Agree, being an attractive woman is not so easy. Many, having heard this statement, compare it only with external beauty. But such a concept is far from correct and is a delusion. Yes, external factors play an important role, but being charming only based on external criteria is not always enough. It is very important to be able to express yourself and arouse general interest in your person. Then the external appearance often fades into the background, and the woman becomes interesting for her inner beauty.
So how to become attractive and be able to hold the gaze of men? Any girl needs to work on herself, be able to present herself and learn to emphasize her attractiveness. If you really want people to be attracted to you, then you need to have a lot of tricks in your arsenal. This is the only way you can achieve more.
If you look at the facts in numbers, more than 50% of a man’s first impression is taken up by a person’s external beauty. About 40% of the total number of respondents talk about the importance of communication style, but only 7% pay attention to topics of conversation. So what exactly is important? How to become beautiful and attractive in the eyes of men?
Develop your confidence
Understanding confidence can be tricky. If you are overly confident, you can easily come across as vain, pompous, or arrogant. However, lack of self-confidence will make you appear shy or generally insecure.
A confident man knows his strengths and weaknesses and is not afraid to manage them.
For example, a confident man will make eye contact, smile, and approach without fear. You can “fake it until you make it” or pre-register for an interpersonal communication course in your city if you want to boost your confidence.
Pay attention to the girls from “your league”
Most often, people look for a companion based on their own attractiveness. Researchers from the University of California, Barkley discovered an interesting detail when they observed the behavior of 60 men and women looking for a romantic partner on a dating site. Most people liked the physical beauty of members of the opposite sex.
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However, when it came to dating, they sent a request to a person approximately equal to themselves in terms of attractiveness. Psychologists explain this by saying that people intuitively do not want to be rejected. If a person looks much better than you, you experience fear of being rejected. If it's less beautiful, you're concerned that it's not a good choice.
Be honest and open
A woman is much more worried than she seems about the fact that she caught you lying on the first date. Even if it is something insignificant, for example, what sport did you play in school. Lying will make you look bad in her eyes and will completely push you away.
A liar is unattractive. If you have a habit of frequently lying or embellishing with fabrications, even small details, stop. You also need to be open-minded.
If you are uncomfortable talking about the mundane details of your life and have nothing to brag about, well, practice as much as possible. You don't have to reveal your secrets or overshare them, but being able to talk without awkward silences or a "sheer wall of protection" will put the girl you're dating at ease.
Do volunteer work
A 2013 study by UK researchers found that women found men more attractive if they volunteered.
About 30 women viewed the man's image with a brief description of his hobbies, which sometimes included volunteering. The same procedure was repeated for 30 men who looked at a photograph of a woman. They then all rated how attractive they found the person in the photo to be in a short- and long-term relationship.
Both sexes rated the person in the photo as more attractive for a long-term relationship if he was described as a volunteer—but the effect was stronger for women rating men.
Work on your appearance
No, you don't have to look like a bodybuilder or a movie star! (Although, to be fair, it does help) However, you are capable of doing your best.
Improve your haircut, update your wardrobe if necessary and choose the right men's perfume. If you smoke, visit your dentist and have your teeth whitened. Make sure that the interior of your car, apartment or house and clothes do not smell of tobacco.
If you have acne or other skin problems, see a dermatologist. If you need to lose some weight, consider joining a gym or playing active games to help shed a few extra pounds. You don't have to look perfect, you just need to look like a man who is not ashamed of his appearance.
Eat some garlic
The smell of garlic from the mouth is considered to be a sure killer of any romance. However, a series of recent studies conducted by researchers at Charles University, the National Institute of Mental Health in the Czech Republic and the University of Stirling in the UK have offered a very different take on the story.
In one study, eight men ate a piece of bread with cheese and 12 grams of fresh garlic; the other eight ate bread and cheese without garlic. For the next 12 hours, the men wore cotton pads under their arms and were ordered to refrain from wearing any deodorant or perfume.
