then first you need to learn to be aware of them. You need to look at any situation that arises in your life objectively and as if from the outside. First, emotionally distance yourself from the problem, analyze exactly what emotions this problem evokes in you, and then mentally or in writing record your conclusions.
Give yourself a full account and be clearly aware of what is happening around you. This can only be done if you do not give in to emotions, but pull yourself together, calm your soul and begin to think rationally. This can be done with the help of special meditation or proper breathing.
“How will I know if I have become aware of my emotions?” - a reasonable question, the answer to which is quite simple to find. If, because of the anger you feel towards a certain person, you could not restrain yourself and spoke with this person in a raised voice, but at the same time thoughts were spinning in your head that you were doing bad again, getting angry over trifles and spoiling yourself nerves, then you can congratulate yourself! You have taken one of the significant steps towards realizing your own emotions! Don't stop there and keep working on yourself!
Why is it so important to be aware of your emotions? The point is that awareness allows you to take responsibility for the emotions and feelings you experience, rather than blaming the other person. Thanks to awareness, emotions can be depersonalized, and emotions that are depersonalized and devoid of individual nuance are much simpler and easier to learn to control.
Disconnect
Thanks to technology, we can always stay connected. It seems as if it should be so. But enjoying peace of mind in your free time is extremely difficult if at any moment an email can change your train of thought.
Regular shutdowns help you control your stress levels and rest. Being in the access zone around the clock, you are only exposed to an inexhaustible stream of stress factors. But if you force yourself to go offline or even turn off your phone, you will allow your head and body to relax.
Studies have shown that simply not checking email on the weekend can help reduce stress.
If you can't ignore work contacts on weekday evenings, then what about the weekends? Choose the right time and protect yourself from business. By incorporating these mental recharges into your weekly schedule, you will be surprised at how refreshing and stress-relieving these breaks are.
If you are worried about negative consequences, try to start by switching off only when the likelihood of someone contacting you is minimal. For example, on Sunday morning. As you begin to get used to such measures, gradually increase the time spent away from technology.
Keep your balance
Emotions are not only possible, but also necessary to regulate. Like the temperature on a thermostat, we can change the temperature of our emotions. Don't forget that you are the master, not the slave, of your inner impulses.
To feel good, calm and harmonious, your emotions should be neither too “hot” nor too “cold”. Look for the golden mean! Only balanced emotions can make you a happy and free person.
Both an excess of positive emotions and excessively depressive or aggressive behavior are not only bad for your health, but also not always appropriate! The pronounced emotions that we all have to experience from time to time disrupt our spiritual harmony and have a very destructive effect on us. This applies to both negative and positive emotions.
To avoid emotional turmoil and overload your nervous system, try to maintain balance. As soon as you feel that some emotion is overwhelming you and will soon cover you completely, focus your attention on something else: do household chores, go to the gym, cook a new dish, or just start counting mentally or out loud from one to until the emotion lets you go.
Physical activity and self-reflection
Playing sports will bring not only physical health, but also mental balance. Spend 30 minutes to 1 hour a day on sports, and your body will quickly cope with negative emotions.
Conduct an internal dialogue, while analyzing everything that happens to you during the day. Ask yourself questions about whether you acted correctly in a given situation, whether you communicated with the right people, whether you had enough time to complete the work. This will help not only to understand yourself, but also in the future to eradicate communication with unnecessary people who cause negativity. Taking inventory of your own emotions, thoughts and goals allows you to fully develop self-control.
Get plenty of rest
A person who does not fully rest becomes irritable, slow, apathetic and angry. Lack of rest makes a person too suspicious and emotional.
A fully rested person, unlike a constantly tired workaholic, has much more internal resources to think about and solve this or that life problem. The more tired we are and the less rest we get, the more the quality of our thinking, through which we process the information received, decreases. If you haven’t had a normal rest for a long time and are experiencing chronic fatigue, then you will simply react emotionally to information received from outside, but you will not be able to draw any conclusions and find the best solution to the problem.