The next day, all the men returned to the lab, where 40 women sniffed their linings and rated the scent on pleasantness, attractiveness, masculinity and intensity. The results demonstrated that the garlic group was rated as more pleasant and attractive, and less masculine and intense.
Think about what questions you will ask
Polite society dictates that we shouldn't discuss religion or politics with strangers, but there are some issues you'll want to discuss when meeting a lady on your first few dates.
Of course, if you're very active in your church or heavily involved in politics, you can mention those interests, but don't go too deep into the topics. If she says that she is divorced, do not ask for details, the time will come and you will definitely find out everything soon.
If she says she can't have children or doesn't want them, take the information at face value. Don't be tempted to ask her about her family if she's not raising them. Questions and the ability to ask them are a great way to get to know someone better, but asking the wrong questions can end the meeting and end in silent silence with a stony face and the only question in your head - what's next?
It's better to ask about her hobbies, pets, books, music and other light topics if you are afraid of starting an inappropriate conversation. Ask simple questions and try to avoid standard interview questions.
Let's sum it up
To become more confident and active in bed, you need to understand what exactly is the reason for your stiffness. If the problem is psychological pressures, it is recommended to work through them energetically on your own, with a partner or under the guidance of a specialist (psychologist, sexologist). If the problem is the presence of inflammatory diseases of the pelvic organs, you must first cure them.
Sources:
- GENDER APPROACH IN PSYCHOLOGICAL RESEARCH OF MODERN FAMILY RELATIONS. Kletsina I. S. // Bulletin of Leningrad State University. A.S. Pushkin. – 2011. – From 107-119.
- CODEPENDENCY: ON THE PSYCHOLOGY OF RELATIONS OF SPOUSES IN UNREGISTERED MARRIAGE. Melikhova N.N. // Bulletin of the Kazan Technological University. – 2010. – P. 95-102.
- THEORETICAL FOUNDATIONS OF THE PSYCHOLOGY OF GENDER RELATIONS. Kletsina I. S. // News of the Russian State Pedagogical University. A.I. Herzen. – 2003. – P. 154-166.
- Gender in psychology: history, approaches, problems. Khodyreva N.V. // Bulletin of St. Petersburg University. Ser. 6. Vol. 2. - 1998. No. 13. - P. 74–82.
- The study of sex differences as a direction of gender research in psychology. Kletsina I. S. // Society in a gender perspective: Sat. articles. Comp. E. G. Lukovitskaya. Velikiy Novgorod. - 2002. - pp. 32–37.
- Gender research in Russian psychology: history of development and theoretical approaches. Kletsina I. S. // Woman. Education. Democracy. Proceedings of the 3rd International Interdisciplinary Scientific and Practical Conference (December 8–9, 2000). Minsk. - 2001. - pp. 168–177.
Develop your manners
An attractive man knows how to be polite and kind to the wait staff, does not keep his elbows on the table and chews with his mouth closed. At that time, you should not act as if your grandmother is on a date with you. You definitely don't want to use a brash tone, jargon, street slang, or otherwise act unkindly.
When she speaks, watch her face, don't interrupt, and keep your voice at an acceptable volume for the venue. Put your phone on silent in your pocket and pay attention to her. Manners and politeness are attractive qualities that girls will immediately notice and appreciate.
Walk the dog
Whenever a girl sees a man walking with a pet in the park, she regards him as a potential beau, loving, faithful, kind and caring.
All these qualities attract representatives of the fair half of humanity for long-term relationships. And the dog that accompanies you will add bonuses in the form of your relaxation, availability and a happy expression on your face.
Set long term goals
A person who knows what he wants from life radiates confidence and happiness, regardless of gender. Although you don't have to share your personal family goals, such as marriage and children, at the beginning of the relationship. You can talk about other long-term goals you're trying to achieve. Such goals may include:
Your career growth. Not in terms of a higher salary, but in terms of what you hope to achieve in your field of study that you strive to complete, or the top of the career ladder that you want to climb.