Many people think that rest is some kind of abstract and unnecessary phenomenon, so they often neglect it. But in vain, because it has been scientifically proven that due to fatigue, people react too emotionally to this or that problem, make a lot of serious mistakes and make wrong decisions. People who fully rest and get good sleep control their emotions much better. It is much easier for the latter to become balanced individuals and gain control over their inner impulses.
Psychohygiene and psychoprophylaxis
Mental hygiene is closely related to psychoprophylaxis. The latter’s tasks include preventing the development of mental disorders and preventing the transition of mental illnesses to a chronic form.
Psychoprophylaxis can be primary, secondary and tertiary. Each of them has its own characteristics:
- Primary prevention involves preventing the development of diseases in a healthy population. This is work with risk groups: those who work in dangerous or difficult work, people with somatic diseases, relatives of patients, people of low social level and others.
- Secondary psychoprophylaxis implies early detection and elimination of diseases, preventing their transition to a chronic form, and preventing relapses.
- Tertiary psychoprophylaxis involves working with seriously ill people to prevent their disability and prevent the development of complications.
Psychoprophylaxis of childhood and adolescence, late age, family and sexual life are separately distinguished.
Don't make excuses for yourself
Emotionally unstable people who cannot control their inner impulses begin to justify their actions. They claim that they behave so emotionally because they have such a character, it is characteristic of their essence, the weather outside does not meet their requirements, the tram did not arrive on time, not one, but several black cats crossed the road, etc.
All these external aspects affect a person in a certain way, but they do not affect him so much as to become an excuse for the fact that he does not know how to control himself and his emotions.
As soon as some emotion begins to overwhelm you, do not look for excuses in the outside world, but look at yourself from the outside and think about what factor you are reacting to so violently and why this is happening. Once you get to the bottom of the source of negative emotions and put everything into perspective, you can begin to solve the problem that has arisen, and not think that the stars, magnetic storms or careless drivers are to blame.
Unfinished business and debts
Complete all planned tasks in a short time, do not leave the work unfinished - this can cause delays in deadlines, thereby provoking negative emotions. Also, “tails” can be reproached, pointing out your incompetence.
In financial terms, try to avoid late payments and debts - this is exhausting and prevents you from achieving your goal. Understanding that you have not repaid a debt to someone causes negativity and helplessness in the face of current circumstances.
The absence of debts, both financial and other, allows you to fully spend your own energy resources and strength, directing them to the realization of desires. A sense of duty, on the contrary, is an obstacle to mastering self-control and achieving success. How to learn to restrain emotions and control yourself? Eliminate debts in a timely manner.
Take a little break
If you feel like a teapot that is about to boil, then you should take a short break to cool down, because this condition is very dangerous for both physical and mental health.
Do not react immediately to a situation that causes you negative emotions. Think about how this situation can be resolved. Come up with several options, and then choose the one that is most optimal for you.
To learn to control your emotions, you should remember that you first need to cool down and calm down, and only then can you begin to solve the problem. Analyze the situation objectively, look at it not as a direct participant, but as an outside observer on whom this situation has no influence and for whom it does not evoke any feelings.
If you make a hasty decision under the influence of emotions, you will later experience a bitter and unpleasant feeling of regret. By taking a short break, you can focus your attention on those details that go unnoticed during an emotional outburst.
The result of mental hygiene
As we have already said, information and education are the main means of mental hygiene. Therefore, its result is considered to be the psychohygienic competence of people. It consists of the following elements:
- Beliefs about improving and maintaining health, treating health as the highest value, motivation to lead a healthy lifestyle.
- Knowledge, skills and abilities that help to cope with stress factors and minimize the impact of psychological trauma.
- Focus on self-development, learning and unlocking personal potential, teaching self-control and self-regulation.
- Practical actions aimed at improving health, developing sanogenic thinking, and correcting lifestyle.