Personal goals. You could go hiking on a mountain trail, learn a musical instrument, or write a novel.
Your goal is to make a personal contribution that makes the world or society as a whole a better place. This could be a desire to volunteer a certain number of hours per year, raising funds for a specific project, or developing a product that advances technology in developing countries.
A person who does not have long-term goals appears aimless or apathetic towards his life. Even if goals seem silly, they show that you have a plan and desire to achieve something.
Men have many emotional needs
I'm sure many men measure their love for a woman by passion and desire. Initially, they are looking for her attention, sympathy, company and, possibly, intimacy. But the danger is that, having satisfied his initial passion, a man may lose interest in a woman. It is at this stage that he begins to doubt his love and look for other partners who can awaken his desires.
It's even harder for women to understand that men's needs change over time. While looking for passion at first, a man may later become tired of this storm of emotions. Men who wanted stability in relationships and received it begin to complain of boredom. In addition, sometimes men, feeling love and a desire to become even closer, are afraid of the responsibility that long-term relationships imply.
So what should a wise woman do with a man’s ever-changing desires and a passion that fades away so quickly?
Show that you have feelings
The days of the silent macho man are long gone. Modern girls like men who are not afraid to hold babies, pet puppies in their arms and admit that they cried at the end of the Titanic.
Accepting that you have emotions and are not afraid to express them in an acceptable way (without whining all the time) is the hallmark of a well-adjusted man, which in turn attracts women and tells her that she will be comfortable with you.
How important is inner beauty?
It has already been mentioned that when meeting a woman, most men first pay attention to the external characteristics of their interlocutor. He may be very fascinated by external beauty, but often, after talking for a few minutes, his opinion can radically change. This is influenced by the inner beauty of a person.
For example, a girl showed up in communication as selfish, envious or narcissistic. And the image of external beauty in the eyes of a man begins to break down. He already sees flaws in him, the woman is no longer as perfect as she was originally.
Or vice versa, an outwardly not very attractive girl opens up on the other side after communicating with her. Having gotten to know her better, you stop noticing external flaws, since you evaluate her with your inner gaze. Therefore, it is very important to achieve consistency and harmony in the manifestations of femininity in everything. This is the secret of how to become attractive to men.
What does a woman's inner beauty consist of? These are charisma, intelligence, a sense of confidence and determination, the ability to carry on a conversation and much more. All this helps to reveal inner attractiveness.
9 tips to help achieve harmony between internal and external
Every woman has several commandments in her arsenal. They help you become attractive to guys. Let's look at 9 basic commandments, which include not only maintaining internal beauty, but also external beauty.