Start keeping a diary
This exercise may seem strange to some. What does a diary have to do with emotions? Very direct! Journaling will help you learn to control your emotions and control your anger. Buy a beautiful notebook or notebook, and write “Diary of my emotions” on the cover. As soon as some negative or positive emotion begins to overwhelm you, immediately open your diary and write down in it everything you feel at the moment.
If you are experiencing a negative emotion, then first share with your diary everything that is boiling inside, and then switch to the positive: realize why you had this or that emotion, how you reacted to this or that remark, why you reacted that way and etc. As soon as you get rid of the emotion and its pressure, then remember and write down in your diary all the good things that happened to you during the day, and those events that caused you joy, happiness, laughter, etc.
Keep things in perspective
The reason for our worries often lies in a distorted perception of events. Before you waste a lot of time analyzing your boss's instructions from the last meeting, take a minute to see the whole picture. You can resort to this method when the level of anxiety does not correspond to the real reasons for it.
If you find yourself thinking superficially, then try to rethink the situation. The best way to get rid of this line of thinking is to list the things that actually went wrong. Most likely, you will count one or two points and not bury the whole idea.
To stay calm, it is important to understand that feelings often distort the situation, and the scale of the problem may not be as significant as it seems.
Don't deify your emotions
All the emotions you experience are a normal reaction of the nervous system to one or another external stimulus. All chemical processes are a completely normal and familiar phenomenon that occurs in your body, and not some divine manifestations of an intangible nature.
Emotions can be compared to shortcuts on our desktop, which, like interface elements, are necessary for us to interact with the system more easily and productively. With just a few clicks, you are taken to the desired location in your computer system. Both emotions and computer shortcuts, showing us the shortest path, lead us to our destination.
If emotions did not exist, instantaneous decision-making would become confusing, complex, and incomprehensible. Without emotions, all decisions will look exactly the same to us, because any possible development of events will be absolutely indifferent and unnecessary to us.
If people did not experience any emotions, then they would not be able to work productively, enjoy life, set and achieve goals, complete assigned tasks, etc. If you deprive a person of all feelings and emotions, then his life will turn into hell, where every previous day will be no different from every subsequent day.
If you deify emotions, treat them as divine revelation and mindlessly follow their call, you will never be able to make your life simpler and easier.
What emotions require control?
We all know that emotions can be positive and negative. And, it would seem, if we could leave only positive ones and “throw away” negative ones, our life could become much better. But this is only an appearance, because even positive emotions can do us a disservice - for example, driving us into a trap of pleasure.
It is necessary to control emotions that cause suffering and pain to a person and people close to him. These are the emotions that force you to do what you don’t like, what is bad. Simply put, we need to manage states and feelings that deprive us of freedom of choice.
For example, if a person is very sociable, energetic and cheerful, he may have bad luck at work. This means that your manifestations in those places where such behavior is unacceptable must be kept under control. Otherwise, these positive emotions can lead to serious troubles and problems.
But, naturally, it is negative states that are subject to main control. Conventionally, they can be divided into three levels:
- Ego. This is a hidden part of the human personality. Its manifestations may not always be recognized immediately not only by those around them, but also by the people themselves. Emotions arising from the ego include joy from superiority over others, universal recognition, privileges, praise, and increased attention to one’s own person. This also includes a constant thirst for more (profit, wealth, etc.), envy, pride, narcissism, selfishness, vanity, resentment, gloating, boasting, etc. The ego is the support and the most powerful source of many emotional states.
- Weaknesses. Another source of emotions that need to be controlled. Let us list the main emotions, feelings and qualities of this level: lack of self-control and weak willpower, weak character and laziness, melancholy, despondency and sadness, painful passivity and constant shyness, lack of independence, depression, thoughtlessness in decisions and actions, cowardice, anxiety, fear, dependence from other people. Any situations when we don’t want to pull ourselves together, cope with difficulties, hang our heads, complain, etc. serve as a manifestation of our weakness.
- Thirst for sensations. Life without emotions and experiences will become boring and faceless, but they, like everything else, should be in moderation. What can be attributed to the thirst for experiences? This is lust and constant attraction to the opposite sex, gambling addiction, thirst for thrills and an increased need for adrenaline, bad habits, drug addiction, gluttony, etc. For many people, conditions and emotions of this particular level are the most painful - they cannot cope with them, and even if they want to stop striving for these pleasures, they are not able to do so.
These three levels give rise to the lion's share of emotions that you need to learn to control. Think about whether they are familiar to you, whether there are times when you suffer from them, whether you want to cope with them. And if you answered yes, the following recommendations are especially for you.
Meditate
Meditation will not only clear your head of negative thoughts, restore mental balance, develop willpower and improve your quality of life, but also teach you to control your emotions. Any emotion is your reaction to one or another event happening in your life. All emotions begin with your thoughts. First you thought, and only then you felt.
Thanks to meditation, you will achieve a state of spiritual harmony, peace and a sober mind. Several meditation sessions a week will teach you to fight passions, avoid vices and take control of your feelings and emotions. With the help of meditation, you will get rid of the emotional veil and be able to look at yourself and your life objectively.
We recommend: Meditation before bed. 5 effective techniques
Don't hold grudges
They also cause stress. By simply remembering something to be offended about, you put your body into fight-or-flight mode—a survival mechanism that prepares the body to fight or run away from a threat. When danger is in front of you, this reaction saves lives. But if the threat has long passed, then stress maintained by memories only causes damage to the body and can have a destructive effect.
Researchers from Emory University (USA) have proven that prolonged emotional stress increases blood pressure and contributes to the development of heart disease. By holding onto resentment, you accumulate stress. People with high emotional intelligence avoid this state at all costs. By letting go of the grudge, you will not only feel better, but also improve your health.
Say no to emotional overload
The strong emotions that you have to experience if you don’t know how to control yourself cause emotional overload, which negatively affects your body and worsens your health!
If you are so overwhelmed by a feeling that your breathing and heartbeat become faster, your knees begin to tremble, your body sweats excessively, and you experience nausea and dizziness, then this indicates that you have become a victim of emotional overload.
Don't give up and don't get discouraged! Don't go with the flow and don't become a slave to your own emotions! First divide all the information received into several parts, and then begin to analyze them. If you can’t do this mentally, then don’t be too lazy to pick up a pen and write everything down in a notebook.
Once you begin to analyze and consider the information received from all sides, you will be able to come to your senses and take control of your emotions. You will be able to evaluate the results obtained soberly and objectively, and the decision you make in a normal emotional state will be truly rational and effective.
The meaning of a person's emotional state
Certain responses can serve as an incentive for people to take action. Your emotional state affects relationships with others, so for successful socialization you need to be able to subtly sense the mood of your interlocutor.
Communication with a psychologist
Strong manifestations of feelings inspire creative people to create their masterpieces. A person becomes more receptive to the world around him. Therefore, it is impossible to completely suppress feelings and not express your thoughts.
Controlling emotions is not only the key to successful communication. A person learns to monitor his facial expressions, gestures, behavior, begins to better understand the inner world of others and create a favorable environment. Self-correction teaches you to concentrate on solving important problems and pleasant emotions. Managing your thoughts, experiences and other manifestations of feelings is one of the sections of mental hygiene.
Start living a healthy lifestyle
Our lifestyle affects our emotions in the most direct way. If you want to learn to control your emotions, then be sure to reconsider your lifestyle. Avoid fatty and heavy foods, alcoholic beverages, smoking and other bad habits. Start exercising, eating right and going to bed on time. Spend more time on your spiritual growth and personal development.
Find a hobby that will become your outlet. If at school you attended a young naturalist club and loved picking mushrooms, then why not now go into the forest and enjoy communion with nature? A hobby will help you forget about problems and worries, give you the opportunity to escape from routine and everyday hustle and bustle, and will help develop willpower and increase vitality.