- Love your look
. Learn to accept yourself as you are. Even if you know that your waist size is not ideal, you should not focus on this problem. Yes, you are not the standard, but you have beautiful hair, a healthy complexion and you love yourself for who you are. This will give you confidence. An insecure woman looks different. Her demeanor and external features of her face and figure change. This cannot go unnoticed by the surrounding boys or men. Therefore, it is important to love yourself - and this will be appreciated by increased attention to you. - Be yourself
. A woman who knows her worth does not need to imitate anyone. Think about a party. Which girl will guys be attracted to? To a person with unique, but not frightening manifestations, or to a simpleton who behaves like most of those present? The eyes of almost all guys will be on the first one, and it is she who will arouse interest. This is a psychological point and should be remembered. - Monitor your skin health and condition
. While trying to improve your inner attractiveness, do not forget to monitor and maintain your outer charm. A woman should always radiate beauty and health. - Another way to look attractive in appearance is the beauty of your hair
. A haircut should always look aesthetically pleasing. Oily hair and overgrown roots do not attract, but repel men's gaze from you. - Stop being rude
. Always behave politely in any situation. Rudeness in communication repels the interlocutor. But at the same time, learn to fight back those whose rudeness is directed against you. A woman who allows rudeness towards her will never look charming in the eyes of others. Therefore, it is necessary to learn to resist rudeness gracefully. Remember: sometimes the best weapon is politeness. - Good mood and smile
. Psychologists say that a smiling person looks attractive and predisposes others to like him. Learn to smile just like that. They greeted you - smile and say: “Good afternoon!” Don't frown! This will make you more interesting and enjoyable. - Take part in conversations
. How to look attractive in the eyes of men - know how to carry on a conversation. Don't be afraid to join the conversation. They will immediately pay attention to you and become interested in your person. No one will ever look in your direction if you sit silently in the corner. Such women are perceived by men as boring and do not arouse their interest. If you are new to the topic of conversation, ask a question that interests you. This will draw attention to your person. - Learn to accept compliments
. The words a man says about her beauty help a woman become more charming. And it is very important to be able to accept these phrases. Only a woman with complete confidence and self-love will always respond correctly to a man’s compliment. You shouldn’t say words like: “Oh, what are you talking about! In fact, this is such makeup!” This pushes you away and discourages the opposite sex from communicating with you. It’s enough just to thank you for the nice words addressed to you. - Use your voice
. This is the last of the 9 commandments, helping a woman to be more interesting to the opposite sex. Numerous psychological studies have proven that men are attracted to girls with high notes in their voices. They associate this on a subconscious level with the small physique of a representative of the opposite sex, which they cannot help but like.
Using the listed 9 ways to become beautiful and attractive in the eyes of men, any woman can achieve success. But it is worth noting that this will require some effort on your part, since changing a certain set of habits is not so easy, but it is possible if desired. Therefore, take these 9 points into account and make them a reality. And very soon you will begin to notice the exciting glances of men on you. In addition, this technique will help you be more confident, and you will begin to live life to the fullest.
Improve your body language
No matter your height, you need to stand up straight. If you are noticeably taller than your future life partner, do not loom over her or fill her space. Talk to yourself alone in front of the mirror, look at your own facial expression and gestures.
Walk in front of a full-length mirror and take a close look at how you move.
Having a confident posture can increase testosterone levels and also help with problems such as back pain. If you're looking for tips on body language, the topic is covered in depth across many popular media formats.
How to choose women's courses and trainings on sexuality?
Decide for yourself what you want to get from such courses. If you don’t know what exactly you want, look at the catalog of the Best women's courses and trainings in St. Petersburg .
To do this, carefully read the course programs, reviews and compare them with your desires.
After you have set a goal and found a course for it, look at the teacher. His professionalism is critically important in sexuality courses!
Such trainings work with your head, with your inner self, and trusting yourself to an amateur is simply dangerous.
If you come to a course consisting of several classes, then after the first lesson you should feel comfortable. The atmosphere and feeling you get from such courses are no less important than the knowledge.
Avoid being "aggressive"
The vast majority of pickup trucks and related sites talk about how girls love aggressive men. While it's true that some women find something primal attractive about this, the rest of the majority find the approach creepy and incredibly offensive.
If you try to take her hand and she pulls away, let go. If she doesn't want to give you her phone number, politely decline the conversation and go on your way.
If you're standing next to her and she backs away, don't invade her space anymore. You want to be confident and friendly, not creepy.
Respect her limits and watch her body language. Aggressive behavior can get you slapped or thrown out of a bar. It's not worth it. You need a girl who is receptive to you.
External beauty: is it so important?
This question is always relevant and causes a storm of disagreement and many opinions. Most psychologists claim that attractive appearance has its advantages. For example, when talking with a person with regular and symmetrical facial features and a healthy complexion, there is always a feeling of trust in what is being said. Her words are heard more convincingly. But at the same time, the same psychologists argue that a woman does not have to be beautiful to become attractive to the opposite sex.