How to cope with feelings and not be nervous when there are children in the family
Of course, when there are children in a family, the nervous situation in the family may not be the best for their subsequent psychological development. In the presence of children, it is especially important to control your emotions!
Techniques to cope with excessive emotionality
Identification technique.
It can help in some peak situations when you need to control yourself. In such cases, it is useful to imagine yourself not as yourself, but as someone else. You can try on the image of some hero or person you want to be like in such moments. Accordingly, you should react and act in the same way as the person with whom you identify yourself would do. The method is quite suitable for creative people with a developed imagination.
Self-hypnosis technique.
You can easily use a simplified self-hypnosis technique. At the right moment, you should say certain attitudes to yourself: “I am in control of myself,” “I am invulnerable and calm,” “Nothing will make me angry,” and the like.
Books for parents on managing emotions
If you understand that your family members are not always able to cope with the intensity of any emotions, then, of course, it makes sense to read the literature that teaches how to cope with the manifestation of negativity.
Which books should you pay special attention to? You may like the technique that Richard Fitfield offers in his work “Managing Emotions. Creating harmonious relationships." You can also find a lot of useful information in the book “New Positive Psychology: A Scientific View of Happiness and the Meaning of Life” (Seligman Martin E.P.). Many parents can be helped in managing emotions by the work of Capponi V. and Novak T. “Your own psychologist” or Rainwater J. “It’s in your power. How to become your own psychotherapist."
Useful tips
Managing emotions does not need to be presented as a particularly difficult task, however, you should not attach any importance to it either. Often, it is difficult to achieve the set goal for people who have already missed the moment of the emotion’s emergence, who have not warned it and the actions of their interlocutors who created these emotions.
It is easy for an experienced specialist to understand whether a person is able to keep his emotions under control by studying his “body language”. If a person is calm, his body is relaxed and collected, he is probably able to master his state at the right moment. If a person’s movements are chaotic, his gaze is uncertain or wandering, then, apparently, it is not easy for him to cope with possible negative reactions. Also, a specialist can give a very disappointing assessment to a person whose body is very tense, tense, or seems to be “shaking.” What is meant by the last definition? “Jerking” is characterized by uncontrollable tension running through the body - this can be twitching of fingers, lips, muscles around the eyes, and so on. These symptoms can be controlled by practicing “quiet presence,” which is specifically mentioned in this article.
There is one more important condition when managing emotions - you should learn to relax yourself in various conditions and situations. Always make sure that your body is in a calm state - this skill will provide you with wonderful results.
Develop and train willpower
Thanks to willpower, you can easily and simply learn to control your emotions. Willpower is your internal resource, with the help of which you will manage not only your emotions and body, but also change your life for the better.
Emotions, like drugs, tempt us, cause addiction and turn us into slaves. Willpower helps you overcome this temptation.
You can develop willpower through asceticism, meditation, sports, planning your day, maintaining personal hygiene, maintaining order around yourself, fighting gastronomic weaknesses, getting rid of bad habits, etc.
What does psychology say?
Psychologists advise not to hold back your emotions, but not to throw them out on others. There are other ways to learn to control and restrain your emotions that are productive:
- projecting feelings onto a piece of paper;
- use of anti-stress coloring books;
- a good way to relieve stress is to play sports or work associated with physical activity;
- watching your favorite movie or reading a book;
- relaxation accompanied by suitable music or an audiobook.
Psychologists advise finding a hobby so that a person has something to do that brings him pleasure. Experts recommend sharing your experiences with loved ones (wife, husband, parents, friends), who can provide not only moral support, but also give practical advice.
Learn to breathe correctly
Emotional overload directly affects the heart and muscles. If you are experiencing a strong emotional shock, then after a while you will feel tired, overwhelmed and exhausted. To learn to control your emotions and avoid becoming a victim of another emotional overload, you should start practicing deep and slow breathing.
A special breathing technique will not only help you relax and take control of your emotions, but will also saturate your brain with oxygen. As soon as you feel that your emotions are getting the better of you and you can’t think about anything else, then find a secluded place where no one will disturb you, close your eyes and start breathing slowly through your nose.
✔ Each breath should last at least 5 – 7 seconds. After inhaling, hold your breath for a few seconds and then exhale slowly. Each exhalation, like inhalation, should last at least 5 – 7 seconds. Do 10–12 repetitions or breathe slowly until you calm down and begin to think soberly.
How to deal with growing emotions
When you feel that an emotion is about to spill out, the best thing you can do is stop, withdraw from the activity or communication. The easiest way is to say that you need to go to the restroom and leave. Saying that you need to think about it may raise doubts and questions. Find your best option to switch off from communication and turn your attention to your body, inside yourself. Most likely, you will immediately feel that everything inside is knocking, burning, getting cold, trembling... Feel what is happening to you and try to relax your muscles with each exhalation.
At the same time, you can ask yourself:
- What am I going through?
- Why am I worried?
- Is there really something threatening here?
- Am I really losing something here?
And the easiest way to calm down is to go out, sit down and breathe from the bottom of your belly. Inhale - stick your stomach out, exhale - slowly draw it in. As your attention is drawn to the movements of the abdomen, the mind will gradually calm down and you will “fly out” of all emotional issues. You can also use any simple activity - draw something, do light exercise, pet an animal...
Take actions that are opposite to the emotion that arises
To learn to control emotions, you need to do the opposite of what the emotion provokes you to do. If you feel angry towards some person, then do not give in to the emotion and do not shout at this person, but smile at him and wish him a good day.
If your pride suffers from the fact that someone turned out to be faster, stronger, taller, more successful, happier or simply better than you, then do not envy this person, but sincerely praise him and rejoice at his success.
If you have become a victim of apathy, despondency or laziness, then get off the couch, leave the apartment and start doing something useful.
If some emotion has overwhelmed you and you rush to the phone to call your friend, relative or colleague and tell about all this in great detail, then take up meditation and do everything possible to get rid of the emotion without outside help.
If you are unable to take an action opposite to the emotion that has arisen, then try to simply ignore this emotion. Act as if you are not experiencing this emotion right now.
Controlling emotions: exercises
The exercises presented below can be performed at any time when you need to control your emotions, i.e. in real time. Traditionally, they are suitable for negative emotions, but for variety and to hone the skill, you can practice them while experiencing positive emotions. We will offer four exercises in total:
- The first exercise is to replace any negative emotions with positive ones, for example, anger and malice with joy and laughter. For example, you are arguing with a person, and the atmosphere is becoming increasingly tense. At the moment of apogee, when emotions are rushing out, tell the person something that he does not expect to hear at all. For example, you can say to your loved one: “You are so dear to me” or “I love you.” If this is a friend, say: “You are the best friend in the world!” Answer your boss: “You are a very cool leader.” But be careful that it doesn’t look like a mockery. Having done everything correctly, you will instantly extinguish emotions – both yours and your interlocutor’s.
- The second exercise is a variation of the first, but it is designed more to change your own state. At the moment when you realize that you are unable to contain negative emotions and a corresponding reaction is about to follow, transform it into the exact opposite. If something annoying and very unpleasant has happened, and you want to “erupt in thunder,” make an effort and smile, laugh, jump for joy. Think about what good can come out of the situation and start enjoying it like a child. Do the same with other negative emotions.
- The third exercise is journaling. It may seem unusual, but it is very helpful in controlling emotions and controlling anger. Buy a notebook and make it an “emotion diary.” Whenever you feel yourself starting to get angry, sad, guilty, or resentful, sit down in a chair or at a table and start writing. But write not what worries you, but on the contrary - all the good things that happened during the day, what is in your life, what you are happy about. Switch from negative to positive. You will begin to think in a different direction, and your mood will begin to change. Save your notes, and in moments of the next negative experience, make new ones and re-read old ones. As a result, your “emotion diary” will be filled with a lot of pleasant impressions and memories that will help you control your emotions better and better.