There are some points that are scientifically proven and help make guys interested in a girl.
- Make friends with your dentist. Numerous studies conducted by British psychological universities have proven that straight, healthy teeth make a woman more attractive to men. This is inherent at the subconscious level of a person. We directly associate teeth with genetics and are an indicator of good health. This cannot but affect the general perception of a woman. But it should be clarified that this is the effect of teeth with a natural shade, and not “Hollywood” smiles with a bright white color, which in many cases are repulsive.
- Lead the right lifestyle. To be attractive and have a healthy appearance, follow the rules of a healthy lifestyle: give up fast foods, eat more vegetables and fruits, play sports, drink enough fluids, sleep at least 8 hours a day, find your hobby or passion, read books and develop yourself. This helps a woman maintain her natural beauty and makes her life as full as possible with new emotions and impressions.
Take these simple two rules into account. By following them, you will be able over time to feel the glances of men and their interest in you, as you will radiate natural beauty that attracts the opposite sex.
Laugh
If you're on a date and you spill a drink, laughing at your own clumsiness will help diffuse the situation. It won't work if you're nervous or upset over such a small mistake. Believe me, this hasn’t ruined your evening yet; it happens to everyone.
Don't be afraid to laugh, it shows that you are relaxed and enjoying her company. Of course, you should never laugh at another person who is in the same awkward situation, since such behavior is characterized by cruelty.
How to become more attractive to women is a hotly debated topic at all times. When it comes to topics like facial hair and clothing choices, women's opinions are everywhere. However, our tips will help you be attractive to the vast majority of girls.
Above all, remember to be the best version of yourself.
It's not enough to just be sexy
One of my good friends, still recovering from a painful divorce, started an affair with a professional stripper. Yes, she was really sexy.
For months, old Tony had been in awe of such a passionate woman. I often met him in popular nightclubs, where he would watch Cindy perform and then enjoy her attention. But after some time, I found out that my friend was again looking for a girl, but for a serious relationship.
Tony admitted to me that his affair with the dancer was “the best and the worst at the same time.” Apparently Cindy's unhealthy lifestyle of sleepless nights, drugs, alcohol and strange encounters was starting to drive my poor friend crazy. In this relationship, passion, jealousy, excitement, fear and chaos were strangely mixed.
Tony liked the positives, but found it increasingly difficult to cope with the growing negatives of the relationship. The main reason for the breakup was that he could never bring Cindy to his parents' house and "meet Mommy." This means that he did not take this connection seriously.
I am sure that for a stripper, parting with my friend was by no means painless. After all, she was as sexy and attractive as a woman could be. But this relationship satisfied only one emotional need of my friend - excitement - and did not meet all the others.
They say that too good is also not good. If a partner is attracted to only one side, and besides, he is not able to offer anything more, over time such communication may become boring. The main secret of happy love is that the relationship combines stability and variety at the same time.
Let's talk about mistakes
Excessive efforts, obsession and loss of individuality are the main mistakes in the pursuit of attractiveness. It is also important to avoid:
- Manipulation. Attempts to please reveal an insecure personality, which is often used by manipulators and tyrants. As soon as psychological discomfort arises, communication should be stopped. It is almost impossible to convince or change toxic people, which is why it is dangerous to marry them.
- Excessive gullibility. This quality touches interlocutors, but rarely inspires respect. Openness and naivety attract toxic personalities and deceivers.
- Use of harmful beauty practices. Hunger strikes, figure-shaping drugs and other painful and dangerous procedures are an unjustified sacrifice. Women who restore their beauty after pregnancy especially often risk their health.
- Illusions. Inflated expectations and invented love can hurt and worsen self-esteem.
When trying to attract guys, it is important to appreciate your uniqueness and not overstep your own feelings. You can create personal 10 commandments for success, the goal of which is to achieve comfort, improve your health, become sociable and self-sufficient. Such profound changes will attract both lover and friends.