- The fourth exercise allows you to neutralize negative emotions or at least minimize their manifestation and impact on the psyche. It is similar to the previous one, but if then you wrote down all the good events in your diary, now you are throwing out on paper everything that worries you. You don’t need a diary for this - you just take paper and pen and write everything that comes to your mind. After you have expressed all your thoughts, take this piece of paper and burn it, imagining that all negative emotions turn into ashes. You can also use one more variation: divide the sheet into two parts, where the first will contain bad emotions, and the second will contain the opposite good ones. Then cut the sheet, burn the “bad” half, and keep the “good” half for yourself and re-read it several times, concentrating on the positive. This exercise will help you endure bad events more easily, restrain your emotions, and endure anger.
We hope that our article, although it did not open your eyes to the importance and features of managing emotions, has expanded your knowledge and given food for thought. The only other thing we can advise is to try with all your being to accept the idea that you are capable of becoming the master of your feelings and emotions, stop being their slave and follow their lead. We wish you to always believe in yourself and, looking in the mirror, see in the reflection a successful, joyful and satisfied person with life. And finally, some more advice from psychologists. Good luck!
We also recommend reading:
- Storytelling
- Emotional regulation
- How to express your emotions without becoming a manipulator
- Emotions and health: how they are interconnected
- How to develop self-control and self-discipline
- Self-control and how to develop it
- Emotional management: what is it and how to learn it
- Self-control: what it is and how to develop it
- Emotional Labor
- 5 Signs You're a Slave to Your Emotions
- Mindfulness and its benefits
Key words:1Psychoregulation
Stop hanging out with toxic people
Why do you need to limit or completely stop communicating with toxic people? The fact is that people have the ability to transfer their emotions to other people. And if you communicate with positive and pleasant interlocutors, then your mood improves noticeably, and you yourself begin to feel much better.
Constant communication with toxic and negative people can turn the most cheerful optimist into a grumbler dissatisfied with anyone and nothing who looks at the world through the prism of the darkest pessimism. If you want to learn to control your emotions and be in harmony with yourself and the outside world, then you should definitely refuse to communicate with such people. If you can’t completely cut off the connection, then do everything possible to reduce communication with the toxic person to a minimum.
Practice meditation
Self-mindfulness is a simple, research-backed form of meditation that can help you control recalcitrant thoughts and actions. People who practice it concentrate better even when they are not meditating. This technique is great for dealing with stress because it suppresses the feeling of being out of control.
Self-awareness prevents you from spontaneously switching between thoughts, which helps you refrain from negative reasoning. This is a good way to cope with work life while remaining calm and productive.
Think about the solution, not the problem
If some difficult situation has arisen in your life, it will definitely cause a certain negative reaction in you. The more you think about the problem, the more you chew “mental gum” and think about this or that aspect of the current situation, the more negative emotions will take over you. Thoughts about a problem most often cause anger, anger, disappointment, sadness, sadness, etc. It is quite normal to experience such emotions in this case, but very ineffective.
You shouldn’t dwell on the problem, because the current situation can no longer be changed. There's no time machine that can take you back in time, so it's worth thinking about what you'll do in the future. Don't think about the problem, think about how to solve it.
Start making a list of all possible solutions to the problem! While you are thinking about your next course of action, emotions will no longer be a priority for you. You will be able to soberly assess the current situation and find the strength to move on.
How to contain aggression
Having understood the causes of irritation, it will be easier for a person to restrain anger and aggression. Become aware of negative emotions. This way you will take control of them into your own hands. Take a deep breath and count to ten. This will distract you and relieve some stress.
Listen to your opponent and consider his words. Perhaps there is some common sense in them. Try to understand the motives.
At this stage, most already manage to manage anger and irritation. Ask yourself “what is the best way out of the situation?” Calmly and confidently offer a solution to the conflict.
